


Upgrading

by Azhwi, LosttotheHoping



Series: The Sand Trails' Universe [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Akatsuki - Freeform, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Asuma lives, Comedy, Crack, Family Drama, Fugaku is NOT a dick, Growing Up, Haku Lives, Hiashi is NOT a dick, HidHin, Hidan's mouth, Humur, ItaSak, Kakuzu's ethics, Konoha - Freeform, Multi, Neiji IS a dick, OC: Hakumoto Isao, OC: Kami, Romance, School, Slice of Life, Students, Teachers, casual bone breakage, crack pairs, please do not panic, there are OCs, which is worse-Uchiha or Hyuuga issues?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-20
Updated: 2016-10-08
Packaged: 2018-03-31 11:32:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 16
Words: 61,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3976510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azhwi/pseuds/Azhwi, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LosttotheHoping/pseuds/LosttotheHoping
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to Sand Trails. Some things are simple; others are intrinsically complicated. The crazy has spread. It's no longer about just Itachi and Sakura, that's for sure… Continuing collaboration with Lost to the Hoping! Multiple couples, most of them crack. </p><p>Rated for sexual themes, violence, and Hidan's mouth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome back to the universe of Sand Trails! If you haven't read the ST, this will not make ANY sense at all. So read the first part and save yourself some confusion.
> 
> This sequel is a little better written (we cut down on the POV tennis matches) and with a clearer idea of what we wanted the story to be. That doesn't mean it's not going to wander and backtrack and go off on tangents. Seriously, this is one of those stories where we're just writing for the fun of it and there's no time limit here and no end in sight. This story is all about quirky ideas, gleeful violence, and guilty pleasures. No smut though. Sorry.
> 
> As always, Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto, not us. The STORY however, is ours--NO STEALING.  
> Collaboration with giddy Lost to the Hoping.

Dorms were... interesting. Different. It was chaotic in any case.

Itachi stood to the side, letting several male students rush by. They were chattering loudly about, of all things, properties of tomatoes—Sasuke would have approved. He couldn't tell if they belonged to a culinary course or a chemistry group. Shrugging, Itachi pushed off the wall and continued down the hall.

College life was refreshing in a way. Not in terms of hygiene—the dark-eyed teen skirted a random sock—but in terms of populace. Or specifically, how the populace reacted to  _him_. It was nice to be a random face in a crowd. The only reason other students avoided bumping into him was because of the large box he carried in his arms.

Most of them avoided him anyway.

When he had moved into his dorm room several days ago, he had had the unfortunate experience of being shoved in the stairwell. Only because Kakuzu was also helping him move, and thus was beside him, had saved the Uchiha from dropping his books on the steps. The teen that had knocked into Itachi had found himself pressed into immediate service as a pack mule that day. Kakuzu had given a very convincing statement, and an intimidating one.

When the impromptu helper had first stepped into Itachi's dorm, he had nearly dropped the books himself. Apparently, he had felt that suddenly finding a big blue shark-like teenager in a room was startling.

Kisame had laughed. At that time, the blue teen had been installing shelves up on the walls and had been holding up a hammer with several nails held in his mouth.

Or maybe it hadn't been the shark that had startled the student, but Hidan who was also there.

Hidan who had, at the time, had a tie around his neck and was gagging to get a rise out of Kisame. Of course, the albino was twice as delighted to startle the poor kid, and had spent the rest of the day doing everything in his power to freak him out. Needless to say, Kakuzu hadn't bothered to stop him.

As Itachi stepped into his girlfriend's room—one side of which was piled with boxes while the other was immaculately unpacked and cleaned—Sakura let out a loud, ear-piercing shriek and leapt back from the box she'd just opened. A squirrel dove out and scampered under the bed.

Ino—on the other side of the room—yelped when it tried to dart under her feet to get to the other bed. They still hadn't figured out whom said bed belonged to, as Sakura's roommate had not yet made an appearance.

"I'm going to MURDER that- that MASOCHISTIC ASSHOLE!" the pink-haired girl seethed.

Smirking openly, Itachi shook his head. "He may actually enjoy that."

As the pinkette whirled to face him, he quickly placed the box down on the floor and fled with a few parting words: "Masochist remember?"

The door swung shut.

"And then I'm coming after you!" Sakura yelled after him.

Ino burst into a fit of giggles and threw a book at Shikamaru, whom had dozed off in the corner. "Hey, lazy! You're supposed to be going through the books, not sleeping on them!"

One brown eye cracked open. "I did." He waved at the pile. "By class and alphabetized. What more do you want?" Wasn't his fault there was only room for one person in between the desk and the bookshelf.

The blonde quirked a brow at her friend, and then pointed at the box Itachi had just brought in, smiling sweetly. "New stock," she replied, and winked at him.

Sakura snickered before going back to the box of trinkets she'd been about to go through.

When had that come in? Grumbling, Shika rolled to his feet and reached for the box. He heaved it over to the desk by Ino and opened it. And blinked. "Uh..."

Shika reached out, snagging Ino. "Can you, um, get the books out for me? I'm gonna take a walk... I-I'll be back in five minutes. Maybe more." He ignored the indignant squawk from the blonde. "Bye!"

And the door swung shut again.

"... Sakura?"

"No blood on the carpet," Sakura said, waving her friend off.

Ino made a face. "Uhg, not worth it. Where's Sai? I thought you said he was on his way?"

"Something about pizza."

Pause. Frown. "Sakura, are you looking at a porn mag?"

Sakura squeaked and hid the magazine, looking at her friend. "What? No! Of course not!" she said quickly. Too quickly.

Ino smiled evilly. A moment later she started to laugh. "Found out why Shika ran," she burbled. "Oh my! Black and red lace... unpadded! Forehead Girl! I'm impressed."

Sakura was across the room in less than five seconds, jerking the box away from her friend. "I'll get this one, thanks, Ino-Pig," she said, face red enough that it clashed with her hair. "You can unpack the trinkets."

Completely unfazed, the blonde held the matching red thong in two hands, smiling wide. "Where did you find these?" She asked mercilessly. "They are HOT! Or did a certain Uchiha buy them for you?"

There was another shriek of outrage as Sakura dove forwards toward her friend.

This time the door swung open.

To reveal a redhead with titanium piercings, striking gray eyes, and a faintly frustrated expression.

Both girls froze, eyes wide as they met his gaze. As those steely eyes lifted, locking on the underwear. As he blinked and looked back at their faces. "Uh."

Sakura giggled nervously. "Um."

He backed up, looking at the number on the wall, and cleared his throat without looking back in. "Have you seen Konan?"

"Konan?" Sakura echoed stupidly.

Whisking the underwear into a back pocket, the blonde blinked. "No one else but us for the whole morning. Is she supposed to be here?"

"This is the room number she told me," he deadpanned, looking into the room once more. He glanced at the bed behind Ino, and sighed. "And that's her stuff. You sure you haven't seen her?"

Sakura nodded slowly, closing the flaps of the box after she'd set it down on her bed. "Yeah, I'm sure. Guess that answers our question on my roommate."

"Yes."

Silence for a beat, before Sakura coughed. "Uhm, but if we see her, we'll let you know."

Rolling her eyes, Ino grabbed her cell from the table. "So! What's your number?"

The redhead blinked, and looked at Sakura, who giggled again. Then he looked back at the blonde. "Not to be rude, but who are you again?"

"The girl who will be calling you when Konan shows up?" the blonde responded guilelessly. At his flat look, Ino sighed. "Yamanaka Ino." No need to say that his girl had knocked her down once before in their old high school; Konan probably took out dozens of poor souls in a week.

"Hm. I'm Pein," he replied, and glanced out the door as if hoping his girlfriend would round the corner. She didn't. "Well, give me your phone and I'll put my number in." He stepped into the room and stopped at the end of the bed, hand held out expectantly.

Ino quirked a brow, but handed over her cell. "Think her phone's out of juice?"

He added himself to the contacts list and shrugged. "Or she's pouncing some unsuspecting girl in a bathroom," he replied, apparently unbothered by this thought.

Sakura blinked. "Seriously? I mean... she really does that kinda thing?" she asked, eyes wide.

Pein handed Ino her phone back, looking at Sakura. "Yes."

"Wow." Holding up her hands at looks from both parties, Ino shrugged. "What?" Sakura was going to have a very interesting college experience. That was for sure! Seeing how it was Konan though, the blonde didn't envy her.

Sakura made a face and wondered if she'd have to start carrying mace. Pein smirked at her. "Good luck with that," he said unsympathetically. "Later." He turned away and left.

Wandering over to the distressed girl, Ino slung one arm around her friend's shoulders, the lacy thong dangled from her other hand. "May want to hide this. Permanently. Or at least until Konan is in a different country."

"Do you know where I can purchase a steel chastity belt?" Sakura wondered faintly.

Which was what Itachi and Shikamaru heard as they both walked into the room.

xXx

When Hidan got home from work that night, the apartment was silent. His brow furrowed as he checked his watch, but Hinata should have been home an hour ago. He grimaced as he tugged off his shoes and put them on the shoe-rack by habit.

He was still getting used to the thought that, starting next week—when Kakuzu officially started staying in his dorm—he'd be living alone with his girlfriend for the duration of Kakuzu's first semester of college. Not that this bothered him  _at all_.

He smirked at the thought as he wandered through the darkened hallways, searching for the girl who was always on his mind these days. Without Kakuzu coming and going, they had  _privacy_ , something he took great joy in pointing out to the easily embarrassed Hyuuga.

"Hinata?" he called softly. The kitchen and living room had yielded no results, so he headed down the hall toward the bedrooms and bathroom.

Over in the tub, Hinata was drowsing until she heard Hidan's voice.

Muffling a squeak, she snapped her eyes on the door. The  _unlocked_ door.  _Shit_! She was only going to take a shower, but had succumbed to the lure of a good long soak. The hazy plan had been to be out, dressed, and poking at the fridge's contents by the time the albino made it home.

Should she speak up? If she did, he would know where she was. If she didn't, he might just walk in looking. Either way, footsteps paused on the other side of the door.

"You in there?" he asked, tapping the door. No answer, so he reached for the handle, half to make sure she was okay and half to get a peep if she was in the tub. The doorknob turned easily in his hand, and he pushed it open.

Three things happened at once: a shouted "No looking!", the slam of a shampoo bottle hitting the side of the door, and the rattle of the shower curtain being yanked across the rail.

He snickered. "Aww, you're being shy," he teased, pushing the door open totally so he could lean against the jam. He peered at the closed curtain and clucked his tongue mock-chidingly. "I think I see your naked foot."

Sunk down to her chin in lukewarm water and bubbles, Hinata glared at the shadow being cast on her only protection from prying eyes. "If you don't turn around right now and walk out, that's all you'll be seeing naked of me for the rest of the day," she growled. "And shut the door." The candles on the counter wavered from the cooler air flooding in.

"So if I do walk out, I get to see you naked?" he asked, tone smug. The door clicked shut without another word, and his footsteps receded.

Pearly eyes blinked.  _I hadn't... Huh_? There's no reason for him to expect... Meeping, she dunked her heated cheeks under the water.

Seconds after, she emerged gasping.  _Huddle in mortification later_ , she told herself.  _But lock the door now_!

Later, when Hinata was slumped against a locked bathroom door with a black beach towel wrapped around her, she thumped her head against the wood.

 _This is so backwards_! Reaching out, she flicked on the light. Most girls were already sleeping—no, the least she could do was say it in her head—having  _sex_ with their boyfriends well before moving in with them.

Well, here she was. She had moved  _out_ with Hidan. She still had a room of her own... still slept in her own bed... still shy...

Groaning, she slid down to the tiles and closed her eyes. Why was she so shy? Hell, if she weren't her, she'd have shaken her head and pitied Hidan.

 _I'm living on my own. Doing what I want._  Hinata paused, and then thunked her head against the door again.  _Do I even know what I want_?

Hidan seemed to be okay with waiting: he teased, he pried, he peeked. And for all her embarrassment, Hinata was relieved that he was still interested.

 _I just wish I knew what I was doing_!

 _First things, first. Get off the floor_. Sighing, Hinata pushed herself up. She couldn't just hole up in the bathroom all night.

Candles extinguished, bathwater draining, towel tucked around her tight, Hinata peeked outside.  _Coast is clear_... In fact... something smelled really good...

Clothing had priority, she reminded herself, and tiptoed into her room down the hall.

Hidan was making omelettes when she finally came out into the kitchen. In fact, one was already on a plate and steaming, while he was pouring the mixture for the second into the pan. He turned. "Hey there, goddess. Hope you're hungry."

"Definitely," she replied, moving up to hug him. It was funny how much confidence came with having layers between her skin and his eyes. "Smells fantastic."

He smirked and tugged her into a quick kiss. "So do you. New shampoo." It wasn't a question.

Giggling, she ducked her head under his chin. "Aa. The two of you have been introduced." It had been the bottle to meet the door.

He nudged her toward the table. "Go on, eat before it gets cold. I'll join you in a sec."  _Fuck_ , she was hot all wet like that. He was tempted. Far, far too tempted.

"Sure thing." Oblivious, Hinata snagged the plate from the counter and took it with her. "Do you want anything to drink?" she asked, pausing after she set the food down.

"Eh, just... uh, no," he said, and flipped the omelette in the pan.

Hinata blinked, and got a can of root beer from the fridge before sitting down. "Are you okay?"

"Yep," he said and tossed her a grin. "Fucking horny as hell, but I'm alright."

Her reaction was everything he wished for. Bright red and sputtering, Hinata slapped a hand over her mouth. Then she started laughing.

Grinning, he turned off the stove and put the omelette on the empty plate by his elbow before walking over to sit next to her. "So whaddya say to being covered in chocolate, sexy?"

Leaning over, with her chin propped up in one palm, Hinata gave him a brave smile. "Sounds interesting?" Actually, licking chocolate off Hidan sounded delicious, but she couldn't say that!

He set down his fork and turned his head to look at her, a very deliberate smirk quirking the corner of his mouth upward. "Is that so?" he murmured. "You saying I get to lick it off?"

Hinata gulped. Glanced away. Took a breath, and looked back at her boyfriend. Licked her lips. "Um... Maybe?"

Wine-red eyes narrowed slightly. "Maybe, eh?" He reached out and tugged her close, though pausing before their lips met. "Better eat your dinner and think about it, Hinata," he murmured, breath ghosting over her lips. And then he stole a painfully brief kiss before picking his fork up again.

She allowed herself enough time to catch her breath. And timed her response for just after he swallowed. "It d-depends," Hinata forced out, eyes snapping back to the food in front of her, barely half of it eaten. "There m-might not be... enough left..." Sucking in another breath, she continued, "a-after I'm d-done licking it... off... you."

His fork paused halfway to his mouth, and his eyes canted to the left to take in her beet-red expression. His jaw might have been slightly loose. "... oh really now?" he murmured, setting the fork down again. "You know, I might just take you up on that offer, Hinata. If you  _really_  mean it."

Glancing up, Hinata met his eyes, and really thought about it. Or tried to think past her thumping heart. Her lips quirked and she gave him a shaky smile. "Mean it? … Yes." She looked down again and blew out a breath. "Brave enough for it? I h-hope so."

She shook her head and laughed a little at herself. "It's not like... it would be... difficult," she muttered, cutting a look at him. "I just... don't know how to s-start." Her eyes drifted back down to her lap.

"I can show you," he replied quietly. "All you gotta do is say the word. But if you're not ready, you say that too. I'm not gonna push you, alright?"

The pale girl nodded. Sighed. And finally looked up. One eyebrow was raised. "Do we... actually... have chocolate?" she asked smiling slightly.

"Yeah," he said with a matter of fact nod. "I've been saving a bottle since we met."

Hinata's pearly eyes blinked once. "Really?"

He nodded again. "Yep. Hershey's."

There was a long pause. Biting her lip, she glanced at the clock. "When does Kakuzu get home again?"

"About... three AM, or something like that," he replied with a smirk. "I'd like to note that the bedroom door locks."

She rewarded him with a smile. "Kakuzu isn't the resident peeper."

"You don't gotta worry about  _peepers_  tonight, goddess," he pointed out with a perverted grin. He licked his lips very pointedly. "Just chocolate."

"No, I guess not," she replied slowly, pulling her gaze away from where his tongue had disappeared. Yes? No? Her thoughts whirled. Now? Later? Hinata met Hidan's eyes.  _Yes. Now_. "My room or yours?"

Hidan offered her a real smile this time and got to his feet. "Yours. Just let me get the chocolate first."

Rubbing a hand over the back of her neck, she looked down at the uneaten food. "Sorry about dinner?" What the heck was she supposed to do between now and... and then?

He grabbed an unopened bottle of chocolate syrup from the fridge. "Eh, we'll eat it after. Believe me." He walked up to her and held out a hand. "Last chance, Hinata... It pains me to say it, but if you want to back out, now's the time."

"I'm ready, really, but..." Eyeing the chilled bottle, Hinata gulped. Some part of her brain was firing off warnings. "You are  _so_ going first," she muttered.

He smirked and tugged her to her feet. "Whatever works for you, baby," he replied agreeably.

xXx

Rapping a knuckle on the dull painted door, Kisame tilted his head and listened to the faint music from the other side. Some kind of rock music.

He was a few minutes early to his 'interview,' but he doubted that Genma would keep him waiting outside. A faint smirk curled his lips.  _Ah, the good life; where work comes to you_.

The warehouse he stood outside wasn't much to look at: decent shape, okay location, windows were large, and there looked to be several bay doors on the north side with loading bays. If Gemma actually owned the building, it could work very well.

 _He better have an air conditioner unit installed now, or very soon though_. Working in a metal box was not fun.

The door opened, and a familiar face peeked out. "Yo. You're early," Genma noted. "Oh well. C'mon in, I'll give you the  _grand tour_." He stepped back and held the door open for the younger male to enter.

"Charmed," Kisame drawled back as he walked in. "So? You've got Kakuzu and Hidan. Anyone else on board?"

"Aah... yeah. Akasuna Sasori's gonna show up too," Genma replied, smiling. "And Deidara-san mentioned a passing interest, but I don't think he'll be showing up till later."

"Huh." Kisame looked around at the various machinery as Genma lead the way across the floor. Kisame knew what they all did... Put them all together though... Not a clue. "Okay, I'll bite.  _What_ are you making?"

"Pretty much whatever's commissioned, that's wooden," Genma answered with a faint shrug.

Kisame turned to take another survey of the warehouse. "That we can do... So, the commissioners provide the materials and the money, we provide the means and the manual labour?"

Some vague sense of déjà vu niggled in the back of the blue teen's mind. Something that involved similar circumstances. Must have been from school. Something...

"Oh, yeah, unless they pay extra," Genma was saying, pausing to check a gauge on a nearby machine.

_Something involving pressure maps...?_

"If that's the case, and they specify they want us to—"

It clicked. Sai. Ino.  _Sculptures_.

Genma abruptly cut off, blinking, when his former student exploded into laughter. "Uh..." His brows lifted slowly. "Kisame-kun?"

One large blue hand waved helplessly as the teen gulped air and let out another final guffaw before slumping against a power saw. "Nnnggh... Oh kami... Gimme a sec. Ow... stomach..."

There was a loud banging on the door then. "Right," Genma said, bemused, and then shrugged it off. "You just collect yourself while I get the door."

The brunet shook his head as he wandered back the way they'd come to push said door open for Sasori and Deidara. "Hey, sensei!" Deidara greeted cheerfully as they walked inside.

Sasori bowed in greeting but said nothing as he glanced around. He offered Kisame a wave when he spotted his former lab partner.

By that time, Sharky was in control of his aching diaphragm, though his lungs were staging a protest against abuse. Itachi still didn't understand how he was able to inflict internal damage to himself just by laughing.  _Eh, it's a perk. Like the skin tone_.

Kicking up one corner of his lips, Kisame gave the newcomers a smile and a two finger salute. "Hey."

"Hey, Kisame, any word from Hidan and Kakuzu?" the more verbal newcomer asked as he wandered back over to join them. "Hidan's phone is off and I think Kakuzu changed his again, un."

Kisame shrugged. "Hidan can't commit to more than maybe two days a week, and then only a half day. He's not giving up his junk yard job. Sorry, Genma, but the pay there is better."

The former teacher shrugged. He'd expected as much when he'd offered the job to the albino.

Rubbing an ache below his sternum, Kisame frowned as he continued. "Kakuzu...  _shouldn't_ be able to commit even that much. He's taking an intense course load this semester, but it's Kakuzu. The fucker is crazy. So who knows what happens when you wave a paycheck in front of his face. Though..."

Kisame smirked at Genma. "If you get him in here, and he stays with you. You know you're golden. Cuz he won't bother with anything not worth his time. And he's  _expensive_."

Grimacing and pulling a toothpick out of his pocket, Genma nodded. "Yeah, I gathered that when I visited him." That was a figure he wouldn't forget. "Is he really that good?" Kakuzu had never, ever bothered with any of Genma's classes.

"Hell yeah," Deidara piped up, smirking. "Asshole gets money off of  _everything_ , un."

"Including Hidan," Sharky snickered. Though, he had yet to hear anything about  _Hinata_ losing money to the money monger.

Genma huffed. "Well, we'll see how it works out, I guess," he replied. "You guys wanna see the office? It's for use of anybody working here, pretty much. Oh, which reminds me, you guys remember Yoko-san?"

Deidara perked slightly as they followed their prospective employer toward a door near the front of the room. "Your aide from the school?"

"Yeah." The older male bobbed his head in a nod and grabbed the doorknob. "He's here." He pushed the door open, and Yoko Kyuubi looked up from where he had been peering down at a college textbook. "Yoko-san, you remember Toji, Hoshigaki and Akasuna?"

"Ah..." Yoko hurried to his feet and offered a bow. "Hello."

 _Oh no... Not the right way to start things_. Kisame snorted, he hated formalities. "Yoko-san, don't do that. You've already been working with us for how many months? Besides, we owe you."

The taller redhead blinked. "Ah... Alright," he agreed, nonplussed. "Then please call me Kyuubi."

"Works for me," the blond inserted cheerfully. "Nice to see ya, Kyuubi."

Expression completely neutral, Sharky pointed at Deidara, "Flashy demolitions," the finger travelled to Sasori, "Psychotic Puppet Fanatic," Kisame didn't dare blink... and then he pointed at himself, "Uchiha contact."

"You're being modest, un," Deidara inserted innocently. "Kisame's also good at comedic relief."

Sasori smirked, not at all bothered by the reference to his mental instability.

Kyuubi blinked. "Okay." He gave them a faint smile. "Well... welcome, in any case. I hope to work well with you." He turned his gaze onto the eldest in the room. "Speaking of... did you finish that schedule?"

"Eh." Genma gave a lazy shrug. "I decided to let people decide themselves. My only condition is that anyone under my employ has to work a minimum of four hours for at least two days of the week, and I would  _like_  for one of those days to be either Wednesday or Sunday."

"May I see this schedule?" Sasori asked curiously.

No sooner had he said it than Genma was reaching for a blue folder half-buried by school work a la Kyuubi. He handed it over. "Mull it over."

Kakuzu's lust for money drifted across Kisame's mind. "Are you calling a limit on how many hours someone can book in?" he asked innocently.

Genma shrugged again. "No," he replied simply.

"Cool," Deidara said, peeking over Sasori's shoulder.

"Have any copies of that?" Kisame asked.

Reaching out, Genma carefully tugged a blank sheet from the folder in Akasuna's hands. "Here," he said passing the paper over. "Take it home, think 'bout it. Try not to think too long though. I've got two commissions lined up and I'd like to start in two weeks."

Blue eyes lifted, focusing briefly on Genma's face, then Kyuubi's, and Deidara smiled. "I'll get back to you within the week, then, un," he declared. "With the hours."

Sasori nodded, taking a copy. "I'll get back to you later as well," he inserted.

Folding the paper into quarters, Kisame slipped it into a back pocket. "Probably in a few days," he estimated.  _Maybe even less_. Wasn't like he had a lot to do these days. Deja vu kicked him in the head again, but he ignored it.

"Great. Now, I'll give the tour to Sasori-kun and Deidara-kun. Kisame-kun, you're welcome to stick around if you want." Genma took the closed folder back from Sasori and tucked it onto a shelf above the textbooks.

"Eh, no." The shark shook his head. "I'll head off. Oh—" He grabbed a black marker from the desk and scrawled his phone number on the wall by the door. "In case, you need to reach me."

Kyuubi eyed the vandalized wall but shrugged. "We'll let you know. Please get back to us soon," he said. It was a bit obvious that he was already on board.

"Oh, tour! Yeah, that'd be nice, un!" Deidara chirped, grabbing his best friend and dragging him along after Genma. "See what kinda equipment..."

xXx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll try to keep up a schedule of a chapter each month. I'd promise one every two weeks but... I know I won't be able to keep that up.  
> Welcome back!


	2. Chapter 2

Green eyes widened when, after hearing a knock on the door and opening it, one Uzumaki Naruto latched onto her and dragged her from her room. To his left, Sasuke smirked and went to grab her purse and lock the door. "O-oy!" she protested. "What the hell?"

"We're going out for lunch, dammit," the blond told her immediately. "Choji, Shikamaru and Ino are meeting us at McDonalds."

"But I still have unpacking to do," she said, nonetheless letting her best friend march her down the dorm hallway. She'd gotten most of the unpacking done the day before—and even some after Konan returned and tried to molest her—but had been forced to stop due to plain exhaustion. She'd gotten up early, started once more, and now it was around eleven.

Her blond friend snorted. "Yeah, uh huh," he said. "Sure."

Laughing, she knocked her hip into his. "It's true! But okay, what's the big plan? You can't just be taking me out for fast-food burgers."

"We are!" the blond claimed, all innocence and wide cerulean eyes.

Hurrying to catch up to them, Sasuke overheard and snorted. "Even  _I_  don't believe that crap," he said, smirking. He grabbed the pinkette's arm, sliding it through his with a softer smile. "We're kidnapping you before niisan and his friends manage to steal your attention for the day. Hence why we're hiding out at McDonalds."

"At McD's." She levelled a skeptical stare at him. "For how long?" Normally, Sasuke wouldn't go near the place much less stay there longer than necessary. Things must have gotten critical. She grimaced. "I guess I have been spending most of my time with the guys."

Naruto let out a loud, dramatic sigh (and stole her other arm; Sasuke was still holding her purse). "You have! So much that they've been entitled 'the guys'! You've replaced us, Sakura-chan!" he wailed despondently, though there was a playful twinkle in his eye.

Swinging around, Sakura gave Naruto a shocked look. "I have not replaced you!" She snugged both arms in tightly and grinned. "I just upgraded."

"Ouch," Sasuke said. "What, niisan for me and Deidara for Naruto?"

"OY!" the blond protested loudly. He released her arm long enough to nudge open the door in the lobby, leading out into the grassy campus of Konoha College.

"Actually, Kisame for Naruto. They both enjoy pranking." Which was an understatement. Sharky had told her about the pranks Naruto had in the works when he visited the attic hide-out. Camaraderie didn't cover his tone; competitive though, just might.

Naruto claimed her arm again as they walked toward the parking lot, ignoring the few students milling around. "Seriously?" he asked mournfully. "I'm not  _blue_."

"Well, not until someone kicks you in the balls," Sasuke muttered under his breath.

"True..." Sakura snuck a look at her blond friend. "You don't have the muscles either, but that's okay, because you have a wonderful sense of humour. Right Sasuke-kun?"

Dark eyes regarded her with an odd mixture of exasperation and amusement. "Is that a trick question?" He snickered when the blond in question shot him an evil glare. "Yes, wonderful sense of humor. Like laughing gas."

Naruto sniffed. "So! Sakura-chan, guess who's gotten their license? And before you say teme, it's not him."

She actually stumbled. "No!" Wide green eyes swerved over to black. "Before you?!"

"I lost the money I was going to use to get mine to him," the black-haired boy nodded to their friend, "in a game of slap-jack. Don't ask. Anyway, I'm taking the test next week."

Naruto grinned. "I'll be driving us to McDonalds."

"I'm almost afraid," Sakura said, "but I think the opportunity to see my best friend's driving skills is too good to pass up. Shotgun!"

"Uhg, I should have seen that coming," Sasuke complained.

Snickering, Naruto lead them to a familiar beat up truck. "Now that I actually have a  _license_  to drive it... Cause I was gonna help Hinata-chan, but I think she was nervous about me not having one..."

"No, she's just a smart girl," his other friend quipped.

"Bite me. Anyway, like the paint job? Jiraiya gave it to me when I passed the test, and said I could do whatever to it." He patted the raised wall of the bed fondly, grinning. Whereas the truck was clearly the same as the one Jiraiya had often picked him up with, it was now sporting a bright, eye-damaging coat of orange paint.

Squinting, Sakura made a show of lifting a hand to shield her eyes. "I retract my earlier statement. I'm afraid to  _not_ be inside. If I stay out, the glare might blind me." She laughed at his instant pout and hugged Naruto. "I'm kidding. I'm kidding. It looks well done." And it was. Smooth and even, without any discolouration that she could see.

He grinned excitedly. "I spent five hours making sure this was perfect," the boy claimed. "C'mon, let's get to the McDonalds."

"Any last words, Uchiha?" she murmured, leaning close to Sasuke.

"'Oh shit!' handles are there for a reason."

xXx

Dry cool air washed over her as she stepped into the cheerfully bright restaurant. Sakura took two steps before seeing another blonde friend. Three steps took her towards the padded booth and Ino's arms wrapped around her. Customers all around cringed as the two girls reconnected.

With a lot of squealing. And jumping. And words that were technically too quick for coherence. Naruto made a face as he skirted them and plopped down next to Shikamaru (Choji took the other spot of that side of the booth).

"Um, so... I thought they saw each other yesterday?" Choji asked, blinking at the display.

Ino finally detached with a loud giggle, and dragged Sakura over to sit, sliding in first so Sasuke wouldn't get touchy. "I did! But so much has happened!" she said excitedly.

"You went home, took a shower and went to bed," Naruto deadpanned, baffled.

"And there was the phone-call, and the—"

"Never mind! I don't need to know!" he added quickly.

Taking pity on the poor fool, Sakura beamed at Shika and Choji. "How are you two? And what's going on between Ino and Sai? She refuses to tell me anything!"

"Oh, he finally asked her on an actual date," Choji said with a shrug, chomping down on a few fries.

Ino flushed. "Yeah, and then he took me to a friggin' art museum. It was... actually really anticlimactic. I swear I expected a porn show."

Grinning from across the table, Naruto pointed at her accusingly. "You're disappointed he didn't try to feel you up."

"What! NO!" she shrieked, shocked. "No!"

And that's when Sakura pounced. "So what are you disappointed about? Naruto's right, you're not impressed."

The blonde cringed under the mass attention of everyone else. "W-well... I'm not  _disappointed_... really..." When a pink brow just quirked, she slumped. "I dunno! I guess I just expected something else! He was a  _perfect gentleman_. I mean, what's up with that? That's just  _not Sai_! I-I like  _Sai_  for Sai, not... not that guy with the suit that showed up on my doorstep."

"In other words, you accepted his invitation out, because you like him as a  _pervert_ and how he's been acting at school. And then when he is  _polite_  you don't like it. Is that right?" Sakura asked, carefully enunciating each word. "Did you tell him that? He must have gone through a lot of effort to hold himself back. That's a lot of respect for you."

"Augh," Ino groaned, and rubbed her temples tiredly. "I know what you're thinking. I'm awful for not liking it. And, I mean, I kind of did like it a little... but it was just so awkward and... surreal. It was like those dreams some people have, where they wake up naked at school. You just... want to wake up. The art was nice, I think, and the people were nice... but I spent the whole time prepared to fend him off but he didn't do anything."

Naruto nodded slowly, and as one of Sai's closest friends, felt that his input was needed. "He probably felt nervous. Once, when we were in like middle school, he had this huge crush on some girl in our grade, but she just ended up screwing around with him. So he tends to get very cautious."

"I totally screwed it up, didn't I?" Ino asked, looking like she wanted to pull out her hair.

"Nah. He's probably just moping somewhere, but if you actually  _tell_  him you like him back, he'll bounce back like a puppy," Naruto said, and snickered. "On  _that_  note, I'm hungry. Teme, let's go get lunch for us and Sakura-chan."

Frowning slightly, Sakura nudged Ino with her shoulder. "What do you mean by 'screwed it up'? Did you tell him off or something?" Most of Ino and Sai's interactions  _did_ involve the blonde screaming bloody murder.

"No, I just sort of... acted disinterested," Ino muttered, sighing as the two boys went off. "Okay, let me explain. He took me home, and we  _stood there on the steps_  for like ten minutes... but I didn't move forward to get a kiss, and he didn't attempt to get one, and so I eventually just said my dad was expecting me and went inside."

Sakura cringed. "You must have watched through the peep-hole. How did he react?"

"By the time I'd closed the door, his back was already turned and he was going off... but I think that has more to do with his father than anything." She stiffened and covered her mouth with both hands. "Forget I said that! Don't ask, don't pry!" she squeaked around them. "Don't."

"Okay, okay!" Sakura brought up her hands in a gesture of surrender. "I won't. But, still. It sounds like you need to find Sai and talk to him. Naruto's right—I can't believe I'm saying that a second time today. He deserves to know what made you unhappy." She hugged her poor confused friend. "And maybe another chance?"

Ino nodded, hugging her back. "Maybe I'll call him to come join us?"

"That would be a good start... but you didn't answer my question. Are you going to give him another date? Maybe set this one up yourself to show him what  _you_ like."

The blonde nodded again, tugging out her phone. "Of  _course_  I'm going to go out with him again, Sak. Really, you should know that," she said, eyes rolling. She put the phone to her ear, and the ring went half-way through before a familiar voice answered... from right behind her.

"Hello, Inooo, how are you?" Sai asked, grinning widely.

_Blink blink_. Ino snapped the phone shut and twisted around as Sai tugged off the sunglasses he'd been wearing. "Wha- you- I wa- SAAAAIII!" she shrieked, and reached out, swatting him upside the head. Her face had turned completely red, but the boy took the hit, grinning at her the whole time. "You eavesdropping, cheating, annoying pest!"

Snickering, Sakura vacated from the bench and slid over next to Shika and Choji. "That went well, I think," she said to Nara who rolled his eyes.

Sai chuckled and got up, grabbing his soda and tray before skirting the seatback between them and scooting in. "What? It was reconnaissance," he claimed, still smiling at her.

She crossed her arms and glared. "It was eavesdropping."

"Same thing, really," he retorted happily, and nudged her over as Naruto and Sasuke returned. "Thanks for not spilling the beans!"

"You two knew about him?!" Ino yelled, furious.

Sasuke gave her one long slow blink. "Hnn." He sat down next to Sakura and slid a tray in front of her.

Naruto grinned and plopped down next to Sai. "We totally did," he said, amused. "Hey pass the salt."

"Get it yourself!" she retorted, but Sai reached past her and snagged the container of packets and slid it over to the blond. "Uhg. Whatever."

"We can talk later," Sai said, beaming at her. "Okay?"

She flushed and nodded slowly, eyes wide as it finally sunk in that he'd heard  _everything_. "Okay..."

"Alright, folks. Now that that's been smoothed over, what are we doing for the rest of the day?" Sakura stuck a fry in her mouth and waited. Because Naruto couldn't possibly have been serious about staying here all afternoon.

Choji grinned. "Movie, roller-rink, and then dinner," he told her.

Ino perked up at that, and inserted, "And then we're all getting back to Naruto's place-"

"I thought we decided on Sasuke's?" Naruto interrupted, then added, "Jiraiya," pointedly.

Sasuke huffed. "Niisan, dobe." Sakura was making faces like she wasn't sure whether to laugh or scowl at.

"Oh c'mon, it can't be that bad!" the blond protested. "I mean, he expects her to hang with his friends all the time! Why can't he hang with us? I'm willing to make the sacrifice." He nodded.

Choji almost drooled. "Uchiha-dono's cooking..."

Sakura blinked. Itachi? Here? With Naruto? It was hilarious and bad. She cut her eyes at Sasuke who looked ready to murder their friend. "It's not that he expects it... He just manages to grab me first," she said slowly, "and besides, what would he talk about? He'd be left on the sidelines."

Not that it would really bother niisan, Sasuke thought. He'd just snuggle up to Sakura and— _Uggghh_. "Are you out of your mind?"

"Nope!" Naruto smirked. "Anyway, he'll probably be at the dorm. You have more room, teme, and no Jiraiya, who'd be hospitalized after trying to feel someone up."

"How about we compromise and go to Shika's?" Ino inserted quickly. "He's got that huge house! Passed down. Right Shika?" The dangerous smile was there, saying if he didn't agree, she had blackmail.

Utterly unfazed, Shika in contrast raised one single dark brow. "And what's wrong with  _your_ place? Your house is just as big as mine, and probably has more couches. Mine's more of a big library. Don't go volunteering other people's homes just because your plans failed, Ino." He smirked. "Besides, mother believes in forewarning. And she's got her own guests there now."

She pouted. "Uhg. But my dad is a total spaz. He'll start glaring menacingly at every boy in my vicinity. Plus! I don't want to introduce him to Sai quite yet."

Sai grinned at the undertone to that comment. "My house is out, too. It's pretty small."

Choji heaved a sigh. "Guess that leaves my house. We can use the den."

"Hoo-yah!" Naruto cheered. "Choji's house after dinner, then! Thanks Choji!"

The big boy waved a hand. "Sure, sure. Alright, well, the movie's at 12:40, so you'd better eat. It's almost 12," he said, and pointedly took a bite of his burger.

"Cool," Sakura grinned. Blinked. "What movie are we watching?"

xXx

The only reason Hidan woke up was because he heard the faint sound of a door slamming, and his eyes popped open automatically. Mostly since he was used to pranks from every which way, and closing doors were generally considered a warning sign. Also, there was a weight on his side that wasn't at all familiar.

It took him thirty whole seconds to realize what said weight must be, and then he turned his head. Hidan grinned.  _Score!_

_And_  she was still sleeping. Part of him wanted to get up and go get something to eat, or make something and wake her up for it (just because he was cheesy that way). However, he wasn't too keen on the 'getting up' and 'leaving the goddess' bits.

Besides, the blanket had slipped during the night, so he had a  _great_  view to occupy his attention. Which brought to mind another thought.  _I wonder how long it'll take to... 'wake her up'_?

Ice-white silky sheets were pulled tight around a slim waist, but sometime in her sleep, Hinata had slid closer, opting to cling to him instead of the fabric. Her skin was just as soft and smooth as he remembered. He had to smirk at the love bites scattered across her shoulder and down over her breasts. They weren't deep, but it was amazing she had allowed him to mark her at all: a sweet stutter and a small nod. The startled gasp and the shudder at each nip had been intoxicating, but not as much as the taste and feel of her flesh under his lips, between his teeth...

_Aw, hell,_  he thought, and reached out. "Hey, wake up, sleepy head," he drawled, brushing dark hair behind her ear.

Which only succeeded in coaxing her closer: one leg curling over his, the smooth thigh sliding up...

He groaned softly, and gave up. One arm slid down, wrapped around her waist and he abruptly dragged her up onto his chest. "Hey goddess, I'm just fine with being a pillow, but I'd much rather be a dildo."

"Mmmph?" He caught the small scrunch of her brows before her hand came up and swept back wayward strands from her blinking eyes. "Hidan?" Blink. "Where..." One, two, three, four... "OmiGAWD!" Those adorably sleepy eyes blew wide open.

The albino had to grab at her arms before she bolted, a chuckle escaping his throat. "Calm down, calm down," he said. "Take a deep breath, and try to remember the last twenty four hours." Though he was clearly amused.

Again, Hinata blinked, though this time she did so with bright red cheeks. Clearly she could feel the body she was draped over, certain parts in particular were pressing quite close. "Oh..." she breathed, the panic receding, but the blush darkening. "Omigawd..." And she hid her face against his throat. "Hidan?"

"Yeah, goddess, what's up?"

"Can you find my phone? I think I need to call in sick today... Not sure I can walk."

Hidan snorted, poking her in the side and smirking when she twitched. "It's Friday, sexy. You don't have to."

"Oh, right." Then she did the sexiest little wiggle and pressed in  _closer_. "Mm, in that case." She turned her head and placed a kiss under his jaw. "Good morning."

_Aw hell_ , he thought for the second time that morning. Wine-red eyes narrowed slightly, though a smirk quirked his mouth. "Morning, goddess," he said, sliding one hand up her side and into her hair. Then he dragged her into a kiss.

When they finally separated, Hinata smiled down at him. "I could get used to this." And then she initiated a kiss that was far less lip and more a full-body slide that had the albino gasping.

"So can I," he finally managed, grinning up at her.

xXx


	3. Hyuuga

"Right, okay, so you really expect me to believe that bullshit?" Hidan demanded, glaring at the blond in front of him.

Deidara puffed up, immediately offended. "Yeah I do, un! It's  _true_ , you fucking asshole!"

Hidan scoffed. "Yeah, and I'm a fucking virgin."

"Who knew?!"

"Why you—"

Luckily, before the two managed to get into any sort of fist fight (or worse), Kakuzu arrived and neatly separated them. Painfully.

No one else batted an eyelash, though. In fact, Sakura had long since tuned them out. "Hello, Kakuzu. Glad you could make it," she greeted with a bright smile as the older teen sat on a couch.

The money monger met her gaze, and shrugged. "Yeah," was all he offered in return.

Rolling her eyes, Sakura leaned back against her date, and went back to gazing about the basement. "You know, I think the last time I was here, was before I left for Suna. It really hasn't changed. The only thing that's missing is Kisame and the huge piñata."

Itachi was midway through curling an arm around the pinkette's waist when he paused at the word 'piñata'. She still didn't know... and it would probably best she continued to be ignorant. He traded glances with Hidan who had stiffened at the mention of Suigetsu.

Kakuzu's eyes had narrowed, but he finally just shrugged. "Kisame'll be here shortly, probably," he replied calmly. "What about you?"

Hidan went over to join Hinata on the same couch his best friend occupied, and Deidara managed to regain his feet and left for drinks.

Tilting her head, Sakura blinked at the tall dark teenager. "Kakuzu, is there anything important in my life during the past year that you  _don't_  know about?" she deadpanned.

"Perhaps," Kakuzu replied. "Just because I  _can_  get the information at any point doesn't mean I do." He shrugged. "Communication is sometimes more desirable."

"Right," Sakura drawled. "Well, I am now living with our adorable little Konan. Her boyfriend's phone number is on my best friend's cell phone—which is weird just thinking of it. The movie,  _Judge Dredd_  isn't bad; I just wish I had seen it in 3D. Naruto and Sasuke haven't given me up," she paused with a grin. "So my chances of free time are shrinking even further once classes start."

"I see," Kakuzu murmured thoughtfully. "I didn't know about Pein's number." The implication, of course, was obvious.

Pink brows rose. "Who, besides me, would possibly tell you that information?" She sounded honestly curious.

Kakuzu smiled at that and held out one large hand wordlessly.

"Uh uh." She shook her head. "By your own rules, information is worth money, and I just gave you something new. Just tell me if there  _is_  someone who would tell you that."

Kakuzu's smile had simply widened (to Hidan's relief). "Of course there is, Sakura. There are many people who will."

"Many?" she repeated back gaping. "That can't be right. There's me, Pein, Ino. Maybe Konan if Ino ever did call Pein. There wasn't anyone else in the room! Ino wouldn't tell anyone, Konan would come after her." Sakura blinked, then sighed. "And I really shouldn't have told you, huh?"

The older youth shrugged, sitting back. "Perhaps, perhaps not. I would have gleaned it elsewhere eventually."

A wrinkle formed between Sakura's brows. "Wonderful. I'm demanding a fee before I answer any of your questions from now on." Turning, she scowled at Itachi who had started to laugh. "I'm serious!"

"It's a good policy," Kakuzu retorted, though it almost sounded approving.

Hidan smirked and tugged Hinata closer. Then he frowned. "Hey, where'd that blond dipshit go?"

The group in the basement fell silent for a beat, listening for footsteps or mutterings that usually pointed the way to the pyro. Instead, there was silence... No, there was a faint buzzing. Coming from at least two phones.

Blinking, Itachi pulled out his cell phone from his jacket draped over the back of the couch as Sakura reached for her own phone. "Four text messages... from Kisame."

"Same, but from Deidara," Sakura reported, before giggling. "Do they say the same thing?"

"Possibly," Itachi muttered, leaning in to peer at her phone as he showed her his. After a moment, he sighed. "I'll be back."

The pink-haired girl grinned and shifted aside to let him up. "Have fun!" she chirped and ducked, laughing, as he tossed a pillow at her.

Grumbling, the Uchiha exited the room.

"What the fuck is going on?" Hidan demanded, looking confused. "Oy, what the hell did they say, Sakura?"

The girl grinned and winked at Hinata. "Hmm, it's funny shit, Hidan. I think I'll rate this at ten bucks. Pay up."

Hidan made a face. "Yeah, fuck  _that_  shit," he snapped, and nudged Hinata aside so he could get up. "I'll go see for my damn self."

Instead of looking offended, Sakura leaned back and shrugged. "Personally, I wouldn't want to get involved. It's been going on for at least since Dei left, and who knows how much longer it will go on for. Not even Itachi is immune, from what I gather."

Completely bewildered, Hinata shook her head at Sakura. "You're making that up."

"Nope."

Hidan shrugged and apparently decided to take his chances. After he was gone, Kakuzu smirked, looking  _entirely_  too pleased with himself.

Sakura was too busy being smug herself, but Hinata noticed. "Alright, I can only manage one smug person in the room at a time without asking. Sakura isn't talking. Kakuzu? Why do  _you_  look like someone handed you a hundred dollars?"

He smirked. "Toji-dono had been lying in wait since before I arrived. Two and two isn't hard to put together," he replied vaguely.

"Deidara's mom?" Frowning, Hinata blinked at the outraged gasp from the other girl.

"CHEATER!" Sakura declared, pointing at the one male in the room. But she broke down laughing as Kakuzu gave her an amused look. "But you didn't tell Hidan and he's probably locked into the lecture by now. You're horrible!"

Bright green eyes shifted from one girl to the other. "Hidan does not get special treatment," he replied, and smirked. "However, the bitching should be amusing later."

Laughing, Hinata traded glances with Sakura. "And you did warn him," she said, smiling widely. "His fault for 'getting involved'."

Sakura choked. "You're just as bad as Kakuzu!"

Kakuzu, for his part, only seemed more amused by this. "Quite a bit better than being  _good_ ," he pointed out.

"It's been very profitable," Hinata said straight-faced with her hands neatly folded in her lap.

Nearly falling over, Sakura held up her hands as she laughed. "I was joking when I said you were like him! Seriously, I don't think the world can sustain two of Kakuzu. We'd all be filing for bankruptcy in weeks!"

"Of course not," Kakuzu huffed. "It's too big a job for weeks." He smirked.

The pink-haired girl across from him shook her head. "Your mind is a scary thing, Kakuzu." But despite her words, Sakura was grinning.

He shrugged again. "Thank you, Sakura," he replied, and glanced up at the sound of the basement door opening.

The heavy thud of hurrying feet heralded Itachi and Kisame's return, though Deidara and Hidan were still missing. Sakura quirked a brow. "Welcome back," she offered, wondering where the two idiots were.

"So what are you guys up to?" Kisame asked as he ducked his head through the doorway. "We were having a great time hearing about the negative properties of society's accepted poison." Without blinking, he smirked at Kakuzu. "Hidan is useful."

Cringing, Hinata sighed. "I almost don't want to know... What did he do?"

"He opened his mouth," Itachi answered, sliding back into his spot next to Sakura. "Deidara didn't make it."

Sakura rolled her eyes before returning to her rather comfortable position cuddled up to her boyfriend. "He should have run faster."

Grinning at that, Kakuzu nodded. "They both should have."

"Kind of hard to run when that lady has a grip on your hair," Kisame snickered as he sat down next to Hinata, causing the slight girl to shift over towards Kakuzu. "We're going to have to watch out for cherry bombs for a while though," he added thoughtfully.

Leaning back against the couch cushions, Itachi grunted. "We lost the beer though."

Sakura huffed. "Dammit."

"Don't worry about it," Kakuzu drawled. "More for another night." He had no doubt that Deidara would eventually steal it back. Provided his mother didn't booby trap the stuff. Kakuzu wouldn't put it past the woman.

Hinata let out a squeak, before turning to glare at Kisame. "What was that for?"

"Pizza. What do you want?" Kisame answered with a grin. He also retracted his finger from where he had poked the girl in the ribs.

Wrinkling her nose at him, Hinata rubbed her side. "Barbeque chicken."

The blue-boy's grin hardly dimmed. "Sakura?"

The rosette girl blinked at him, brows furrowing. "Hamburger and black olives."

"You and your weird-ass cravings," Kisame drawled as he brought his phone up to his ear. "Guys? The usual?"

The others nodded as Sakura stuck her tongue out at the blue boy, and then grinned. "This is so great," she said, turning her gaze to meet Itachi's.

Her boyfriend raised a brow as across from her Kisame started joking with the presumed pizzeria's order person. "Good," Itachi responded, leaning in to kiss her behind the ear.

She scrunched up a bit, unable to stifle a giggle. "That tickles!"

Stilling, Itachi smirked and lifted his head, meeting the gaze of the shark. One black eyebrow went up as Kisame tilted his head.

"Kakuzu, five bucks; take the phone." At the money mongers quick nod, Kisame handed the phone over. Sharky took the few steps over to the couple's couch and grinned. "Ticklish huh?"

Surprised green eyes lifted, and then moved between the two. "Uh..." She  _really_  didn't like their expressions. There was only supposed to be  _one_  shark in the group.

Itachi's smooth response had her tensing. "Apparently," he said, one hand already inching around the girl's waist.

"Can't let that pass, now can we?" Kisame added, seating himself on Sakura's other side.

She apparently clued in, because she started to get up. "Oh, oh no you—"

Unable to help herself, Hinata burst out laughing as Itachi reached up, pulling Sakura down by the shoulders as Kisame grasped the pinkette around the waist. Between the two boys, Sakura made a smooth return to the couch. Itachi then moved his fingers to her sides as Kisame just smirked, still keeping his hold.

Squirming and trying to escape, Sakura had absolutely no choice but to laugh while she did so. "Y-you guys are... DEAD!" she managed between cackles.

Kakuzu, holding the phone, smiled. "No, sorry, just a tickle attack. … Yes, that's the address. Uh huh. Yes, ma'am. Thank you very much. Yeah, you too." He hung up. "Forty five minutes, Kisame," he informed the males attacking everyone's favorite pink-haired girl.

"Awesome," the shark responded, and winced when a particular screech was aimed right at his ear. "Oi."

Smiling, Hinata leaned back and looked at Kakuzu. "I'm glad you and Hidan don't do that," she murmured.

As if summoned, the basement door cracked against the opposite wall, the sound echoing down the stairs as Hidan and Deidara finally returned. "Fucking  _bitch_ ," Hidan swore, and yelped when Deidara punched the back of his head. "Oi!"

"That's my  _mom_ , un!" Deidara growled.

"Fuck," Hidan replied, cringing. "Sorry."

The two ticklers paused, Itachi because Sakura had managed a good clout to his ear and Kisame because Itachi's expression was just priceless. Unfortunately for Sakura, Kisame still didn't let go.

"Serves you right," she gasped, trying to catch her breath. "It's no fair bringing in Kisame!"

Deidara blinked. "... just don't ruin the furniture, guys."

Itachi blinked back. Kisame looked down. "This piece of trash?" they chorused. The couch in question was probably twenty years old, bought at a garage sale and barely still had its stuffing. The springs also squeaked.

"Yeah, that fucking piece of trash!" Deidara snapped.

Hidan plopped down in Kisame's abandoned seat. "Hey, goddess," he drawled.

Pulling her eyes away from the spectacle on the sagging brown couch, Hinata gave the albino a wary look. "Hey yourself."

He snorted and shook his head. "What's that look for?"

Thankful what he wasn't getting ideas from Itachi and Kisame, Hinata relaxed. "Nothing, false alarm, sorry," she admitted, snuggling down into his side.

Wrapping his arm around her, he kissed the crown of her head. "Okay. Hey, we order the pizza yet?" he asked, glancing at Kakuzu.

The money monger huffed at him and said nothing.

"Tight ass," Hidan grumbled.

Under his chin, Hinata was nodding. "Yeah, we did. Just before you came down."

"Nice," he replied, now speaking directly to her. "What'd we get?"

The girl chuckled. "Five bucks," she replied.

Hidan blinked, then grinned slowly. "Or... I could let you do the chocolate," he whispered in her ear.

Much to his amusement, Hinata let out a small squeak and hid her face against his chest. He could  _feel_  the warmth from her cheeks as she blushed. Mumbling into his shirt, she listed off the order, though she ended on a question. "What's the usual?" she asked, peeking up at him.

He smirked. "You'll see," he replied, giving her side a light pinch.

Kakuzu rolled his eyes; the mushiness was really starting to bug him.

Over on the other couch, Kisame had finally let go, and was currently backing away from the sudden onslaught of kicks from Sakura. "Holy shit, woman!" he protested, one hand over his crotch, the other out to defend as he stood. "Watch it!"

"Then get away from me!" she yelled, aiming one final kick at him before scooting closer to Itachi. She gave her boyfriend a glower. "And you knock it off too."

His eyebrows had shot up. "Indeed," he muttered, his hands raised up away from the pinkette.

Sniffing, she resettled herself, eying Kisame closely. Deidara coughed. "Alright then. Who's up for a game of cards, un?"

xXx

The group of boys pushed their way out through the tinted glass doors, Kiba rolling his eyes as they went. "That is the  _last_  time I'm sitting next to you during a horror movie," he was saying to Naruto. "I can understand a bit of freaking out—it's a horror flick—but standing up and  _yelling_  at the killer?"

"He should have left her alone!" Naruto protested loudly, ignoring the way the security guard eyed him as he did so. "Man, why do the hot chicks always die first?!"

Beside him, Shino sighed. "The most attractive ones  _are_  usually first to die," he admitted. "Why? Likely because they are the perfect representation of impurity, and today's society firmly impresses upon its people that purity will always succeed against evil. Thus, the 'impure' members of the group must die quickly and in gruesome ways so that—" He stopped, realizing the others were staring at him.

Naruto's face scrunched up. "Dude. It was a rhetorical question."

The other boy's head seemed to sink further into his jacket as he fell silent. Sai snickered and wrapped an arm around Naruto's shoulders. "Well! You asked."

Meanwhile, Kiba was sidling up to his best friend's side. "The most attractive huh?" he asked, one brow raised. "So you  _didn't_ think Tina was hot?"

It was  _impossible_  to tell if Shino had any expression at all, behind the high collar and the shades. "No," was all he said.

The smirk on Kiba's face said otherwise, but he just patted Shino on the shoulder. "Well, I did," he said and noticed another pair exiting the doors. "Hoy! What did you two think?"

The two boys looked up. Shikamaru shrugged and Sasuke grimaced.

"I grew tired of the idiocy halfway through," the young Uchiha muttered as he drew nearer. Shika meanwhile, stayed by the doors, holding it open for Choji who stepped through with a new bag of chips.

"Late summer horror film, Uchiha." Kiba sighed. "It's just for the breasts. No thinking needed."

"Sasuke-kun's not  _interested_  in breasts, we all know that," Sai inserted pointedly.

Black eyes swivelled over to the artist. "Not in fake ones anyway," he corrected.

"I don't want to know," Shika muttered, walking by the two black-haired boys, Choji following in his wake.

"Alas, Sasuke, your non-interest in  _boobs_  is nothing in comparison to Shikamaru's fettish," Sai said faux sadly as he turned toward the parking lot. "He's the tentacle guy."

Naruto cackled. "You know, man, I think that's just  _awesome_."

Ahead of them, Shika sighed.

Choji reached out and patted his shoulder. "There, there."

Getting impatient with the whole chitchat, Sasuke cleared his throat. "So my place or Choji's? We never decided."

The large boy grunted. "We can head over to my place," he offered, and munched on more chips. More food.

xXx

"I won't allow it." The words seemed to freeze the girl standing before him in her tracks, and her eyes narrowed. But all he could think was that he'd already lost his cousin; he didn't want Tenten running off to some school in another friggin' city or something. Besides, his family was more than capable of providing for her, if that was the issue.

Around them, other shoppers parted and slipped by them, one or two sparing an irritated glance at the pair. She just  _had_  to choose such a public place to bring up the topic of careers.

Crossing her arms and tilting her head, the slim brunette frowned at him. "Won't allow what exactly, Neji-kun?"

He decided that getting her irritated was probably  _not_ the best idea and quickly backtracked. "It's unnecessary, I mean," he said. "You don't  _need_ to do anything like that. Going away..."

Something he said wasn't good because he watched in dismay as her expression darkened. "I am going to assume you mean going cross country." Shifting her various bags into one hand, she linked her free arm with his to coax him along. "If that isn't what you're talking about... then it's best we don't talk about it here."

"Tenten, I'm  _serious_ ," he snapped, pulling away from her. He kept his voice down as he muttered, "I don't want you to just go and waste your time."

Growling, the girl shook her head and stalked off towards the doors. "I'm serious too. C'mon."

He frowned and followed her. "I don't see how this is unclear to you, Tenten," he pressed as they walked.

Gaze straight forward, Tenten navigated past the other couples and groups of people. "Enlighten me then. How is it a waste of time for me to enroll in university?"

"You won't need it later," he replied. "None of it. You'll be one of us, and we'll provide completely for you!"

Ahead of him, his girlfriend stumbled. Spinning around, Tenten stared at him. "First of all, I  _want_ to. It's not just that I think I need to. Second, 'one of us'? What are you? A cult now?"

He glared at her. "My clan, Tenten," he retorted. "You'll be a Hyuuga one day." Perhaps not the best way of telling her that he planned to propose once they were properly of age, but she must have expected this to happen eventually.

Tenten paled, then flushed, then paled again. "You're telling me... and this is coming up because you are dating me never mind pending _engagement_ , Hyuuga women are discouraged from pursuing a career?" She took two steps straight into his face. "Is that it?"

"... yes," he replied after a beat, regarding her warily.

Shutting her eyes, Tenten sighed and retreated. "The world doesn't work like that anymore, Neji."

He frowned at her. "It's tradition," he replied, albeit lamely. "There are many expectations placed upon my shoulders, especially now that..." He stopped, and sighed. "You must understand."

"We're not even in college yet!" Tenten blurted out, frowning at him. "What happens if we  _don't_  get married? I'm screwed then because I didn't go to school when I should have."

The Hyuuga sighed. "I had planned on... on proposing after graduation," he grumbled.

"Neji..." she breathed. "I..." Tenten broke off and shook her head. "I have to take care of myself too. I don't want to rely on anyone."

"It's what's  _expected_ ," he insisted, somewhat helplessly.

Smiling sadly, Tenten reached out and traced fingers down his cheek. "Of a Hyuuga, yes. But I'm not a Hyuuga."

He blinked at her, neither moving to stop her, nor encourage her. Stunned. "But... You would be. Could be?" Pause. "Please?"

Blinking rapidly herself, she took a deep breath. "Neji... I would marry you." She pressed her fingers against his mouth before he could respond. "But... I won't ever be a Hyuuga woman." Gazing up at him, eyes wide and liquid, Tenten whispered, "I will be myself and only myself for the rest of my life. Would you really want me to change that much to fit into your family's expectations?"

"I..." He swallowed as her hand fell away. "Yes. I could keep you, so yes."

Tenten blinked once, pain and sorrow streaking down in twin trails. "I can only stay with you... if I change?" she asked softly.

"You would always be you," he protested. "But you must be a Hyuuga too."

Free hand coming up, she brushed her cheeks. "I love you, Neji. I do." She took a deep sharp breath in, and held it for a heartbeat. "But I meant it, when I said I would not be a Hyuuga." Meeting his wide-eyed gaze, she smiled at him again. "I wouldn't be me."

"You're either a Hyuuga or you're not," Neji replied. "You can't just... Not be a Hyuuga. Tenten..."

At this, she dropped her gaze and nodded. "I know."

The boy resisted the urge to reach out, fists clenching. "So which is it? Will you be a Hyuuga or not?"

Tenten gasped, startled brown eyes he loved so dearly snapping up to his. "I... I can't answer that now, Neji!"

"You have to," he replied, hoping none of his emotions were showing through.

She stared up at him, her hand curled against her chest. "Neji... Please. Later."

Annoyance flared, turning into anger as he bit out, "Now, or  _never_."

The world seemed to stop as his girl bit her lip and closed her eyes.

"Never."

And for several heartbeats, the air was trapped in his chest. He let it out in a rush, feeling like she'd kicked him in the gut. The anger returned at her rejection, and he snarled out, " _So be it_."

He turned away and didn't look back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *rubs back of neck* Erm… apologies to the Neji-lovers out there. But if you read Sand Trails, you'd know we'd be making his life hard.
> 
> Sorry, this is a few days late. Better then never? *hides*


	4. Chapter 4

At the 'head' of the table, Genma clapped his hands together and grinned. "Okay guys, I'm not gonna make this drag out any longer than it needs to—I need a name for this place." Wincing at the scathing glare this engendered from Sasori and Kakuzu, the shopkeeper shrugged. "Hey, I wanna be a little more original than 'Shiranui's Wood'."

To the left, Kisame snickered. "How about shortening it? That'll be more appropriate." The shark got a pen thrown at his head.

Deidara cackled over in his seat, and opened his mouth to make some sort of remark that would have degraded the meeting into pure idiocy. However, Sasori reached out and shoved a donut in his mouth. "It must be an artistic name," he declared, so firmly that it was hard to tell if he was joking or serious.

Then again, this was Sasori, so the better bet would be the latter. Kakuzu huffed. "I don't give a shit what it's called," he said. "But hurry up and decide it."

Hidan yawned and tried unsuccessfully to stifle it. "Hell, why don't you give us some fucking useful input?" he demanded of his best friend.

"I'm shit with names." The 'shut up' was implied.

Arching one dark brow, Uchiha uttered in tones that brooked no arguing, "No puns."

Genma nodded. "As easy as those names are, yeah, I agree with Itachi. No puns. Not anything grand either. Even if we make it big," he waved a hand at the eye rolling, "I won't be able to sleep with myself." Tapping a drafting pencil on a blank sheet of paper, the lone adult pursed his lips. "'Solid Projects'?" he offered with a shrug.

"And that's imaginative?" Blue-boy objected. "May as well call us 'Chisel and Auger'."

"Charlie and his Angels, un," Deidara snickered.

Sasori kicked him under the table. "God, you're a fucking idiot," he said with a full body twitch.

"I'm no Charlie," Genma drawled, "and none of you are angels." Kisame threw the pen back at him.

Hidan huffed and went on before any of the others could be  _any more idiotic_. Which was a pretty big insult, seeing as it was  _Hidan_  that was thinking it. "Anyway. Fucking hell." The albino glanced over the others, brow furrowing as he thought.

"What about 'Shiranui Commissions'?" Kyuubi piped up, tilting his head.

The table fell silent for a beat as the various teens gave it a little thought. Genma shrugged. "I'm not sure about having my name in the title, but it's going down on the list."

"Heh, we could always shorten that down to Shir's Commies." This time, Itachi reached out and smacked Kisame over the head.

"Idiot," commented half the table.

The large blue teenager scowled at his so-called friend. "You got an idea? Cuz I already had one."

"Hnn..." Itachi glanced up as movement around the table caught his eye. A few of the other staff members had leaned forward. "'Stained Goods'?"

Kisame choked and knocked his head against the table. "Fucker. You're as hopeless as we are."

Sasori scoffed. "What about 'Woodwork and Iron'?" he offered. "Or 'Woodwork, Iron and Co.'"

Pencil scrawling over paper, Genma hummed. "I can work with that."

"'The Wood, Iron and Carbon, Kinetic Engineering Department'?" the big teen mused.

"The what?" Genma asked, blinking as he raised his head.

"The WICKED," Kisame replied with a grin.

Itachi shook his head. "You're reaching, Kisame."

"When is he not?" Hidan drawled, and inclined his head genteelly when Kisame flipped him off.

Across from him, Deidara shrugged. "Hey, could be worse, un." He hummed thoughtfully. "Er, maybe something to do with a forge? Like, 'Five Elements Forge' or something like that."

Humming, the shopkeeper nodded. "I do like the forge idea... only we're working primarily with wood, not metal." He still jotted the name down though. "'Joint Structures'?" From the groans that brought about, Genma chuckled, not bothering to record his suggestion.

"That sounds like a stripper bar or something," Kakuzu muttered, looking agitated.

"'The Workshop'?" Hidan asked, brows arching upward. He outright ignored his friend's addition to the conversation.

Sasori blinked at him. He hadn't expected the masochist to come up with a decent sounding idea at all.

"Keep it simple, hmm?" Genma mused. "Not bad, Jashin."

Kisame rubbed a hand over his hair. "What about, 'Konoha's Advanced Woodworking'?"

"What? Named after the class?" The pencil moved while Genma thought about it. "That would be interesting."

"Don't want us to seem like complete amateurs though," the blue-boy said with a grimace. "Or else it'll be more like fresh blood than varnish people will be expecting."

"Well, considering we'll frequently have Dei and Sasori in the same room," Hidan began.

Deidara threw the last chunk of his donut at the albino. "Shut up, you can't even fucking talk, un."

Hidan just grinned. Kakuzu resisted the urge to knock their heads together. Barely.

Over beside Genma, Kyuubi looked thoughtful. "'Avant-Garde Woodwork'," he offered up, fingers sliding around his cup of coffee to lift it. He drank as the others paused to consider it.

One more name was added to the list. "You know... we might actually get a name by the end of this meeting," the former teacher remarked cheerfully.

"Just for that," Kisame retorted. "I demand more coffee."

Kyuubi started to get up, but Deidara waved him off. "I'll run to the nearest coffee shop. Be right back, un."

"But we have a—" Kyuubi started. However, Deidara was already out the door, so he gave up and sat back down. "Never mind."

xXx

Thursday, around noon, was an admittedly slow time for Kakuzu's usual bar. Which meant little to no cash guarantees. But, he could always hope, and so he went in to set up.

A brief check around the place revealed exactly three other customers, one of which was a regular. One that was usually broke, and thus of no interest to Kakuzu. The second was an unfamiliar face, but he was very drunk, and eying the third customer unsubtly.

As for the last... Kakuzu recognized her. She had been the one with Hinata the second night the Hyuuga had joined them here. Likely as moral support, or so it had seemed. And... she looked very irked.

 _I don't think the dart board deserves that treatment_ , he mused, eyeing her work briefly.

He shook his head and turned to the rack of pool sticks, gaze sweeping over them before he selected one and returned to his usual table. It was then that he was within hearing range, and thus caught her muttering.

"Thyroid... Vestibular... Vocal... Misogynistic bastard... Traches... Cricold... Esophagus..."  _Thunk, thunk, thunk.._. Sharp little knives embedded themselves into the cork at each word. Two for the bastard comment.

Amused—and rather impressed—he set down the pool stick and circled the table to lean back against it, facing where the girl stood. He studied her for a few more moments before finally speaking up. "Want a game?"

"Vertebrae, C3."  _Thunk_. "No. I'm busy. C4."  _Thunk_. Pause. "I also didn't bring any spare cash. C5."  _Thunk_.

 _Good to know she recognizes my voice_. "Hm. That  _is_  an issue." He considered it a moment. "Free game. Just one."

The girl paused again, one hand upraised, blade glinting in the afternoon light. "I guess I could take a few minutes from studying," she muttered, the weapon slipping down and out of sight within her sleeve. "Who's breaking?" she asked, turning to address him.

He waved a hand dismissively. "Ladies first," he answered magnanimously.

Three seconds later, the opening shock went through the arranged balls, scattering the game pieces like leaves. "Stripes," she called, lining up her shot.

The indicated ball went down without a fuss.

However, she missed the second pocket and stood back from the table. "All yours."

He hummed noncommittally as he leaned down to shoot. A few turns followed, with the only communication centering on the game. Finally, though, they were down to three balls (besides the eight). "Who's your victim?" he asked as she got into position to shoot.

Casting him a flat look, his opponent paused. "My business. Not yours." She missed her shot.

He smirked at that and took his own, going on to sinking the eight right after and winning the game. "That bad, huh," he murmured, and rearranged them. "Another game?"

Brows furrowing, the girl scowled down at the felt. "I'll keep losing," she admitted, turning the chalk cube in her free hand.

"We won't play for money, then," he replied, and shrugged. "There isn't really anyone else here, so I can afford to do a few for free."

Her grip tightened suddenly on her cue stick. "Why do you do things for money?" she demanded abruptly, gaze rising up to match his. "We both know you don't need this." She waved a hand at the bar.

Green eyes narrowed slightly. "I'll answer your question, if you answer mine. Honestly," he replied flatly.

The Chinese girl stared back at him for a moment, before placing the cue down on the table. "I'm not that curious," she said and stalked back towards the dart board.

Kakuzu watched her until she resumed her demolition of the dart board, and smirked.  _Interesting_.

xXx

Sanctuary was a small twelve by ten room, separated from the noisy student masses by a flimsy hollow door. Still, when that barrier was shut and locked, it did dull the sounds from the hallway. The first day of class. So overrated. Even if it was a Friday.

Sakura sighed and dropped her backpack on the floor and fell into her bed. "Oh. My. God." And then. "Fuck my life."

Her roommate snorted. "Not the only thing I'd like to fuck," she said, though it was distracted. "Unfortunately, I have homework. They never gave us homework over the weekends in high school..."

"Who's 'us'?" Sakura demanded. " _You_  didn't get homework because you probably scared half the teaching staff."

Konan blinked up at her. "I'm not  _that_  bad," she protested. Paused. "Usually." Her blue head tilted. "... am I?"

Giving the other girl a vicious grin, the pinkette snorted. "Last year's sex ed assembly? Suigetsu. A  _spoon_."

"Spork," the blue-haired girl corrected,  _I think_. "And the bastard deserved it. You  _remember_  what he ended up doing to Hidan." She sniffed. "If I could go back and do it again, I'd  _make_  it a spoon, just to draw out the agony."

The light-hearted mood died at the mentioned of Hidan. "Yeah, well. There's a good reason why Sarutobi had Suigetsu banned," Sakura grumbled. "There's a lot of people who want that kid in pieces." She turned onto her back and glared at the ceiling. "Itachi won't tell me where he is, even though I'm sure Kakuzu makes regular reports."

Konan shifted her homework aside, deciding her roommate's babbling was more interesting anyway. "Really? You tried paying Kakuzu for the info?"

"Of course," was the reply, "but my boyfriend has apparently bought exclusive rights already."

"Figures. Cocksucker," Konan grumped. "If you  _could_  find him... what would you do?"

The pinkette growled and flung a plush toy-a penguin-across the bed. "What would I have to do or what would I like to do?" she questioned. "I'm swore an oath to let Hidan have the first five minutes with Suigetsu, no matter what. So I can't curb stomp him like I want to."

Konan shrugged- that was only fair. "What'd you like to do, then?"

"I'd be pretty boring." Sighing, Sakura crossed her arms. "Deck him a few times. Just normal head shots. After that, I'd give him to Itachi. He'll probably be more imaginative than me. But really, it ought to be Hidan."

The blue-haired girl nodded and sighed, leaning back on her hands. "True enough. How'd the little Hyuuga take it, by the way?"

The corners of the younger girl's lips turned up in a bemused smile. "She's been really something, these past few months. She moved out with him, did you know? And somehow she got Itachi to tutor her in jujitsu." Shaking her head, Sakura chuckled. "Would never have imagined she would be so... independent."

Konan hummed and picked up a spare sheet of paper, starting to fold it. "Good," she murmured. "Wouldn't want her tripping me up." She smirked at Sakura.

Who blinked and looked over. "Huh?" Oh, the eloquence in a single syllable.

"Never mind, Pinky," the older girl drawled, and snickered. "Just suffice it to say I still think you're orgasmically hot, and I'm considering threesomes in my spare time."

Across the room, Sakura groaned—and not in the good way. "My life is punctuated by perverts," she declared. And threw a pillow at Konan.

Konan ducked, and threw the folded paper in her hand back at the younger girl. It landed by her leg with a heavy thump, and when the pink-haired girl looked down, it was to see the piece of  _origami_. An origami rose.

"Oh!" She was already stretching out a hand towards it, before Sakura started having second thoughts. "This isn't coated with like... aphrodisiacs is it?"

Sniffing, Konan tossed her hair over her shoulder. "I don't  _need_  those. Once I have you convinced, it's just as good." She winked.

The younger girl rolled her eyes and picked up the paper flower. "Well thank you anyway. It's pretty." Sakura turned it around in her fingers, studying the complicated folds.

There was a beat of silence, then Konan smiled brightly. "Thank you! I've been practicing."

xXx

Kakuzu sat on the stool, a beer in front of him, when she entered. He'd already made his way through half a dozen opponents for the day, so it was a good haul. He could take a break.

Setting his drink down, he got up and approached her. "Want a game?" he asked, smirking faintly as he looked at the girl.

In answer, she sighed. "What's the fee?" He didn't miss her glance over to the new dartboard where a group of four were competing. Loudly.

"I'm on break, so you're in luck," he drawled, and held up a wad of cash pointedly. "You get off free."

Gaze hardly acknowledging his winnings, the girl frowned faintly at him. "Oh joy." And she headed over to 'his' pool table, grumbling something about male boasting.

Taking her attitude in stride, he followed, and soon enough they had a game going. "So?" he asked, during his turn.

She slanted a bland look his way. "Yes, fine. This is more interesting than the dartboard," she said with a shrug. "Hardly surprising."

Kakuzu chuckled and shot; his ball dropped into the pocket. "Not what I meant."

"Then you'll have to use your words, Kakuzu. I'm not a mind reader." Leaning against the wall, she watched from the sidelines until her turn.

He didn't respond until he was forced to concede the turn to her. "I meant, this man that you're so upset with... or have you forgiven him?" He was mildly curious about that. She wouldn't be nearly as interesting if she was that quick to forgive.

There was a sharp  _clack_  as she set down the chalk. "What about him?" she bit out, sighting down her cue.

"Who is he? What did he do?" he asked, watching her closely.

Lips thinning, she straightened without taking the shot, both hands coming up to hold the cue. "I'm actually surprised you don't know already," she told him, chin raised. "It's Neji." One of her brows arched up, and then she was leaning over and striking the cue ball. Her solid ball glanced aside from the pocket and she muttered a curse. "He broke up with me," she said, stepping away from the table.

He moved forward. "Hm. It's insurance, against chaos that may or may not come to pass. I have learned to be cautious."

There was a snort from the girl. "You're telling me that you don't enjoy conning most of the population out of their spare change? There are better ways to earn an income."

"True," he said, striking the cue ball. "But they're not  _nearly_  as entertaining, or informative."

As he passed in front of her to the other side of the table, he noted her pained expression. "Shit, I forgot you sold information."

He shrugged. That was true enough. "I can also be bribed to remain silent," he pointed out, a hint of mischief to his tone.

Again the girl snorted. "Maybe before it would matter," she said. "Doesn't now." She gestured at the nearly bare table. "You still want to continue this farce? You're winning by a mile."

"I enjoy the game," he replied. "The game isn't over until it's over." He straightened. "You want a drink?"

Across the table, lit in the flat glow of the hanging light, the girl heaved a sigh. "Yeah. That's a good idea." She placed her cue across the table. "What do you want? I may as well buy you a drink as an apology for putting up with my shit."

Kakuzu blinked. He sighed. "Wait here," he replied, and left before she could protest.

When he returned, two beer bottles held in one hand, she was rolling the chalk across the back of her fingers and studying him. "Is it just me, or are there several things odd about this situation?"

The large male held one out. "It's just you," he said.

She rolled her eyes, putting the blue cube down. "Thanks," she drawled, taking the offered bottle. The label warranted barely a glance before she twisted off the cap and took a long pull.

"You're welcome." He took a drink and then nodded to the game in progress. "Shall we continue?"

To his satisfaction, the girl placed the bottle down on the table's edge and rolled her shoulders. "Yeah, let's do that." The slim girl canted her head. "Your turn by the way."

He nodded and set his bottle down, before walking around the table and leaning over. A beat, as he shot, then, "What happened?"

"Oh for fuck's sake," she muttered. Taking a swig as he maneuvered around the table, she took her time before answering. "Our... future plans didn't match up."

She couldn't know how much that answer gave him, surely. "Ahhhh. The Clan."

From the twitch that she gave, he had hit the nail. And a sore spot. Because she didn't bother to respond and focused instead on picking at the foil on the bottle.

He finished his turn in silence.

When he failed to sink the eight ball, she moved. "Was it always so obvious?" she asked, studying the table.

"What, the Clan's loyalties? Or Neji's?" he asked, brow arching upward.

"Neji." She made an aborted attempt to sight down her cue, then sighed and literally draped herself over the table for the angle she wanted.

Kakuzu didn't bother keeping his eyes from roaming, though unlike Hidan, he wasn't going to advertise it either. "Yes. And no. When he was younger, especially so."

She struck and her solid miraculously sank. "I knew what his clan was like," she muttered, carefully coming off the felt, "but, I didn't think Neji..." Shaking her head, she fumbled her next shot and had to rescue the cue ball from the pocket.

He took it when she held it out, brow lifting. "Clearly, your hopes were faulty," he said, and turned to survey the table.

"It wasn't a hope," she muttered around the mouth of the bottle. "I just didn't think it would come up or matter at all."

"He's a Hyuuga. Of course it would," he said, placing the ball and then leaning down. A quick tap of the cue to cue ball, and it was rolling in the desired direction.

The two of them watched the eight ball roll obediently into the pocket. When he looked up, she was nodding, a frown pulling at her brows. "You're right," she said, placing her cue stick back on the rack. "Thanks for the drink, and the game."

"It was my pleasure," he returned dryly. "Heading home?"

Her eyes cut over to the dart board where the earlier competitors had been replaced by a pair of seniors. "I guess so. Don't want to cut into your working hours," she said with a wry smile.

xXx

On a Saturday morning, one was supposed to be able to sleep in. Completely covered from head to toe in thick winter blankets, not a care in the world. That was how the first day of the weekend was supposed to start.

Kakashi groaned and tossed his cell phone back onto the nightstand. If anything, he would have preferred to sleep through his minor hangover. Last night Genma had been buying drinks constantly. Apparently, he had finally decided on a name for his workshop. Bugger if Kakashi could remember it now though.

But no, at half past seven in the morning—Kakashi had squinted at the glowing red numbers when the ringing started—he just had to get a phone call.

The conversation went roughly like this:

"Sarutobi's whore house, do you have an appointment?"

" _Hatake—Kakashi. You have to meet me for lunch at Kali's House._ "

"Zab? What t'hell? Not even eight. No. Bye."

A growl followed this. " _If you don't, I_ _ **will**_ _tell Kurenai-sensei that it was_ _ **you**_ _that stole her fucking bra last semester. And if that's not good enough, I'll be talking to Tsunade-sensei about the sex ed assembly._ "

Kakashi froze with his finger hovering over the red button. With a sigh, he sat up, pushing his hair back from his face. "Fine,  _fine_. I'll be there. But there're more direct ways of showing Haku-kun you're open to dating men."

A beat, then a sigh. " _That's... both inaccurate and eerily close. No. He... he... he_ _ **conned**_ _me into a date. I think. Oh god._ "

"About fucking time," Kakashi grunted. "Congrats. Maybe he'll free you of your decade long celibacy record."

" _Kakashi, I'm being serious here!_ " Zabuza yelled into the receiver, forcing the other teacher to jerk the phone away. When he put it back, the Culinary Arts' teacher was speaking in a more controlled tone. " _You have to come so that it's_ _ **not**_ _a date._ "

Rubbing the crust from his eyes, Kakashi snorted. "You want me to be a third wheel. Zabuza, you're just in denial. The kid knows what he's doing and is obviously making the moves. As dating material, Haku is perfectly..." He broke off blinking as belated warning messages pointing out that he was talking to said boy's adopted parent blared through his brain. "Aaand I'm not going to finish that thought until I have caffeine in me."

There was a beat of silence, then a sigh. " _Just show up, Kakashi. I mean it. Or else. I'll even pay for your meal._ "

Well, with a rousing invitation like that, how could he refuse?

Several hours later, with three cups of coffee and one too-ripe banana in him, Kakashi strolled into the diner. "Yo."

"Good afternoon!" chirped a slim brunette—Kari—at the greeting station. "How many?"

"Hmm..." He craned his neck, scanning for a head of spikes and a shorter with longer hair. He found many such pairs. "There's three of us guys... the other two might be here already."

The girl dipped her head, finger trailing down over her paper. "I don't have anyone waiting for a third..."

Kakashi shrugged. "Then I'm the first here."

And he was. Though, he was barely seated when the other two entered.

"Ah, Kakashi-san!" Zabuza called, like he hadn't known Kakashi was going to show up. He made a beeline for the other male's booth.

Haku blinked and gave his guardian an unimpressed look, but followed anyway. "Hello, Kakashi-sensei," he greeted politely.

"Zabuza, Haku-kun," Kakashi nodded. "How's it going?" If the other teacher wanted to blame chance, then that was his show.

Haku bowed before sitting next to his guardian, whom had simply slid into the booth seat across from Kakashi. "Not bad. We were just coming out to get a bite to eat. And you?"

"Evidently, I decided that staying home today would be too boring," he answered, not glancing at Zabuza. "Ran out of food at home," he added, shrugging. It was true. Shopping hadn't happened for a while.

Zabuza nodded. "How about I pay for us all? We can talk. Been a while since I've seen you socially, Kakashi-san."

"Mhm. You never call me anymore," the silver-haired man replied. "How have the two of you been? Wasn't it Haku's birthday a few months back?" At the nod from the boy, Kakashi smiled. "Happy belated birthday, Haku-kun!"

Haku beamed back at the man. "Thank you. I'm eighteen now," he replied.

There was a pause as a waitress with blonde pigtails appeared, handing them menus and taking their drink orders. After she left, Zabuza cleared his throat. "So, what have you been up to, besides school, Kakashi-san?"

The grinning teacher waved a hand. "Nothing interesting," he demurred. "So! What did you get for your birthday? Anything good?" Kakashi ignored the glare from across the table.

"Oh, a few things... Not what I was hoping for, but I'm very patient," Haku replied with a sweet smile. "It's a shame you couldn't celebrate with us~"

Kakashi blinked. Shook his head.  _Damn... too much porn lately._  That couldn't have been a proposition. "Maaah, next year. Maybe post up a wishlist? Sometimes you really need to be blunt about it."

Haku giggled. "I was very blunt.  _Some_  people are just... hm... forgetful."

Resisting the urge to smack his head to the table, Zabuza grimaced and  _glowered_  at Kakashi.

Who arched a brow and shook a finger at him. "You forgot? As Haku-kun's primary provider, you really should pay attention to his  _needs_. Neh?" Kakashi leaned back as the waitress appeared with their drinks: coffee, coffee, tea.

"Have we had enough time to decide?" the waitress asked, head canted and smile in place.

Haku smiled at her. "The special, please," he requested.

Zabuza heaved a sigh and glanced at the menu. He'd been too busy being pissed at his friend to look. "Uh, burger and fries."

Across the table, Kakashi rolled his eye. "Beef or chicken, Zab? They've got both. You know what? Make that two burgers, one of each. Whatever he won't have, I'll take it."

The girl—Haruka—raised a brow, but nodded at Zabuza's grunt. "Great, I'll be back with your orders in a few. Thanks!"

"Thank  _you_ ," Haku said as she left, and then smiled at his companions. "Now. Where were we?"

Zabuza's head met the table this time.

xXx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm terrible at this updating gig. I'm just really glad Kakuzu isn't in charge of my schedules. My kidney wouldn't be with me anymore in that case.
> 
> Also - I'm not going to subject anyone to anymore of my half-assed chapter titles.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if there are mistakes in here - I'm of the mind that it's better for me to just post this and not dawdle on it any further!

"So, what's it like?" Taka Karin asked excitedly as they were left to their own devices. It was first period Calculus on Monday morning, the second week of school, but most had already settled into their new routines. She was especially interested in the Hyuuga's new residence with everyone's not-so-favorite Jashin.

Hinata looked up, blinking. "What is what like?"

The redhead tossed her hair over her shoulder. "Living with the Zombie Brothers!" she chirped. "Is Chuushin really scary? How do you survive?!"

"I pay rent on time and I don't eat the chili surprise," the other girl answered calmly. "They're fine."

"It is unnecessary for you to stick your nose into Hinata's business," Shino added from the girl's other side. "Why? Because it's rude."

Karin wrinkled her nose at him. "I'm just curious, geez."

xXx

Second period Biology was going pretty much as expected...

"Naruto-kun!" Iruka-sensei called across the room. "It's wonderful that you're so excited to share information during class, but it better be about the diagram on the board." A sharp tap of chalk on board reinforced the threat.

Jumping, the blond snapped his head around. "Hai, sensei!" Then his eyes actually focused. "Is that someone's  _wanger_?"

A couple seats behind him, Deidara burst into loud laughter as the teacher frowned at the younger blond. "Oh yeah, it totally is, un!" he cackled.

Naruto's lab partner—Shino—frowned at him. Though, considering his choice of dress, no one could tell. "Naruto-kun..."

Pointing at the board, Naruto swallowed his words and blinked at his friend, arm lowering. "Yeah?"

"Perhaps it's best to not press your luck," Shino replied. "Why? Because Iruka-sensei is glaring at you."

And Deidara was  _still_  laughing.

xXx

Third period Art...

"Shikamaru! … NARA, WAKE UP!"

Also as expected.

xXx

Meanwhile, in third period Physiology...

"Ne, ne, Tenten-san's absent!" Tobi squawked, waving his arms around. "Hey, Neji-chan! Where's your  _girlfriend_?"

The rest of the class was treated to a stony silence. And if that wasn't answer enough, the teacher then went on to explain that Tenten had dropped the class.

Haku blinked at the information, and curiously eyed the Hyuuga as Fukumen continued to pester him.  _Trouble in paradise?_  he mused, then shook his head. Wasn't his business.

xXx

The start of fourth period found Kiba shaking his head and grinning. "Naruto, there is  _no way_  Iruka-sensei had a chalk drawing of  _that_  on the blackboard. I had his class last year; I'd remember shit like that."

"Hey! I know what a wang looks like!" This outburst had several heads turning, but it wasn't like the blond cared. "Sensei may have said it was a mollusk, but that's a friggin' shellfish."

"Hai, hai," Kiba drawled, patting his friend's shoulder. "Anyway, catch you later! Hey Sasuke."

The black-haired Uchiha nodded in greeting as they passed each other in the doorway. "Hey."

"Sasuke-teme! Guess what Iruka-sensei was teaching us all about this morning!"

Something had to be said for the sixth sense of the Uchihas, because Sasuke quickly interrupted. "Don't care. I'm hungry. Move it."

xXx

"... could expand the application to include- oh, hello, Ino!" Sai blinked innocently up at the blonde girl as she came across he and Deidara huddled together.

She propped her hand on her hip, standing there with her tray in hand. "What  _are_  you two up to?" she demanded suspiciously.

Deidara kicked Tobi under the table when the mouthy male opened said mouth to answer her. "Games, un." He grinned. "Pervy games."

Predictably, the girl's nose wrinkled. "Ewww. Don't want to know!" she said, and took a seat next to Tobi. "If you touch me, you gross little pervert, I'll sic Sakura on you."

To her disappointment, Tobi just looked delighted. "Bawww, Sakura-chan! Tobi would very much like to see her again..."

 _Ino_  punched him out this time.

xXx

Absently, Tenten listened to the bald teacher call out directions, but really, all that mattered to her was that in ten seconds, she was going to run her heart out. Maybe leave it somewhere behind her.

She had her soul-deep talk already. Forty-five minutes of anger, grief, desolation, and self-doubt.

Hinata had been surprised to find her waiting outside the Hyuuga's Social's class at the end of period two. They ended up to the roof where Tenten talked until her throat was raw.

Hours later, she still felt like a mess, but at least in PE, she could try not to think.

She also hadn't seen Neji all day.

xXx

Sixth period passed in relative quiet. When Deidara spotted the two girls wandering onto the quad, he raised an arm. "OY! Saved a seat, un!" he called out cheerfully. It was his free period, and he had nothing better to do... Besides, Hidan had wrangled promises out of him to keep an eye on the girl.

And anyway, she wasn't all that bad to hang out with. Her companion—Tenten or something, Deidara thought—was less familiar to him, but he had no objection to her presence either.

After a quick word to the taller girl, Hinata waved back. "Coming!" she called out.

They had taken two steps towards him, when a wail cut through the air. "Oh Tenten! My heart aches for you! I have denounced-"

Pale and evidently pissed, the Chinese girl had turned and slapped a hand over the bowl-cut boy's mouth. "Lee! Hush!" And then she half-dragged, half-marched the flailing boy out of the quad.

Deidara blinked after them, then gave Hinata a curious look, before shrugging it off. "Loooppyyy, un," he drawled. "Sup?" He waved for her to make herself comfortable.

Sighing, the Hyuuga girl sat down. "Lee is... always very enthusiastic," she said with a pained expression. Looking around, Hinata set down her lunch box. "It's strange not having everyone here."

"Right?" he said, poking at his food. "Last year, Itachi and Kisame sat with me at lunch, un. Gonna be weird without them." He paused to take a bite, then talked through it like a pig. "Well, least it's only a year!"

Humming, Hinata nodded. "Yes, and then you'll be gone, Tenten too." She sounded a little morose actually.

"Yeah, but you'll have your other friends, un," he replied. "Whatchya got to eat?!"

xXx

The peace was broken in seventh period, when Naruto got into a fight with Neji. It was brief, but the blond got in a good face hit, while Neji got the younger boy in the stomach. Kakashi and Choji dragged them apart before it went any further, and walked them to the office.

Sarutobi was less than amused. " _What_  brought this on, Naruto-kun?" he asked with a sigh.

"The bastard was saying mean stuff about my friends!" Naruto said, scowling.

The principal's brows lifted. "Oh? And what would that be?"

Naruto slumped in his seat and mumbled something. "Hoh? I can't hear you. My old ears are really very bad," Sarutobi began, and bit back a smile at the blond's sulky pout.

"He said Hinata was a disgrace, and he didn't care what happened to Tenten! All I asked was why I didn't see them hangin' out anymore!" the blond growled.

Sighing, the principal wondered why the students couldn't go at  _least_  another week before stirring things up.

xXx

Walking into her eighth period, Hinata blinked. Was that... "Tobi-kun?"

The boy in question was one of five other students, and he grinned at her widely. "Hinata-chaaan," he sang out in greeting. "Come sit with me! We can be  _buddies_!"

Not really seeing a reason not to, Hinata nodded and sat down in the desk next to him. "Politics?" she asked hesitantly. "I didn't expect to see you in here."

"Ehhhh? Why not?! Tobi's a good politician!" the boy protested, flailing his arms.

Biting her lip to stop from smiling, the girl held out her hands, making calming motions. "I'm sure you are!" she agreed, "but you weren't here last week. Did you just transfer in?"

He nodded. "Mmhm. I had a different class this period, but decided I wanted to change. It was too noisy!"

Frowning slightly, Hinata took a guess. "Woodworking?"

"Naaahhh. Drama II," he replied, leaning back in his seat. "Naruto-kun and Kiba-kun kept yelling, and Sai-kun was just egging them on all the time! Tobi didn't like it much. Tobi likes quiet better."

Hinata blinked again. It made sense when she considered the people Tobi usually dealt with. For all her deadly temper, Konan wasn't a loud one, nor Pein. Zetsu was as talkative as Shino... Tobi himself was probably the 'Naruto' of his group. Loud and energetic.

"I like quiet too," she said, arranging her papers and textbook between them. "Have you had a chance to look over the material from last week?"

He nodded quickly. "Yup! Just a glance, though."

Pushing some of her notes over, Hinata smiled at him. "Better take a better look. Kurenai-sensei runs on a strict lesson plan."

"Haaiii!"

xXx

" _Have you seen her yet?_ " Gaara's voice asked in his ear. " _You'll tell me when you do, right, Kankuro?_ "

Rolling his eyes, the older brother waved absently at the scattered farewells he received as he left his new workplace. "Yeah, yeah. I will." He paused as he held the door open for another staff member-she mumbled a quick thank you and darted inside. "You know, last I heard, she was expecting  _you_  to call  _her_."

Gaara growled at him. " _I know. I will. Soon. I just wanted to make sure- well. Yeah. Anyway, have you settled in alright?_ "

"Uh, yeah. The apartment's okay. Smaller, not as well kept as home, but it's my first place, so I won't complain." Kankuro unlocked his car door and slipped inside. "How's school?"

" _School. For some reason, Sakon and Ukon have decided that I'm approachable. They won't leave me alone now._ " That was quite a load of irritation in his brother's voice!

Grinning, he started up the car and cranked the heat. "You mean they harass you or just want to be friends?"

" _They harass me. Constantly. I'm tempted to dump their lifeless bodies in the desert._ " Pause. " _Except Temari keeps following me around._ "

Kankuro snorted. "You two are hopeless without me there. Next time I talk to Tem, I'm telling her to get a boyfriend." He checked over his shoulder. "Hey, I gotta go. Need to find something to eat."

His brother sighed. " _Yeah, okay. Later_." The call ended.

Shaking his head, he dropped his cell into the cup holder and buckled up. Gaara still needed to learn social graces. Kankuro snorted. Well... maybe after college.

xXx

Tenten was on her second beer when the guy-Haru-came up with the nerve to ask for a second time if she wanted to play pool with him. Considering there were at least two other college boys watching him ask, it wouldn't be a private game. He had at least that on his side.

Shaking her head, the Chinese girl refused him again. "Sorry, Haru. I'm still going to pass."

He bit his lip and took a breath. "Look, you just look bored over here," Haru said in a rush. "Are you waiting for someone? I'm sure they wouldn't mind if you just entertained yourself while you wait." His words had the rehearsed cadence of a memorized line.

Blinking, she regarded him for a moment. "I'm not waiting for anyone," she finally replied.  _I'm not... at least I don't think so_. "Just relaxing."  _By myself, in a bar, drinking. Oh yeah, I'm definitely the rare gem_. "Have fun, Haru."  _Without me_.

The shaggy-haired teen looked over his shoulder at his friends. One of them must have made some kind of signal, because Haru's jaw was set when he turned back. "Maybe just hang out? I'll buy you another drink."

 _I've been here for over an hour and I'm only just starting my second beer, do I look like I want to get drunk_? She shook her head and tapped a fingernail against her small tablet. "I've got stuff to do. Please, Haru, just drop it, okay?"

Kakuzu was suddenly sliding onto the seat beside her, scowling at the kid like the money monger was personally insulted by Haru's existence on the planet. "She means get lost," he growled, and motioned for the bartender to give him his usual. How the large male had gotten so close without either of them noticing was a mystery.

Not that his presence wasn't appreciated... but his timing was awful. Tenten groaned and glanced up at the teenager. Yup, there was hurt, bruised pride, and confusion stamped all over the boy's face. How had he survived to college?

"You could have said you had a boyfriend!" Haru complained before hurrying away.

Tenten dropped her face into her free hand. "Damnit."

"Idiots," Kakuzu muttered, taking his drink and opening up a tab. "Why are you letting him pester you?"

"He wasn't," she replied, shaking her head when the bartender asked if she wanted another. "Really," she insisted when her... acquaintance gave her a skeptical look.

He scoffed and sipped his beer. "Looked like it. Why the hell d'you think I came over?"

Shrugging, she glanced over at the three college guys who were clustered around one end of the pool table. "Because you wanted to con him into a game?"

Kakuzu gave her a disappointed look. "No. But now that you mention it..." He gave her a sinister smirk and got up.

"Don't use me as a bargaining chip," Tenten muttered, and turned back to her reading.

Ten minutes later, he returned to his seat, counting his newly acquired money as the boys decided to call it a night. "That was a surprisingly profitable outcome. You should choose my victims more often."

She snorted, scrolling down to read the next page. "Ah, but then I'd have to ask for a cut. And you wouldn't like that."

"Business is business," he replied vaguely, and pocketed the cash. He eyed her in silence for a moment. "Homework?"

"Yup." Turning her head, she arched a brow. "Are you in college now or freelancing?"

"College, mostly," he replied, and shrugged. "Couple jobs."

Tenten shook her head. "You're working and going to school?" She tilted the tablet for a moment. "I wouldn't be able to stay sane."

The older teen hummed thoughtfully as he sipped his drink. "It's... it makes things very full," he admitted.

"Do you  _sleep_?" she asked, half laughing.  _Full, he says. I can barely keep my head straight this semester_. Then again, Neji had certainly turned everything upside down.

"Sometimes," he deadpanned, and took a pull of his beer. At her look, he smirked. "Not a lot."

Saluting him with the bottle, Tenten took another sip. "Hmm, where's Hidan? Isn't he usually with you?"

"Work," he replied with a shrug. "He works at the junk yard Sunday through Thursday." He slanted a glance her way. "Haven't heard as much from Hinata?"

 _Touché_. Tenten shook her head. "We've been talking about other things," she admitted. "Mostly about her job, school... and my situation."

He hummed in understanding. "Your ex?"

"Yeah." One more pull from the bottle emptied it. "You were the first I told, funny enough."

 _Blink_. He tilted his head. "Aa... really? Interesting."

She snorted. "Not that interesting. I'm trying to get over him; beating my head against a blunt object seemed to be the best way."

"No, generally all that does is get you hospitalized," he replied, smirking, and finished off his beer.

She mimed throwing her bottle at him. "Not what I meant," she grumbled, though she was still smiling.

Shrugging, he got up. "Game?"

Casting her eyes down to the tablet, Tenten bit her lip. The reading wasn't due until Thursday and she was more than halfway through, despite the interruptions. "Sure." And maybe this time she'd actually win.

xXx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dunno if I've mentioned this - but we're just going to ignore those rules about underage drinking. Beer seems to just creep into these chapters.


	6. Chapter 6

Choji's birthday wasn't technically for another week, but even so, he already had a present. Ino had brought it to school and given it to him, and it'd spent half an hour in Choji's locker before his mother got there to pick it up.

However, cute as the chinchilla was, Choji had…  _no idea_  how to care for it. And so, he'd approached his best friend for help. Unfortunately, Shikamaru was nearly as clueless as the Akamichi.

Luckily, Shikamaru also had internet access at home. So, after several hours' worth of research, the boys had not only decided what food they needed to buy, but where to get it.

The day after that, with the pet-store provided food Ino'd given Choji almost gone, Shikamaru was stepping through the door of the pet shop nearest his house. He distantly noted the clatter of the bell over the door, even as he started scanning the nearest shelves for food. The animals were ignored as he bypassed them, until he finally stood before a row of the different varieties.

 _None of these are the brands we looked up_ , he noted immediately, brow twitching in annoyance. It was so like Ino to be  _this much_  of a nuisance, even when she was being kind. "Troublesome," he complained under his breath, and reached out for one of the food packets to examine it.

"Since when did you have a furball?" asked the sudden large shadow to his left. The large blue hand that went along with the large blue shadow reached out and tilted the bag in his grasp. "Really?"

Shikamaru frowned and turned slightly to look at the older male. "It's Choji's," he answered. "Ino got him a chinchilla for his birthday."

Dark brows winged up. "With what money?" Kisame stepped back, eyes scanning over the different brands. "How old is it?"

"Um." Shikamaru paused as he tried to remember if Ino had said how old it was. "It's really young?" was what he managed. He really should have thought to ask her. Or Choji. Or someone who would  _know_.

Kisame smacked a hand over his face. "Why are  _you_  buying the food then? No wait, I know." Fingers parted as the shark smirked at Shika. "Ino got the fuzzball and you're supplying the food. Two-part gift."

Shikamaru soon found the feed bag in his hands substituted with another—"Don't feed it treats on a regular basis; not good for it"—and was trying not to sneeze at the bundle of cloth-wrapped hay that was tucked into his shopping basket.

"Tell Choji to get his ass over here," Kisame rumbled. "We've got a few books on care and training... Tell me he's already got a cage."

Wrinkling his nose, Shikamaru nodded. "Yeah," he said, trying not to breathe lest he sneeze all over everything. "Ino got one."

"At least there's that." The shark frowned. "He knows they take dust baths right? They only drink water, not swim in it."

"He will now," the genius muttered, finally getting his nose sufficiently under control. He peered at the other boy. "Well, what else is there for me to tell him?"

Shaking his head, Kisame muttered, "Bet the blonde bought the thing cuz she thought it was cute." He headed towards the book section, waving at Shikamaru to follow. "Get him a book first. And you can tell him that he's got fifteen years of happiness coming to him. The buggers are pretty fun for rodents."

"This is so troublesome," Shikamaru complained, but followed Kisame anyway.  _It's going to leave a hole in my wallet so wide I'll have to buy a new one_.

Almost as if he read his mind, Kisame glanced back, lips stretched back in a wide smirk. "At least you don't  _own_  it; chinchilla's aren't easy. Did Ino say how much it was?"

"No, but she said we would both owe her for a while," Shikamaru replied blandly. "I'm debating on hiding somewhere, actually."

Kisame snorted. "Warning you right now: if it's as long as I think it is, I'm charging you rent."

Shikamaru arched a brow. "Well, I suppose I can at least count on you to be fairer than Chuushin."

Barking out a laugh, Kisame turned and slung an arm around Shika's shoulders. "That's true." They continued on towards the bookshelves by the cashier. It didn't pass Shikamaru's notice that Kisame shortened his stride.

The genius slanted a glance toward the other boy, shifting his grip on the basket. "So anyway. Thanks for your help with this. Ino half-baked this idea from the get-go."

"It's my job," Kisame replied, and Shika felt the accompanying shrug. "Just tell Choji to visit. The internet's good, but not for everything."

Fair enough, the younger supposed. "Alright," he said, as they drew to a stop.

"So…" Kisame withdrew his arm, plucking a black and beige book from the rack. "You busy this weekend?" he asked, stepping behind the till. The bar code scanner beeped as the book slid through. A picture of a chinchilla gazed up from the laminated cover.

"Just for a while on Friday afternoon," Shikamaru answered. "The rest of my plans—mainly napping—are loose and can be shifted."

The corner of Kisame's mouth twitched up. "Lazy ass," he said then added, "Hey, you interested in astrology?" The food stuff went under the red line in a quick series of beeps.

"Astrology?" Shikamaru echoed, brows lifting. "Well, I suppose so. Stars are almost as good as clouds."

 _Snort_. "How about this Saturday afternoon? There's a special on the Hubble at the Dome that I've been wanting to check out for weeks."

Shikamaru tugged out his wallet. "Don't you work Saturday?" he asked, curiously.

Shifting, Kisame coughed. "Not this time. Manager basically slapped the flyer on me and told I was working Thursday this week." The grin returned.

"Ah." Shikamaru returned the smile after a beat. "Well, sounds like it'll be interesting. Count me in."

"Excellent!" The genius couldn't tell if Kisame was that enthusiastic because of the date, the telescope, or the sale… He settled for the telescope. "Thirty-seven sixty. You want a bag?"

"Yeah, a bag would be appreciated," Shikamaru answered dryly, handing over the cash. "Thanks." He grinned a little.

xXx

Leaning back, Itachi nursed his beer and watched as a slightly flushed Kyuubi argue the advantages of a program-perfect machine over the questionable skill of hand-carving. With Sasori.

Needless to say, that wasn't going well. The younger redhead was the more sober of the two. Not by much, but enough for the sake of the argument.

Hidan would be leaving soon, it was already past midnight. Kakuzu and Deidara were probably going to bunk over, seeing as Genma had made a point of buying a few good futons for that purpose. Itachi was tempted to bunk down himself, just for the experience. The last time the Akatsuki had bedded down in one place, in the morning Hidan was discovered to be bleeding, Kisame was covered in glitter and mint lace, and Deidara was missing eyebrows—though considering what the pyro did in his waking sober hours that was no surprise.

Speaking of Deidara… "—can't understand the true meaning of  _art_ , yeah! You blood-headed freak!" the blond roared at Sasori, having not-so-neatly inserted himself into the argument occurring.

"Art?!  _ART_? You can't speak of art, you fool," Sasori snarled furiously, hand twitching uncomfortably close to a nearby protractor. "Those ridiculous explosions of yours are just that— _ridiculous_."

"They're  _art_ , I say!  _ART_!"

And thus the argument went. At least Kyuubi had the presence of mind to snatch the protractor away from Sasori before the other redhead could use it on his blond rival.

"Why don't you fuckers shut the fuck up and stop fucking talkin' about useless  _shit_?" Hidan called from his seat beside Kakuzu, and threw a beer can at Sasori.

"Fuck you, Hidan," Deidara snapped back as Sasori gave a full-body twitch.

There was a groan from Itachi's left. "What's really sad," Kisame began, "is that you idiots argue about this so much, that nothing  _original_  comes up anymore. Think up something new for fuck's sake."

Deidara flipped him the bird. "Fuck you, Sushi-breath," he shot back.

Sasori lunged for the protractor.

Kyuubi yelped and kicked him in the stomach before scrambling across the room near Itachi and Kisame. Hidan had leapt to his feet, meanwhile, and grinned widely as he went to egg Sasori into a blinding rage. Because it amused him.

"They're really violent," Kyuubi muttered, in a Captain Obvious moment.

Flipping two fingers at the ever-watchful Kakuzu, Itachi placed his bets. "Of course they are."

Over by the table, Kisame was rescuing a six pack of cans. He tossed one beer to Kakuzu and another to Kyuubi and freed a third for himself as he sat down, the cans clinking to rest at his feet. "Aah, ring-side seats!"

As he danced out of reach of the albino and the psychopathic redhead, Deidara's expression contorted into one of disgust. "Man, fucking crazy, un," he complained, and tried to steal Hidan's vacated seat.

However, one look at Kakuzu and he was taking a chair by the wall instead. "Ten on Sasori!" he chirped to the money-monger, who sniffed and nodded.

The one redhead who was sitting down, frowned and blearily tried to make sense of the younger crowd he found himself in. "But… who is he fighting?" Wasn't Sasori's opponent Deidara?

Black eyes watching the artist in question, Itachi shrugged. "Could be anyone at this point." Which was marginally true. Sasori in a berserker rage would attack anyone who didn't readily agree with his artistic views. And considering no one in the group would agree, they were all fair game.

"Could be," Kisame seconded, "but it'll probably be Hidan, since he's right in Sasori's face."

"Taking a bet?" Kakuzu asked the shark as Hidan ducked a wild swipe and rammed Sasori in the stomach with his head.

Silver eyes squinted for a moment. "Sasori bleeds first, but Hidan will get stabbed. Twenty."

Kakuzu smiled widely. "Kyuubi?" he asked, obviously already mentally counting his winnings.

"No cash with me," he answered quickly, sobering through necessity. Very carefully, Kyuubi placed his unopened can down on the cement. "This happens… regularly?"

Itachi 'hnned' as Kisame nodded. "Not as often as we'd like. It's been months since a good brawl…" he trailed off, before grinning widely. "Maaan, when Pinky was out-of-town and Uchiha here was indisposed, both Dei and Hidan were in the hospital. Oh, we got shit for that! Remember, Itachi?"

Judging from the flat glare the shark got in response, yes, Itachi did remember.

Kisame coughed and settled back to watch the idiots still swinging at each other. He was still grinning.

Only a moment later, Hidan got in a solid hit, breaking Sasori's nose and drawing, as Kisame had predicted, first blood. With a shriek, the redhead tackled the albino, the latter of which rolled them immediately, and Deidara relocated himself.

"Kick 'is ass, danna!" the blond crowed ecstatically, and winced when Sasori headbutted Hidan.

There was a brief pause as both boys shook their heads at the attack, likely both knocked senseless, and then they were at it again.

Deidara smirked at Kyuubi. "Just wait till you see Kakuzu get into it. Whenever he does, it's a lot more bloody!"

Drunken flush fading away, the older man glanced from the bouncing blond to the staggering college boys. One of whom had his lower face covered in blood. "Good thing we have bleach around here," he murmured.

"And beds. And bandages. And lots of splinting material," Kisame added.

"Sunnova—" Hidan yelped out when Sasori got him in the balls. "You nasty cheating little  _shit_!"

Sasori punched the larger male in the side of his head when Hidan chomped down on his arm. Deidara huffed. "Aw, c'mon, grow a pair!" he yelled angrily. "Biting's for girls, un!"

Releasing his grasp on the other boy, Hidan scrambled back, scowling. "Wanna join us, bitch? Shut the fuck up!" And he lunged in at Sasori again.

On the side, Kyuubi was cringing. "How is Jashin still… functioning?"

Kisame only lifted his hands and shrugged.

"He might have marginally blocked it," Itachi mused.

"Probably," Kakuzu grunted, eying them. "Step it up, Hidan, I'm betting on you, and if you make me lose, I'll get you back."

Hidan flipped Sasori over his shoulders, sending the redhead slamming to the ground. "It's not as easy as you'd think! This little fucker's a  _crazy_  bastard!"

"Just  _win_ ," Kakuzu retorted, and scoffed.

"Hidan's life is  _so_  hard," Kisame observed before gulping down half his beer. "Then again," he murmured, lowering the can, "if Hidan loses, that means  _Deidara_ wins the bet."

Hidan let out a cackle abruptly, a split second after Sasori stomped him in the stomach. The albino rolled away and stumbled to his feet, too slowly. Sasori jumped onto his back, a pencil in hand.

"Where did he  _get_  that?!" Deidara yelped, diving behind Kakuzu's couch (because surely Sasori wouldn't be stupid enough to attack  _Kakuzu_ ).

Howling when the psycho stabbed the pencil into his shoulder, Hidan grabbed the guy and flung him off, and Sasori slammed into the wall not five feet from them. He grunted, breath knocked from his lungs, and Hidan punched in his direction.

Instead of hitting the redhead, Hidan's fist made a shallow dent in the wall right beside his head. He giggled. "Ouch."

Eying his fist, the redhead hummed. He looked toward Hidan's shoulder, where a familiar bloody pencil was sticking out. "That looks like it hurts," he observed mildly, as if he hadn't just put it there.

"Oi! You two done then?" Kisame called out. "I've got the last three beers!"

Draining the last of his own can, Itachi briefly considered another before shaking his head and reaching for a bottle of water instead. Hangovers with Deidara in the same city block wasn't worth the pain.

"Beer sounds… fuckin' awesome," Hidan said, pushing away from the wall as Sasori exhaled and slid down to sit with his back to it. "Want some, freak?"

"Hmph. Please and thank you," Sasori snapped back, not getting up.

Hidan grunted, reached up, and pulled the pencil out. Luckily, it hadn't been in that deeply, and so when he tossed it aside, his blood didn't start gushing out of his body or anything. Which was good.

Rolling his shoulder carefully, the albino stumbled over to Kisame and snatched two of the beers, turning to toss one to his opponent. Sasori almost dropped it in his fumble to latch on. Hidan flopped into his previous seat next to Kakuzu. "Ain't over, you fucking whacko," he said, and gulped his drink.

Sasori rolled his eyes, sniffed, and opened his own can.

Kyuubi watched in awed interest as both Itachi and Kisame flicked significant glances at Kakuzu. Itachi raised a brow. Kisame tilted his head. The blue-boy, Kyuubi noted, was fairly vibrating.

"Neither won," Kakuzu scoffed.

Deidara scowled. "Fuck you, un! Danna won! Clearly!"

"I ain't dead and I ain't on a stretcher, pyro-fucker," Hidan growled back. "So he didn't fucking win."

"You're just picking favorites—eek!" Deidara scrambled away from their couch when Kakuzu started to get up. "Okay, oh—fuck, okay! Neither won, un!"

Narrowing his eyes at the fool, Kakuzu sat down again. "There a beer left?"

Kyuubi instantly handed over his as Kisame leaned forward.

"First blood  _and_ stabbed, bookie," the shark said grinning. "I never said one had to win."

Kakuzu glared at him, but got out his wallet. He handed a twenty over, and then elbowed Hidan hard in the ribcage. His best friend let out a whoosh of breath and doubled over, nearly spilling his beer as he wheezed for breath. "Cunt."

"Cocksucker," Hidan managed breathlessly.

Casting worried glances at the seeping wounds, Kyuubi frowned and cautiously stood. He made calming gestures at the several pair of eyes that snapped up to him. "I'm just getting the first aid kit, that's all."

As the older redhead left the room, Kisame chuckled. "Who wants to bet that Genma  _knew_ this was going to happen and that's why he keeps such a well-stocked med kit?"

"Who the fuck'd take that bet?" Hidan retorted in agreement, but grinned. "Man, I fucking love med kits, though. Wounds don't take as long to heal with them."

The sole blond in the room hesitantly came out of hiding and sat back down in his chair. "You say that like you don't use 'em often, un," he said dubiously, and at the albino's shrug, grimaced. "Erk. Really?!"

"Don't be a pussy, Deidara," Hidan snapped back.

Holding up the last can, Kisame tilted his head. Well, if no one else was taking it… He cracked it open and took a gulp. Aah, life was good.

Deidara sudden got a strange look on his face as he focused on Kisame. "Oh, I forgot to ask… What were you and pineapple head doing at the Dome yesterday?"

There was a few seconds as attention shifted to the shark who was slowly blinking at the blond over the rim of the can. Kisame lowered his beer. "Looking at stars. You?"

"Well,  _I_  was lookin' at the stars, until I realized you were hanging out with  _Nara_ ," Deidara retorted, nose wrinkling. "Are you still pesterin' that kid?"

Lips curling up into a grin, Kisame shrugged. "The guy likes to look at clouds; I like to look at stars. He was the easiest one to hang out with. Didn't see  _you_  though. Where were you hiding?"

"Was helping Mavi, if you gotta know, un," Deidara huffed, naming one of the Dome's techies.

Blue-boy's eyes lit up. " _Really_? Hitachin Mavi? The lady who was giving the presentation?" Deidara was suddenly confronted with a very interested Kisame. "Any chance she would be willing to chat?"

Blinking, the blond shrugged. "I don't know, un," he muttered. "She's always been pretty nice to me, but apparently is a terror to others. But I could ask…? If you… want?" He gave Kisame an odd look.

Kisame beamed at him. "Any time," he said with enthusiasm. "She's got good stuff." The shark eased back into his chair, murmuring, "I wonder if she's got extra slides…"

Itachi glanced once at his friend and then quirked a brow at the other boys who were still staring. ' _Yes? What about it?'_  it seemed to say. "Kisame's new obsession," he deadpanned.

"Not new," Kisame snapped back.

The Uchiha turned to face him. "To them it is."

Kisame snorted and picked up his beer again.

There was a beat of silence, mostly because Deidara was staring at Kisame like he was crazy. Finally, it was broken by Kyuubi's return, and following treatment of Hidan (who cursed up a storm even when Kyuubi  _wasn't_  touching him).

xXx

The young man stepped into his guardian's classroom during lunch period. He was holding a bento and, when Zabuza looked up, smiling faintly as he approached. The teacher set aside his pen and furrowed his brow. "Haku?"

Raising a brow, the eighteen-year-old slid into a chair across from Zabuza's and set the box between them. "Good afternoon, Zabuza-san." Two pairs of chopsticks graced the desktop next to polished wood.

Zabuza sighed and set to stacking the papers he'd been grading, setting them aside. "Yeah. I guess. What's the meal today?"

"Beef teriyaki stir fry and prawn tempura," Haku said, lifting the lid. "And miso soup." A thermos was added to the spread. "You forgot to take lunch with you this morning."

"I was preoccupied," Zabuza responded, and gave Haku a faint smile. "Thanks for sharing."

Passing over the chopsticks, Haku's smile deepened at the corners. "It's my pleasure."

xXx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeey... Kakuzu? Am I caught up to the schedule yet?


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You can't mean getting picked up by the local pool shark, do you?"

Honestly, in hindsight, bringing her date  _here_  wasn't the best idea. For one, the bar wasn't the nicest one in town, and the way the regular patrons easily dismissed her companion wasn't hard to miss. Luckily Hakumoto wasn't paying attention to the rest of the bar. His focus was entirely on her instead. Compared to Neji, the experience was refreshing.

Mentally, Tenten smacked herself in the forehead.  _No more thinking about Neji!_ she admonished herself, bringing her own attention back to the present.

"I still think advanced physics would be a better course than zoology," Hakumoto insisted. "You're going into a  _flight school_ , not a vet. Shouldn't you be checking out rocket science?"

Wrinkling her nose, Tenten pointedly turned her head from the confused stare of a college freshman to frown at her friend. "Hakumoto—"

The blue-haired guy shook a finger at her. "Isao, Tenten-san. Isao-kun, if you must."

"Isao-kun," she amended, rolling her eyes. "I know what I'm getting into, but I'm not going to rush. There's no harm in taking a few courses that I'm interested in." Tilting her head, Tenten added a smile to the rebuke. "After all, I don't know when the next time I'll have a chance to indulge."

Hakumoto scowled for a moment before heaving a sigh. "Alright. You have a point." Scratching the back of his head, he grinned. "I can't really throw stones anyway. My classes are all over the map."

"I'll say. World politics, advanced textiles, modern history and… what was the other elective?"

Laughing, her friend rose from the table. "Set building. The drama group is always in demand. Must keep up the entertainment." Reaching out, he stole her empty pint glass. "Refills. I'll be back!"

Only a second passed before someone was sliding onto the vacated chair, a grin stretching wide across his pale face. "Replacing the douche?" Hidan asked cheerfully.

Narrowing her eyes, Tenten snapped, "Hakumoto is not a replacement." She kept an eye on the oblivious man in question. She had chosen this bar because she didn't want any rumours getting back to the Hyuuga household. The less Neji knew about her life, the better. He didn't have the right to that anymore.

Unfortunately, it meant that the regulars in the bar knew instead. Most of whom wouldn't care… Most.

"Yeah, sure, okay," Hidan said, snorting. "Not a replacement. Seriously wasn't the fucking point. What's got your panties in a twist?"

Slightly mollified, but refusing to show it, she frowned at him. "I don't like objectifying people." She wasn't a brood cow, Neji wasn't a perfect boyfriend, and Isao wasn't a rebound. Simple wasn't it?

Hidan blinked at her blankly. "… you didn't say jack shit about me callin' Neji a douche," he replied.

The frown melted down into a smirk. "Nope." Because  _that_  was true.

"You're so full of shit," Hidan said, grinning. He leaned back in the chair. "Up for a game of pool? I'll even let your new boy toy play. No stakes."

Seeing as Hidan wasn't going to leave well enough alone… and well, Hakumoto may as well get to know the worse of this crowd if he was going to insist on accompanying her, Tenten nodded. "Sure." Pause. "And he's not  _my_  boy toy."

Hidan smirked. "Ohh, I see! So you're into sharing! Got it. Fuck. Hey, maybe I can convince Hinata to—welcome back, boy scout!" He wiggled his fingers at the other male as he approached.

"Tenten-san?" Isao was so adorably confused.

Waving at the albino in Hakumoto's chair, Tenten made with the introductions as she stood to take her drink. "Isao-kun, Jashin Hidan. Hidan, Hakumoto Isao." She smiled at Isao's arched brow. "Hidan just invited us to play pool for a bit."

"No stakes! Lucky you, playin' against me with Tenten. Oy, did you know you'd been taken off the 'stakes' list?" Hidan asked, grinning. "Hinata too."

Both Isao and Tenten blinked at him. "What?" she asked as Isao repeated, "Stakes?"

The albino nodded, leading the way toward the table. "Kakuzu's rules. And don't think it's 'cause you're friends with Hinata, 'cause he ain't that generous. Seriously." He shook his head and snatched up a pool stick. "Boy scout, stack. Lady gets to break. I got solids, you wanna fight me for it, you'll  _lose_."

Adopting a pained expression, Hakumoto obediently arranged the balls. "'Boy scout'? How did I get that name?" he murmured, the lilting tenor betraying his amusement. Raising his head, and his voice, he asked the albino, "Who's Kakuzu?"

"My best goddamned friend, and the last motherfucker you wanna tell 'no' to," Hidan replied, smirking. "Fortunately for  _you_ , that bitch is off at school right now. Dunno how he fucking does it."

Chewing on her lip, Tenten waited as Hakumoto raised the triangle. "Kakuzu has the craziest schedule, alright," she agreed, absently, missing the sharp look Hakumoto gave her at the lack of suffix. "I'm not even sure he sleeps, to be honest."

"Tch." Hidan shook his head. "Bastard fucking crashes all over the place. Lives like a goddamn  _cat_  these days. Nappin'. Everywhere. In the junk yard. At Genma's place…. on my  _fucking couch_." Granted, Kakuzu lived there too, technically.

Tenten struck, and watched as the perfect formation scattered in mathematical chaos. "So… yeah. Kakuzu, Hidan, and I, we were all in Konoha High last year. Though, we didn't really get to know each other until a few months ago when Hidan started dating one of my friends, Hinata."

"Aah." Nodding, Hakumoto watched as Hidan stalked forward. None of the balls had sunk yet. "Is Hinata in Konoha Uni?"

Hidan paused, eying the table, then shook his head. "Highschool," he grunted as he shot, sinking the first ball.

Sighing softly, Tenten watched as her best friend's boyfriend sunk another shot. It was a very good thing they weren't playing for money. Speaking of… "Did Kakuzu say  _why_  I'm off the stakes list?" Apart from Hidan and Hinata, and even then sometimes, Kakuzu collected from everyone.

"Nope. Just that you were off, and if I did it anyway, he'd fucking try to kill me." He paused. "Well, that's some serious goddamn sugar coating, but basically."

Hakumoto's eyebrows had winged up into his shaggy blue bangs. "That's putting it mildly, indeed." He frowned at the table as Hidan stepped back. "What the hell am I supposed to do with this?" he asked incredulously at the various traps around the pockets.

Smothering a laugh, Tenten reached out and patted him on the shoulder. "Hidan's an ass. Just keep that in mind."

"Apparently,"

Hidan smirked. "Take a shot, boy scout. Or are you gonna run with your tail between your fucking legs, eh, bitch?"

Shooting the albino a glare, Hakumoto squared his shoulders. " _So_  not your bitch." But he took the shot, and actually managed to sink a stripe. However…

Leaning in close to console him as Hidan snickered, Tenten murmured, "It was a good try… just don't sink the cue ball at the same time."

Hakumoto groaned.

Hidan leaned over the table as he sank three more balls. "Fuck, man, you make this shit  _easy_."

The other man shrugged. "What can I say? I'm better at static than motion. Applied physics is Tenten-san's area."

At that, Tenten cringed. "Can you not call me that?"

"What? The 'san'?"

"Yes, that."

Smirking, Hakumoto tilted his head. "Feeling your age, ma'am?"

"Yo, fucktards. You gonna take your shot?" Hidan demanded impatiently. "Seriously. Knock that shit off."

Swatting the back of Hakumoto's head—which he ducked—Tenten focused on the game. "Both of you are pests."

Hidan grinned proudly. "It's 'cause we've got cocks."

Tenten shook her head resignedly as behind her, Hakumoto burst into laughter. "I like him!" he announced.

"So glad," she replied dryly, tapping a stripe into a pocket. "How 'bout keeping him distracted for a bit then while I try to save our hides?"

xXx

Isao blinked at her, then turned to look at the shark's grin on the albino's face. "Er… so… What do you do outside of the bar?"

"You really don't think you can distract me with  _that_ , do you? Bitch has a better chance," Hidan said cheerfully, eying Tenten's backside pointedly.

Shrugging, Isao lined up his gaze with Hidan's and pursed his lips. "I suppose… I like them a little more compact though." Females were so much curvier than men.

"Eh. Whatever floats your boat," Hidan said, shrugging. "My fucking Goddess is  _perfect_."

A grin forming on his lips, Isao actually looked at Hidan. "Float my boat, huh? Do me a small favour then and turn around." He held up a finger and twirled it in a circle.

Hidan paused, blinked, and tilted his head. Then he nodded. "Fuck you, queer, and that ain't a fucking invitation."

Isao grinned even wider. "I wouldn't take you up on it anyway; you're taken." He took a moment to consider the best topic for the mission and settled on… "So, what's your Hinata like?"

"Perfect, that's what," Hidan said, glancing toward Tenten, and narrowing his eyes. Then he looked back at Isao and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Like a goddess, man. She looks beautiful in gold, too. Guess it's a Goddess-y trait."

This fellow… was so  _very_  taken. "I take it, she's not the typical blonde and bronzed then?" The albino didn't look like the kind of guy to go for normal anything.

"Nope. Dark hair, pale skin, eyes like pearls… See? Perfect. She's even got this cute little smile," Hidan rambled thoughtfully.

 _I have_ got  _to meet this girl_. Isao nodded as he tried to picture her in his head. Though, pearl eyes triggered a memory. "Does she play pool too?"

Wine-colored eyes narrowed. "… sometimes. Why?"

Waving a hand at the green-felt field, Isao answered, "You seem to be very good at it; I only assumed that she plays too."

Hidan relaxed. "Tch. Weird fucking way of goin' about thinking. Fuck, Tenten, you through bein' a pussy yet?"

"More like, are you done saving our asses? Because my distraction is officially done in," Isao added ruefully. To his untrained eye, it  _looked_  like they were doing much better…

But Tenten was shaking her head and had that half-smile on her face. A project done, but not a complete success. "I got a few shots, but I don't think it'll help." She gestured at the last three stripes barricaded behind a row of solids. "Dammit Hidan. This sucks."

"Not enough," the zealot quipped, and in two minutes, ended—and won—the game. "C'mon, beers're on me."

Gulping down the last of his tepid drink, Isao pulled a face. "That'd be great. Thanks."

"Don't you have work?" Tenten asked, setting her cue on the felt.

"Yep. Why the fuck you think I'm getting one last drink?" Hidan smirked at her as he headed for the bar.

Isao and Tenten shared a glance. Maybe they were in the wrong profession. There was a certain charm to getting plastered before a shift. "So how often are you here?" Isao asked Tenten.

"Often enough," the albino shot over his shoulder.

The girl beside him closed her mouth with an amused smile and shrugged. Apparently, Hidan had answered correctly.

Watching as the bartender looked up, and then nodded at Hidan's hand gestures, Isao asked him, "You're here, and you… play pool? For stakes?" It seemed ridiculous until he remembered how thoroughly Hidan had dominated the table.

As the two drew to a stop by the bar beside Hidan, the albino turned his head to look at him. "Yeah. Usually it's me'n Kakuzu doin' it. Think I mentioned that shithead earlier."

Tenten glanced over from where she was watching the bartender pour the drinks. "And he's even more of a hard-ass than Hidan," she added with small smile.

Isao's brows shot up. "Really?"  _And you know these two… how well?_

Hidan's phone went off, and he pulled it out as he slapped a few bills on the counter. With the same hand, he pushed Tenten's and Isao's drinks toward them as the phone was answered and put to his ear. "Keep the tab open after I leave," he was saying to the bartender. "Kuzu's gonna be here in a couple hours."

Then he grinned widely at Tenten and Isao before turning away. "Goddess!"

Picking up his beer, Isao blinked as the albino  _bounced_  away while talking a mile a minute. "Is… that normal?"

Tenten snorted. "Yup. Just don't ever call him on it." She slid onto the barstool and picked up her beer. "He's sweet to Hinata, reasonably nice to me, but for all the rest of the world…"

"Approach with caution?"

"Or don't approach at all, especially if Kakuzu is with him." Tenten shrugged at his puzzled tilt of the head. "Hidan doesn't always push for money; he's in this for entertainment more than anything. Kakuzu, however, makes money  _constantly_."

For a moment, the two of them listened to the cheerful banter from Hidan and Isao shook his head. "So why do you come here?" The bar wasn't a dingy hole in the ground, but neither was it a place he'd expect to find Tenten.

"Hinata," she answered readily enough, her mouth quirking up into a smile. "She found this place, loved it for the anonymity, and brought me along after Hidan started making moves on her."

 _Close… but…_  "And now she and Hidan are dating." Tenten nodded, sipping her beer. "But why are  _you_  still coming here?" He raised his hands as her brows drew down. "Sorry, that came out wrong. I just don't understand why you didn't have us meet somewhere else. No offence to the establishment." The last was to the bartender who was giving him a flat glare. "There's nothing bad, er, wrong, about the place… I just thought, you'd go to a nicer place… like a coffee shop…" Oh, the bartender was really glaring now. "Erm…"

Tenten sighed, tossing the ruffled bartender a wry smile as Isao floundered. "Can we have a plate of nachos, please? I need to shut him up." The man grunted and mercifully turned away. "Isao-kun… you certainly have a way with words," she said, smiling.

Isao deflated.

"As to my reasons…" Tenten chewed her lip and took another sip. "I'm copying Hinata."

 _Copying_? Isao frowned as he watched the girl before him focus on her drink. "You can't mean getting picked up by the local pool shark, do you?"

It was equal parts chagrin and amusement as red-faced Tenten spluttered into her glass. "What?! No!"

"Yes! What?" Hidan asked, plopping down beside her. "What the fuck're you getting all squeaky about now?"

Isao hid a grin behind his glass as Tenten coughed and managed a strangled, "Nothing!"

The albino's brows furrowed briefly as he looked between them, eyes narrowing almost to slits. Then he grinned. "Fine. Not gonna tell me, maybe I'll go ask my fucktard best friend what he thinks you were talking about. I think between us we can come up with some  _wild_  shit."

Leaning back on the bar, the blue-haired uni student smiled widely as he said, "I'm sure Tenten-chan has nothing to hide." He grinned at her glare. "So, pool sharks, hm?"

"That's who they are, Isao-kun," she grumbled back. "And  _no_."

Hidan huffed. "You two yahoos are fucking out of your whack," he declared, and checked his watch. "I gotta get movin'. Tenten, Hinata says she wants you go come hang out with her sometime this week."

Visibly brightening, Tenten nodded. "I was planning on that anyway. It's been a while."

"Oh, before you go—thank you for this!" Isao lifted his beer. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Hidan."

"Yeah, you're not so bad yourself, Boy Scout," Hidan responded, giving him a mock salute. "Come hang out again. Bring a boyfriend." He smirked savagely and hopped up. "Barkeep! Tuck the card away. Make sure Kuzu takes it when he leaves."

The man nodded, and put Hidan's card into his back pocket. "Got it. Later, Hidan."

"Later, man. Later, Tenten."

As the albino swaggered out the door, the Chinese girl swung around to gape at Isao. "What?" he asked, suppressing a snicker.

"' _Boyfriend_ '?" Her eyes were  _huge_.

Smirking, Isao tilted his head. "You didn't know?"

All in all, he thought as Tenten's jaw swung open, this was turning out to be an entertaining evening.

 _And in a few hours, if I draw this out… I get to meet the infamous Kakuzu_!

xXx

The next week lapsed into a kind of flurry of activity for pretty much everyone. The high school students were prepping for the Fall Festival on top of their regular school lives, and the college students were dreading the upcoming midterms. In all, most of them could barely get any time to  _themselves_ , much less to go out on dates or hang out with friends.

Some of them managed to combine duty and relaxation, though…

"… and so basically this here would be multiplied by four, and then you have to… Naruto. Are you even  _listening_  to me!?"

The blond in question—whom had indeed  _not_  been listening at all—jumped and gave his pink-haired friend a guilty look. "Sorry," he mumbled. "Just was thinking… So you know Karin, right?"

The girl sighed. "Why do I care about Karin, Naruto?" she demanded, crossing her arms to glare at him.

He shrugged. "She's been stalking Teme. Like, seriously bad. We found a camera in his locker."

Sakura blinked, and looked at her boyfriend as he stepped into the room, bearing the snacks Mikoto-dono had dragged him away to help prepare. "Did you hear about this?" she asked him, brows arching.

Judging by the amused smirk curling his lips, Itachi did in fact know. "Sasuke mentioned it, yes." He slanted a knowing look Naruto's way. "I also heard about  _your_  present."

At Sakura's narrow-eyed look, the blond shrugged, unconcerned. "I can't help my own nature, can I?" he said smugly. "You shoulda seen his  _face_ , though. And man was Karin pissed abou—"

The sudden thunk and crash had Mikoto peeking into the room, but when she saw that it was Naruto on the floor, and Sakura's hand raised, the woman smiled and left again. "STOP DOING THAT STUFF, YOU IDIOTIC BLOND!" the rosette girl yelled at him.

Deftly stepping over the whimpering boy, Itachi calmly placed the tray on the heavy, durable, solid-oak coffee table. The last one had been reduced to kindling by the Zombie brothers, or more specifically, Kakuzu's back. Glancing at the blond hair inches from the table leg, Itachi lifted a brow. "Nara was in a similar position moments ago."

Pale blue eyes opened and peered up at the Uchiha. "Yeah? What'd he do this time?" he asked, and sat up. Clearly not as injured as he'd pretended to be. Then again, when one endures Sakura-beatings near daily for most of their life, endurance tends to build up.

Sakura sighed and shook her head.

"He was being himself," Itachi answered, shrugging. The males of this group were not going to change, whether the females of the same group would realize no amount of pounding would adjust that was not up to him. If anything, both parties seemed content with the arrangements, no matter what Ino and Sakura said. "Do you need anything?" he asked, turning to Sakura. "Refills?"

She smiled at him, and nudged her half-full glass of water. "I'm good. I could use a hug, though. Tutoring Naruto is like trying to teach a cat to fetch. Not impossible, but very very hard to do."

Naruto stuck his tongue out at her.

Itachi's expression hardly changed. "When you're done tutoring, then you'll get your hug," he said lightly, eyes flickering to the blond. "Studying is important." He smiled briefly, swooping down to drop a kiss on her forehead. "I don't think I can simply  _hug_  you anymore," he whispered in her hair.

Her cheeks turned faintly pink, but she was smiling a little. "I think you're just spoiled," she retorted teasingly.

(In the background, Naruto was making gagging motions, but he was ignored.)

Rising up, Itachi shrugged. "I can't help my own nature, can I?" Flashing her a grin, he disappeared into the kitchen.

Sakura laughed softly, and turned back to Naruto. "You, idiot,  _math_. Right now. C'mere."

He winced, but nodded and scooted closer. "Yes, yes,  _Sensei_."

She hit him again.

Over in the kitchen, Itachi took his seat at the table, cradling the waiting cup of tea. "So far half the senior staff members have been eliminated," he said, continuing where he had left off. Frowning, he shook his head. "Truthfully, I am unsure whether to be assured our skills are just  _that_  dependable or to despair that Uchiha's security is so lax." Picking up his tea, he inhaled the fragrance. "Thoughts?"

Mikoto sipped her own tea as she considered it. "I still don't understand what any of them would have to gain from sending Naiyuri and Sakura-chan away," she sighed. "It would help a lot if we knew their  _motives_."

Humming, Itachi nodded. "Besides the immediate personal inconvenience," he muttered, "removing Naiyuri-san only damaged what was a stable workplace." Her replacement was under-qualified and needed three months of training; an unnecessary move within the company. "A possible aim could be to cause dissention and confusion among the staff." Naiyuri was a hard-worker and good. Her sudden removal made no sense and direct threat to any staff member's sense of job security.

Across from the Uchiha matron, Shikamaru frowned. "We know it wasn't to harm Haruno-san. Nor Sakura. The removal from the company and the subsequent offer of a job succeeded in moving them from Konoha in a perceived permanent adjustment." Wrinkling his nose, Nara added, "Sakura's mom is  _happy_  in Suna. We cannot ignore that while she was in Konoha her social life had stalled after her divorce, but in Suna she has taken an active role in her community."

"A move for the greater good?" Itachi said, skepticism thick.

Nara shook his head. "No, but the aim was not to make Haruno-san miserable."

"We already ruled out her replacement, and all of her replacement's associates," Mikoto said thoughtfully. "So she wasn't moved so someone else could get her job." She tilted her head, and nudged the sugar container toward Shikamaru. "More sugar, Shika-kun?"

"I'm fine, thank you, Mikoto-san."

Sipping his tea, Itachi frowned down at the table. "Is it Sakura then?" he asked reluctantly. "What is gained by removing her from Konoha?"

"Other than making all of her friends, and you, miserable?" Shikamaru muttered with a grimace. "The Harunos don't hold anything in terms of social influence, unless you count Sakura's relationship with you."

Nodding, Itachi leaned back in his chair. "That is fairly obvious. But what is the point in removing Sakura from Konoha if she comes back? Whoever is familiar with her, or I, is going to predict that she would eventually return."

His mother sighed. "Unless it's not about either of them at all," she muttered, half-heartedly. "Which would mean it was about you, Itachi-san."

Carefully moving the cup away from his mouth, Itachi lifted his brows. "Not about the company as a whole?"

"If they wanted to destabilize the company," Shikamaru mused, "they would have caused something to happen higher up the chain." Tilting his head, he studied Itachi. "You haven't had any new proposals, have you?"

"No one would dare."

Mikoto coughed on her tea, and at their looks, smiled whimsically. "Well," she said noncommittally, and continued to drink the cooling liquid.

Itachi blinked. "Who?" he asked as politely as possible. He had a feeling if any they would all be within the family, but he didn't believe anyone would doubt his future.  _I chose Sakura. I won her over. And she is_ mine. It was obvious.

"Oh come now, Itachi," his mother huffed, setting her cup down. "You're the heir of the Uchiha family. Not a week has gone by without at least one unsubtle hint since you turned eighteen." And some before that, likely.

The third at the table sighed. "So nothing out of the ordinary then," Shikamaru muttered, slouching. "We may have to continue our investigations and wait for something to happen." He held up a hand when Itachi frowned. "Don't confuse that with being lax, Itachi-san. I don't want anything to happen to Sakura either." Rubbing two fingers against his temple, Nara added, "Just keep an eye on her. If anything happens, she needs to tell us."

At that moment, there was a sharp retort of flesh meeting hard substance and Naruto cried out in pain. Nara sighed.

"Anything unusual, anyway," he amended.

xXx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Isao's an OC. Yes, he's mine. No, you may not use him. Yes, he's taken.  
> No, he doesn't know. XD
> 
> And yes, we know Sakura's mom has been revealed months and months ago (if not years considering how much I haven't been keeping up), but we love Naiyuri-san. So she's staying.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kami (OC) belongs to LosttotheHoping. Do NOT steal him.   
> (Please don't, Isao will cry and someone will have to die to appease the goddess.)

Citrus Ether was a small coffee-tea hybrid shop that sat on the corner a short walk from the Konoha University campus. During the mornings and afternoons, the establishment flooded with students and professionals on a regular basis, only calming down in the evenings. The staff there were cheerful people, both men and women in mint green and white uniforms, bright orange name tags glinting on their aprons.

Sakura really couldn't tell if working there was the smartest of the stupidest thing she had ever done.

The drinks were addictive. The hours were acceptable. The people were polite, smart, respectful, and entertaining. She didn't really want to leave when her shift was over. In fact, some nights, she dawdled for hours later, disregarding study time and sleep for some remarkably intriguing conversations with the regulars.

She could justify the time spent as brain exercise. And since she only worked two nights a week,  _one_  night a week spent chatting couldn't be that bad. And it was only a  _few_  hours. And she was fed. And hyped on caffeine. And seriously,  _intriguing conversations_.

Particularly when it came to a certain Uchiha. One of the older clan members, grey-haired, craggy faced, mouth pinched like he had just chomped on a lime, the man was the perfect specimen of his clan with all his priorities wrapped up in Uchiha politics. But Uchiha-san had such a  _mind_.

"Enough about agriculture," Uchiha-san growled. "I'll concede your point." He narrowed his eyes at her victorious grin. "But only because you don't know any better." She gave him a disappointed flat glare. He snorted. "You're decades too young to be giving me that look, girl."

Wrinkling her nose, Sakura fought not to roll her eyes. The first and only time she had done that two weeks ago, Uchiha-san had swiftly brought up a topic that though she had an opinion, it had been embarrassingly clear she didn't know enough. He had trumped her soundly that night. And since then, she had stayed respectful. To a degree.

Leaning back, Uchiha-san glanced behind her to the clock, his black eyes still sharp despite his apparent age. "One more, and then you're done for the night."

Sakura twitched. Three conversations including tonight, and he  _always_  dictated what and how many topics they discussed.  _That's going to change soon, old man_.

Oblivious to her rebellious thoughts, Uchiha-san tapped the table with a finger. "Capital punishment," he announced. "For or against?"

The rosette pursed her lips as she eyed him, careful not to look away as she considered it. She had made that mistake a few times—by habit—at which he'd expressed the necessity of meeting one's eyes when you're having a conversation with them. Which was sugar-coating it.

"I don't think it can be that black and white," she decided finally. "I can't deny that sometimes, people—repeated offenders, especially—that harm others do need to be... dealt with in a way that will ensure they don't do it again. But by the same token, I feel like this line is stretched and blurred so much that they give this punishment out when other punishments would do, and sometimes they don't when they should." She paused, the corners of her mouth turning down. "So it's a matter of the person being tried. I don't think it should be decided lightly or quickly, either."

Uchiha-san raised a single thin brow. "Assume the jury actually know what they are doing," his tone clearly indicating what he thought of  _that_ , "and the convict is sentenced to life in prison, never to see the outside world. Is it more humane to leave them to rot inside a cement house or end it while they still have a mind intact?."

Sakura hummed, propping her head on her fist. "Incarceration changes people," she said after a beat. "Sometimes it makes them insane, yeah. And sometimes it does what it's designed to; it changes them for the better. How can someone in good conscience take away that chance of  _maybe_  having a better future,  _maybe_  being able to make amends, and just cut it off. Take away all possibilities, all  _chance_  of something good ever coming from it at all?" She shook her head. "I do concede that for some people, it won't work. Imprisonment, I mean. But you can't really know until it's tried, and sometimes it isn't tried."

Grunting, he pursed his lips. "So it is for our own consciousness that we keep them. They committed a crime by taking a life or several, but we should not, shall not, will not. We put them into a container, with others of their kind, and hope that as the years pass, their character will disintegrate and mold to what we deem acceptable. We seek then to change them, through time and threat of permanent incarceration. Some of them will change," he said dismissively, "but most will not. Most will die within their cells through violence, sickness, or by the slow burn of impotent rage." He tipped his hand towards her. "Isn't capital punishment a fine deterrent though? How many of these men and women commit a crime knowing that in twenty-five years they can talk their way out of prison? How many would take a chance at killing if they knew it was their own death they were courting?"

But she was shaking her head at him. "It's not a deterrent," she answered calmly. "It's still practiced now in places, and people do these things anyway. In essence, people are only sentenced to death to be rid of the hassle they present, or to sooth those who would have revenge."

"If it doesn't work as a deterrent," he said, "then it is their choice. We sentence them to die because it is what they chose for themselves. I'm not including those drunken brawls or the emotional 'accidents'. I'm speaking of those who systematically kill. For the pleasure, for the hunt. However, you term it. Those who have no interest in adjusting to society's norm, who work within it and manipulate it to adjust to  _their_  needs. And we should give them a chance to fool us?" He snorted. "Or we should coddle them in a humanitarian environment to wait out their days as the populace pays for their meals."

Sakura's brow twitched. "There's a difference, Uchiha-san, between monsters and assholes," she said as succinctly as possible. She inhaled to continue, but the door of the cafe opened and in seconds a familiar female sidled up.  _Erk._  "Hello, Konan..."

The blue-haired woman smirked at her. "You done with your shift yet? Need you to come do me a favor," she said, one hand shoved into a pocket. "It involves Pein, confetti and a... heh. Piñata."

Giving a low huff, Uchiha-san watched them over the rim of his teacup.

Sakura grimaced. "Only if there's pizza involved. And possibly a peek at your Advanced Chemistry notes. I wasn't able to get everything down during class," she said.

Konan nodded quickly, and shot the old man a curious look.

 _Right. Uchiha-san_. "I'm very sorry, Uchiha-san. Duty calls; if I don't chaperone, I feel like this will get unmanageable," she said, putting on her most apologetic expression. Actually, she was secretly relieved (for once) to be accosted by her stalker—er, roommate. She wasn't sure her temper could hold out against the man's stubborn persistence much longer.

Five feet away, the blue-haired woman was grinning almost sweetly. "Oh it will," she promised, her tone somehow managing extra sugar and mushroom-cloud doom at the same time.

Unimpressed, the old man leaned back in his seat. "Go, then." And like before, he nodded once to her, in a strange display of respect, and then pointedly ignored her.  _Bizarre_. And irritating.

Once again refraining from rolling her eyes, Sakura got up from the table, and offered Konan a smile. "Just let me put up my apron and get my purse. Then we can go."

"Sweet! This is gonna be so  _cool_ ," Konan gushed in response.

 _In the words of Shikamaru, 'this is gonna be so troublesome_ ', Sakura thought, and went to gather her stuff.

xXx

Honestly, Kami hadn't planned on accompanying Isao out for 'supplies', but when he learned that the younger male was intending on going for  _building supplies_ , his whole tune changed. He needed to look into a few shops. So it was ultimately  _he_  who decided to go to the new shop just down the road from his apartment complex.

Mostly because he'd heard their metal working was decent and durable, and he needed a gallows for one of his acts, that wouldn't break like the wooden ones he'd made kept doing.

Kami peered up at the place as Isao pulled his car into a parking spot, and shut off the engine. "I hear they're pretty decent," he said curiously, moving to unbuckle. "So maybe you can get the help you need."

Humming as he glanced at the shop's sign, 'Shiranui's Workshop,' Isao shrugged. "Can't hurt to shop around a little. I don't need a lot either." He popped the buckle and stepped out. Sounds of a saw drifted through the walls. "They are definitely active."

His companion hummed noncommittally as they approached the door marked 'For Commissioners'. There was nothing that said to knock first so he opened it, and immediately side-stepped as someone stumbled past him.

"You fucking asshole, I told you it wasn't—oh, hello, un, welcome to the Workshop!" The blond instantly did a personality three sixty and straightened, giving them a bright smile.

Another boy, dark hair, pale green eyes, bulky physique, peeked through the door but said nothing. He seemed to have a perpetual scowl etched into his face.

"Uh, hi," Isao said, stepping forward when Kami didn't immediately respond. "I'm shopping for some framework done in spruce or pine. Maybe a metal of some sort if I can budget it in. It's not too big or complicated. Only thing is, I need it in a week."

At this, the scowling boy stepped back. "Come inside. Make yourselves comfortable, and I'll go over details with you. Idiot, go get Genma or Kyuubi."

The blond made a face. "Don't fuckin' call me that, un!" he growled, but stalked past the bigger male and off further into the building.

Kami tilted his head, but preceded Isao inside, glancing around curiously. It was a small room with a vending machine in the corner, a sofa against the wall with a sturdy coffee table in front of it, and a few folding chairs scattered around. Most of the last were folded up and tucked into a corner. There was a door in another corner, that likely lead into the main body of the workshop.

Humming softly, the puppeteer walked over to the couch and did as he'd been invited to do. "I also have something to discuss with you, but my companion will do his business first."

"Fine," the man said. "I'm Chuushin Kakuzu. The blond you met was Toji Deidara."

Isao nodded as he sank down next to Kami, though he sat forward rather than relaxing back. "Hakumoto Isao," he said, with a small smile, and then motioned to Kami. "This is Kami."

They both watched Chuushin, waiting for a reaction.

Instead, Chuushin pulled a folding chair over, and sat. "So what exactly is it you're looking for? Details. As for the time frame, we can meet it, for a small extra fee."

Kami smiled faintly—no reaction to his nickname? How  _curious_!

Beside him, Isao glanced back with an upraised brow and they shared a moment of amusement. Then he turned back to the business. "I'm building a set for a stage, twenty-six feet by sixteen. Mostly mock houses. What I need here is a structure that can support the weight of eight hundred pounds." He glanced over to Kami. "There are only four people going up that tower, right?"

That matched his information, so he nodded. "Yes," he said.

"You said spruce, pine or metal? What kind of metal are you thinking, if we go that direction? And what does your budget allow?" Chuushin demanded, brow arching.

In answer, Isao pulled out his blueprints and spread it over the table between them. Rattling off numbers and amounts, the two men quickly became immersed in their discussion. While Isao was concentrating more on quality and simplicity, the shop worker was pointing out safety hazards and longevity.

"I don't need this to last longer than a year," Isao countered, his voice was firm, but Kami could already tell by the frown that he was considering it. A specific piece could only be used twice, maybe three times. But a basic structure like what Isao was angling for could be used for a number of things, and re-surfaced even more.

Chuushin shrugged and opened his mouth to make another point, when the door in the corner opened. "Hey, fucker, where'd you put the torch—holy shit, it's the queer!"

Kami's head snapped up, and his eyes narrowed at the albino who had stepped into the room. He turned his gaze onto Isao, then back to the other male. "And who are  _you_?" he asked, tone bland.

"Hidan, you his boyfriend or somethin'?" the other man shot back.

 _Not yet_ , Kami thought, and offered 'Hidan' an empty smile.

There was a choked laugh from Isao as his brain apparently stuttered to life. Only, it was a surprised sound rather than a pained one. "I had no idea you worked here!" Isao greeted the newcomer warmly. "Thought you... Wait..." Pause. " _You're_  the Kakuzu I've been hearing about?!"

Chuushin blinked slowly at him, and twisted in his seat to frown at Hidan. "What the fuck have you been telling people?"

"Only that you're a fuckin' hardass," Hidan retorted.

Apparently that was good enough, because the green-eyed male huffed and straightened again. "I gave it to Kisame."

"Sweet. But I'm takin' a fucking break. So what are you guys up to? Seriously."

Kami tilted his head. "I do not believe you are capable of seriousness," he said thoughtfully.

"The fuck do you know?" Hidan dragged a chair over and plopped down next to Kakuzu. "What're you here for, Isao?"

Isao's grin was gleeful. "Wood," he replied instantly. "Though, your friend is trying to convince me metal would be the better option. Strength, durability, and all just to stay tall and upright." He shrugged. "Though," and he grimaced, "Chuushin is actually doing a good job of convincing me."

"What'd I fucking tell you?" the albino laughed. It kind of grated on Kami's nerves, actually.

"What  _did_  you fucking tell him?" Chuushin growled.

"Oh, a  _lot_."

Kami hoped he hit the other male. He was seriously hoping, but considering they were best friends, it wasn't likely to—

_Thud._

Kami smiled.

Beside him, Isao leaned over to look at the albino who was now sitting on the floor holding his head. "Anyway, Hidan, this is my friend Kami. Kami, this is—well, I met Hidan at a bar when I met with Tenten-chan. Don't ever play pool with him." Isao straightened up and glanced at Chuushin. " _Either_  of them."

Chuushin gave them both a perfectly neutral smile, but Kami felt like the prey being stalked by the predator. It wasn't a pleasant feeling, and he didn't usually scare easy. "Ah, Tenten-san... the Highschool student? I have not made her acquaintance yet, if you recall."

Hidan peeked over the table, gaze locked on Chuushin, but the bigger male's expression was unreadable, so Kami wasn't sure what the albino was looking for. "Damn, Kakuzu, get a hold of that fucking temper."

"You're supposed to be working. Go earn your fucking keep, asshole," Chuushin retorted, pointing toward the door in the corner.

Isao blinked at the two shopworkers, and then dawning realization widened his eyes. "Yes, Tenten-chan. She dropped by one of my classes to see if she was interested in Advanced Textiles," he blurted out. "Nice girl. Very smart. And I think she's interested in someone—Erp!" He slapped a hand over his mouth.

Kami was curious to note how still Chuushin was, though it was Hidan that spoke up. "Oh yeah? Who?" he asked, grinning and pointing at the back of Chuushin's head.

Chuushin said nothing, but he was looking at Isao.

Who meeped behind his palm. Large brown eyes swung over to Kami.  _Help_?

Blue brows simply arched in response. Hidan snickered.

Isao looked like someone had told him the Christmas special had been cancelled. It was rather endearing. Slowly letting his hand slide down, the smaller univ student cleared his throat. "First off, I'm claiming a certain amount of amnesty. Just because I'm gay does not mean I know how a girl thinks." He shifted again as Chuushin's regard only sharpened. "After Hidan left, Tenten-chan wouldn't stop talking about you," Isao said simply and directly at the green-eyed shopworker.

There was a moment of dead silence that followed as Chuushin considered that. Then he grunted. "I believe we were discussing business. Can we continue and stop wasting time." It wasn't actually a question.

Hidan laughed. "I'm gonna go back in there. See you queers later!" He waved as he headed for the door.

Kami watched him go, and turned his gaze back to the other two. "Yes. We can continue." He was eager to get to his own project, actually.

Humming, Isao nodded and tapped a finger on the detailed lines on the paper. "Though, Hidan has that wrong," he murmured, eyes downcast. "There's only one gay man in this room..." And then he launched into an interrogation of Chuushin about the merits of aluminum.

The whole time they were talking, Kami was staring at his companion, eyes wide.  _How does he not know?!_

Finally, the two finished up, and that unnerving stare shifted to Kami as Isao went toward the vending machine for a drink. "So, what did  _you_  want?"

"Me? I want gallows. For little tiny people. About five of them."

xXx


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He smirked at her. "What, afraid I'll get ideas?"
> 
> "Always."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to Tozette, who is writing a fantastic story called [The Natural Habitat of Haruno Sakura](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1361833). Go read it! Sand Trails was one of its inspirations!
> 
> Also - this chapter is one example of the "casual bone breakage" tag this story totes.

It was a different Hinata who bustled from table to table. Smiling at customers, reciting with confidence the specials and her recommendations. Living on her own suited Hinata.  _The regular sex probably helps too_ , Tenten mused, covering a grin with a hand.

Sitting in a corner, nursing a huge hot chocolate, she sighed and looked down at the notes spread out over the table. This late on a weeknight, she had an entire booth to herself. And she needed it.

 _Bad enough that I'm out days before a midterm_. She couldn't give up the valuable study time as well. And Hinata understood that. Which is why both of them were keeping busy. After midterms though, the two of them were hitting their favourite mall for some serious girl time.

Tenten was squinting at the tiny side bar in a textbook when a plate of muffins was placed down at her elbow. "Oh!" She looked up blinking. "Thanks, Hi—" That wasn't Hinata. "Kakuzu?"

He arched a brow as he sat down across from her. "How long have you been here?" he asked, shifting some of the papers aside so he could set down his own mug. Coffee, by the smell.

"Just after school." Tenten frowned at him. "Don't you have classes?"

In response, Kakuzu started stacking her papers on top of a book, and pushed it to the side. "Eat every single one of those muffins, and finish that cocoa before you study another second, woman," he snapped moodily. "My classes ended an hour ago."

Frowning, she pulled the plate over and picked up the blueberry. Then blinked. "Ended?" Her eyes snapped up to the clock by the cashiers.  _I knew the sun had set… I didn't know it was past nine_! The low growl from her friend had her hurriedly biting into the muffin. And after that, she really didn't need encouragement to eat the rest of them.  _Blueberry, cranberry, and chocolate-banana. Someone's been talking to him_.

The man had set a bag she was only just noticing beside him on the seat. As she ate, he opened it and tugged out a book of his own, sifting through the pages before he began to read. A comfortable silence fell between them until she'd finished.

"Want more?"

Guiltily conscious of his spending habit—she highly doubted he had more than one—Tenten shook her head. "No, those were great. Thank you." She didn't say he shouldn't have, since worse than telling him not to spend money on her was to tell him that she felt it wasn't worth it. Her only route then was reciprocation. "Can I get you anything?"

He snorted. "No," he responded, thick finger tapping his mug. "I've already eaten. I'm good." He considered her a moment, before leaning back. "What is it?" Apparently, she was that transparent.

"You're not going to like me for telling you," she said, reaching out for her notes. Or maybe, he knew her that well. No one accused Kakuzu for being unobservant.

His hand reached the notes first, covering half of their surface with its span. "Drink," he said flatly, and tugged the pile out of reach.

Scowling, she sat back, taking her warm mug with her. "Tyrant."

He shrugged, as if to say, 'so what?' "You haven't answered my question."

Lifting the dark blue mug to her lips, Tenten shrugged back.  _My mouth is busy,_  she thought cheekily, hiding her sudden grin behind the porcelain.

A beat passed as he eyed her, then he smirked back and relaxed against his seat. "Seen Hidan lately?" he asked as he reached for his own drink.

Blinking once, slowly, she reluctantly lowered her shield. "As if you don't know," she muttered. "Yes, I saw him early last week."

He nodded, glancing toward Hinata over by another pair of customers. He'd already said hello, likely, considering he'd come bearing gifts.  _Or possibly blackmail material_.

"Interesting," he said finally, an odd lilt to his tone.

That was one way of putting it. Hidan had been cheerfully talkative that night. Free beer, free game. He was  _nice_  too. Not just to her, but to Isao-kun as well. For Isao-kun, the treatment was obviously a one-time deal, but Hidan had mentioned special privileges for her and Hinata. Hinata, she could understand…

Tenten took another sip of lukewarm liquid chocolate and told herself not to read too much into it.  _Look where assumptions got you last time_.

Kakuzu sighed, running a hand over his neck. It was a strange, almost surreal moment in which he kind of looked more like a human being—a  _tired_  one—and less like some sort of workaholic robot. "I think I might take the weekend after midterms off," he said thoughtfully. "Need to sleep for a good long time."

Gaze snapping up from his collarbone, Tenten coughed. "I don't know whether to be amazed you've held out this long or drag you to the nearest soft surface." Pause. She carefully placed her mug on the table without looking at him and sank her burning face in her folded arms. "Oh god. Don't say anything, please."

Kakuzu, hardass bookie and money-monger, started to laugh at her. "But you left it open. What kind of friend of Hidan's would I be if I didn't?" he asked, tone  _very_  amused. At least he  _didn't_  actually say anything specific. Yet.

Groaning, Tenten refused to look up. "See if I ever say anything nice about you  _ever_." And the sad thing was… he did have good qualities… she just couldn't ever list them out. Again. Isao-kun was  _it_  as far as confessions.

He must have leaned forward, because when he spoke, his voice was  _very_  close. "Good. I have a reputation to uphold, after all," he murmured.

"Nrr…" She gave a single shiver before letting the adrenaline work itself out through the tapping of her foot. "I'll say you have a kitten," she threatened.

"I'll claim it was for eating," he answered.

He was still so  _close_. "Doll houses."

"Replicas so I can practice my hit list routes."

And oh so smug. "Baking marathons," she shot back, feeling her blush die down and a smile tug at her lips.

"Ever seen Sweeny Todd?" he asked, a chuckle banking the words.

Tenten couldn't help herself and burst into laughter. Turning her head, she gazed up at him, eyes shining. "That's just disturbing, and you know it."

The corner of his mouth turned up. "That's the point," he answered,  _finally_  sitting back. "Your drink is getting cold. If you don't hurry up, I'll have to go buy you another one."

Grinning widely, she snatched up her mug again. "Your threats are so scary when you're being generous," she told him lightly before gulping down the rest of the chocolate.

Dark brows twitched up slightly, and he got up. "Now study. I'll be right back," he said, and turned to head over to Hinata.

"Ever seen Terminator 2?" she called out to his back, snickering even as she reached out for her papers. He was such a brute. And a pusher. And—Shaking her head, Tenten deliberately opened up the textbook and flipped to that damn sidebar.  _I hate midterms_.

The bell over the door jangled, but it wasn't until she heard a familiar voice that she looked up. "… so sure this is a wise idea, Lee…"

Tenten felt an ache bloom to life behind her sternum and never in her life felt so thankful to be in a corner booth far from the entrance.  _I won't hide. I won't hide. I will not hide_ , she chanted, eyes cast down on blue and black ink.  _But I don't have to acknowledge him either_.

"Neji-san! This  _needs_  to be done!" She could almost see Lee gesturing and verbally pushing her— _his_  mulish friend.  _I can't even say we're friends anymore, can I_? Below her nose, the book began to shake. "She's family, and bonds of blood are eternal!"

"Lee—" Neji cut himself off though, and she could imagine his silent sigh as he gave in to Lee's good wishes. "Fine."

They were walking through the cafe, toward Hinata now. Toward  _Kakuzu_ …

Grimly, Tenten put down her book, took a deep breath, and turned her head. Being a coward for herself was one thing. But they weren't here for her. And if  _he_ upset Hinata, all bets were off. Though… with Kakuzu right there, she doubted that Neji would start anything. Also, it was a place of business.

 _Ah hell. You know what? Fuck this_. Tenten pressed her lips together and slid out of her seat. She stalked after them.  _I'm not going to wait for disaster to happen_. Kakuzu could run prevention like any good bouncer, she was going to make sure Hinata had her support  _now_.

The larger of the boys glanced toward her and narrowed his eyes as she approached. Then he looked toward Hinata, and Neji as he drew to a stop before her. The Hyuuga male glanced at the bookie, and inclined his head in a parody of acknowledgement. "Hinata, I wish to speak with you…" Lee elbowed him, and he added, "If you would spare me a moment." Another nudge. "Please."

And Hinata nibbled on her lip only once, and glanced at the clock on the wall for just a second, before nodding. "I can take a break now," she said, the faint tremble only  _just_  there—Tenten was  _so_  proud of her. "If you just take a seat? I'll be with you in a moment."

Neji paused, then nodded. "Okay." His voice was very quiet. Turning away, he grabbed Lee's arm and dragged him toward a secluded table.

"You don't have to do anything," Kakuzu told Hinata flatly. "If he says or does anything that upsets you, tell me and I'll get rid of them both." His eyes lifted to meet Tenten's as he finished speaking.

Gifting him a small smile, that unfortunately Tenten didn't feel, she walked forward and hugged Hinata. "Well, maybe not Lee," she murmured into dark hair.

In her arms, Hinata let out a shaky giggle. "Lee is special, isn't he?" she agreed before nudging out of Tenten's embrace. "Gotta tell Rika that I'm on break." She smiled at them both. "Don't go anywhere, please?"

Kakuzu nodded. "We'll be at our table. Ten feet away," he said, glancing toward where Neji had found a seat. The young man was  _not_  looking toward Kakuzu and Tenten.

Reaching out, Tenten mock punched the other girl in the shoulder. "Make us proud, neh?"

Smile turning up by degrees, Hinata nodded and then marched off to the cashier where the other girl stood watching. The moment she was within whisper distance, Rika leaned forwards, a worried frown on her brow.

"If she doesn't say the right thing," Tenten murmured in wry amusement, "Rika is going to hit the panic button."

"I know," Kakuzu said. "Go sit down. I put in an order for drinks, so I'll join you in a moment." When she opened her mouth, he shook his head. "No arguing with me."

Sighing, Tenten stuck her tongue out at him instead. "Tyrant." All the same, she turned and marched back to their booth. For a moment, her gaze was glued to Neji's profile, then it wavered and slipped over to Lee's. Who was watching her.

She shook her head before he announced her presence, and he subsided silently. A dismayed expression his only reply. Neji meanwhile seemed to be in heavy communion with a napkin he was shredding.  _Poor napkin_.

Three tables away, she slipped to the side, soundlessly slipping into her seat. She had given him a chance to see her, to notice her, to acknowledge her. Feeling a little empty, Tenten glanced down at her notes. Should she feel vindicated that he had proved her point? That he didn't see her?

She hoped fervently that Hinata had better luck. Lee was right after all. Family bonds were permanent and when they were ignored, it  _hurt_.

Kakuzu sat down across from her again, setting a steaming mug by her elbow. Then he moved to sit lengthwise on the seat so his back wasn't to the family meeting, as Hinata went over to sit with them. A beat passed. "You okay?"

Pressing her lips together, Tenten shook her head and then shrugged. Really, what could she say? They had been together for years and she had ended it only two months ago.

He sighed. "I promised Hinata I wouldn't do anything to him," he admitted. Paused. "However, for a hefty price, my allegiance can be shifted."

Blink. That was… so ridiculous…  _Oh, hey. Look at that. I'm giggling_.  _Chalk that up to hysterics_. Tenten ducked her head and covered her face with a hand.

"Better," he said, sounding  _so_  self-satisfied. "You should probably try to study. What are you working on?"

Looking up, she pressed the same hand into a fist against her mouth to control her giggles. A moment later, Tenten coughed once and gave him a skeptical look.  _Really_? _Now_?

Kakuzu stared right back at her, expectantly.

Yes, apparently right the fuck now.

Taking a fortifying breath, she let her hand drop, gesturing at the notes. "China and its use of Communism," she replied. "We're studying the differences between the ideal and the practice."

He nodded, gaze shifting briefly away. "Okay. And?"

Brows tucking together, she glanced down. "What can I say? Judging from what I've read, I'm  _really_  glad my grandparents immigrated out. The system could work, but only if the ones in power didn't abuse their position. China has always been like that though…" She watched his expression for a moment. "How is she doing?" she asked quietly.

"She's strong, and there's nothing going on at the moment. They're talking. Calmly." He shrugged. "Tell me about the system. I'm not that up-to-date on the practices of China."

Marginally assured, Tenten eased back in her seat, a smile blossoming. "I'm surprised Lee hasn't vibrated through the wall," she said, reaching out for her fresh cup of hot chocolate. "And I really don't think telling you  _anything_ about their governmental methods would be good for anyone."

He smirked at her. "What, afraid I'll get ideas?"

"Always."

"Smart girl." Kakuzu shifted in his seat, grabbing his cup to drink. A beat passed, then, "Interesting."

Tenten leaned forwards, ears straining. "What?"

"Looks like they're wrapping up. She just hugged him," he answered, shifting his gaze to meet hers briefly.

Chuckling, she dropped back. "Lee's suggestion, I'm sure." But that was good.  _Very_  good. And she was proud of both Hyuuga for going that far.  _I may not like him, but I can be happy for her_. Hinata had always been surrounded by family, when she moved out, she had grown stronger, but she had still missed the family. Especially after coming home from a dinner with Hiashi-san.

"Hm. Still. Her willingness to do it speaks volumes about how things are between them," he said, twisting to sit properly on the bench. Lee's enthusiastic tones were shifting away, toward the door. "Well. Now we can focus on important things."

"Ah… Neji-kun! I am  _very_ sure that is  _not_  a wise idea!" You didn't have to know Lee to hear the tones of panic.

Tenten's eyes flew open. She had closed them in relief.  _So much for that_.

Sure enough, a figure stepped up to the side of the table in her peripheral. Across from her, green eyes had snapped toward the figure, but Neji spoke first. "What are you doing?"

"Sitting. What the fuck does it look like I'm doing, Hyuuga?"

"With  _her_?" He wouldn't even say her  _name_? "I've observed your group for years. You don't sit with little girls."

Kakuzu leaned back, looking almost relaxed to the casual observer. However, Tenten knew he was ready to lunge. "Back off, boy. Getting into my business is  _not_  what you want to do right now."

" **Neji** ," she hissed. "What are  _you_  doing?" She was not going to play the I'm-going-to-ignore-the-main-issue game. Beside Neji, Lee appeared, his hands opening and closed into fists.

He ignored her. Again. "Or what?"

"Or I'll fucking kill you," Kakuzu snarled. Yeah, he was pissed now. "Get your friend away from me, Lee, or you're going to lose him."

 _Oh, damn._  Tenten clenched her own fists, and glared at Neji. "You  _can't_  fight in here," she told him. "Hinata will  _lose her job_." And what did it matter if Kakuzu was sitting with her? Neji didn't want her anymore. That was clear, wasn't it?

Neji was silent for a second. Then, "Chuushin, outside."

"Agreed." Kakuzu got up as Neji backed away, and headed for the door. "Tell Hinata I'm sorry, but I'm beating the shit out of her fucking cousin. I'm done with this bull."

"Fine." Fingers clenched around the seat edge, Tenten closed her eyes, ignoring her growing frustration as Neji walked away with Kakuzu on his heels.  _I hate this._  Grinding her teeth, she looked up, and seeing Lee had left as well, she surged to her feet. Heading for Hinata, she wound through the tables, mercifully empty, though there were still a few customers who hadn't followed the two men outside. _You two can go beat the shit out of each other. I don't need to stand there and justify your actions. I won't watch this idiocy. I won't_.

Hinata met her halfway. "What's going on?" Eyes wide, her friend brought up her hands, thumbs rubbing over Tenten's cheeks. "Tenten?"

Growling, she swept her own hand over her face. "Neji was being an ass and called Kakuzu out." Tenten shot a glare at the front door. "Kakuzu says sorry. He's gonna have to wreck your cousin."

Shaking her head, Hinata sighed. "Idiots."

"Yeah." It wasn't even the violence that made her feel like shouting. It was the way Neji completely ignored her… and yet caused trouble anyway. "He just had to pick today, didn't he?"

"You know…" Hinata began, steps a determined march towards Tenten's booth. "I could just call Father and tell him what's going on."

Trailing behind her, Tenten was startled into a shaky smile. "Neji would be in traction for weeks."

"One way or another, yes. Yes, he would."

Hidan was a horrible influence on Hinata. And Tenten loved him then for it.

Almost fifteen minutes passed before Lee came back in, looking strangely confused, and told them that Kakuzu said Tenten needed to come out. That it was important. He wouldn't say anything further.

When they went out, it was to the sight of Kakuzu standing in the side lot with Neji in front of him, on his knees, facing out. Kakuzu had one hand gripping the younger boy's hair at the back of his skull, and the other was hanging, a bruise darkening on the forearm. Broken, probably.

When the girls and Lee drew to a stop ten feet away, Kakuzu shook the other boy. "Now."

Neji coughed, and spit up blood. "I'm sorry."

Another shake. "Like you mean it, bastard."

The boy finally looked up, pearl eyes meeting brown. His eye was turning colors, and his nose—like Kakuzu's, actually—was broken. "… I am sorry, Tenten," he murmured, and looked away in shame.

Kakuzu released him, and the other male fell onto his hands. "Fucking waste of a perfectly good night."

Meanwhile, Tenten was blinking down at the broken form. Dark brown hair spilling down over pale features. Was she supposed to forgive him? She glanced over at Hinata who looked so sad. She could be a coward when it came to herself… but… "Just don't do that again," she said wearily and turned back to the warm lights of the cafe. "There's no need to."

Kakuzu caught up with her by the time she got to the door, and grabbed it for her. "My shit's inside," he said, frowning.

Shaking herself out of her confusion, Tenten looked at him. Really looked at him. "Is that broken?" she asked, as they both stepped in through the door.

"Yeah. Probably. Fucker's not a bad fighter, even if he keeps picking the wrong fights," he muttered, stopping beside the booth to reach for his bag. He slid it to the edge of the seat, opened it one-handed, and then grabbed the book he'd left on the table. That was tucked away before he snatched up the mug of cold coffee and guzzled it. At her look, he shrugged. "Not gonna waste."

Half sighing, half laughing, Tenten shook her head and placed a hand on his uninjured shoulder. "Give me your keys. You can't drive like this."

Green eyes flickered over her, and then he nodded. "No speeding. Getaway wastes money." He tugged a keychain with over a dozen different keys on it from his pocket before handing it over. He tugged the strap of his bag over the shoulder of his good arm and stepped away from the table. "Finish your drink."

Amused beyond what was probably proper, Tenten picked up her bag and the travel cup Hinata had prepared for her. "I'll just bring it, thanks," she said, waving at Hinata who was walking in through the doors, murmuring into a cell phone.

Hinata paused beside them, giving Kakuzu a worried once over. "Hidan's pissed," she told him over the swearing emanating from the speakers. "But he'll see you at the hospital when his shift is over."

Kakuzu shrugged. "Fine," he said. "Tell him he's a fucking moron." That declared, he went for the door.

He was through first so he didn't hear it, but as Tenten let the door swing shut behind her, she heard Hinata say, "He says he loves you too."

And despite the absurd mess the night had turned into, Tenten was smiling when Kakuzu glanced back.

xXx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to know how to rest of their night goes, I'll be posting the trip to the hospital tomorrow (or in a few hours). It'll be listed as the next story in the series. The next chapter of Upgrading, however, will be going on as usual next month. When I have Tenten's night posted, I'll update with a link here.
> 
> Hmm! Time to add Kakuzu/Tenten to the tags!
> 
> [Edit] [Here's the story!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5269868)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is what happens when Kakuzu doesn't come in to work. The world dysfunctions. Blame Sarutobi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Public Announcement: _Try not to wake anyone up if this is the middle of the night for you._

Genma walked into the room, held up his hands for attention, waited until Kisame and Kyuubi paused in their work, and then crossed his arms. " _Kakuzu_  is taking a  _sick day_. What the hell did I  _miss_ , Kisame?"

"Uh… Lots." Grinning, the blue teen canted his head to the side. "Hyuuga Neji picked a fight with him. Kakuzu won, but still got a busted arm. That was last night." Looking up at the ceiling, he thought for a moment. "Must have gotten home around midnight high on meds."

"Hell. What is it with that guy?" Genma shook his head. "Didn't he lose to Hidan a while back too?" He headed over to check on Kyuubi's progress with the miniature gallows that weird fellow with the ambitious name had ordered. "How's this coming along?"

Dusting off metal shavings, the redhead lifted up the two sides that he was putting together. "Rather fast," he said with satisfaction. "The client really knew what he wanted and the schematics are very easy to follow. I'll probably be done by Friday morning."

"Perfect," Genma said, eying it, and grinning at his partner in crime. Then he turned toward Kisame. "What about you?"

Tapping a gloved hand against the long aluminum strips, Kisame hummed. "Not bad. We'll have it done, yeah, but I don't think the design is best Kakuzu has come up with." He shrugged. "There are some parts that seem superfluous. We don't have time to change it though, and frankly I don't want to mess with it since Hakumoto signed off on the blue prints."

"Well. We'll just hope the kid knows what he's doing," Genma said, before turning toward his own station. He had a project of his own he needed to get done by Sunday.

xXx

Five to eight, Hinata stumbled in through the door and slumped into her seat next to her class partner. "Shino?"

The reticent teen turned his head toward her, and blinked behind ever-present sunglasses (apparently bright light hurt his eyes, or that's what he told the teachers). "Good morning, Hinata."

"Good morning. Could you please do me a favour?" She opened up her pack and pulled out her textbook. All without opening her eyes. "When I fall asleep, please wake me up."

"Opening your eyes would be advisable," he suggested mildly. "I also suggest coffee. I believe Karin has some, if you make it worth her while. Or perhaps you can bat your eyelashes at Kaka-sensei. He is susceptible to the feminine whiles. Why? Because he's a pervert."

Hinata cracked open one eye to stare at him. "Shino… that's disturbing and horrible advice. Can you imagine what my boyfriend would do?" She giggled and leaned into his shoulder. "But I'll go talk to Karin. Thank you." And with that, she was gone, weaving between the tables heading for the mentioned redhead.

xXx

" _It's_  next week."

Deidara lifted his head, blinking sleepily at the two whispering nearby.

Naruto looked vaguely queasy as he continued. "You  _know_  what I'm talking about."

"This news disturbs me greatly. Why? Because I recall  _last year_."

"Exactly!" The boy flailed a little, drawing looks from several others in the second period Calculus class. "That thing! It was a disaster! Jiraiya didn't recover for a  _month!_ "

Deidara blinked, and reached out, grabbing the back of Naruto's hoody and jerking. The other boy flailed and fell out of his seat. "What are you talking about, un?"

Shino looked very serious as he turned toward the artist. "The Two Hours of Doom."

Understanding dawned, and Deidara paled. "WHAT!?"

xXx

That was  _it_. Sasuke took his second favourite eraser, reared back, and pinged it off the back of a blond head. "What the hell is wrong with you?" he hissed as the guy yelped and spun around in his chair. "You've been whimpering and muttering and  _driving me insane!"_

The boy in question scowled angrily. "Driving  _you_  insane, un!? Do you have  _any idea_  what sort of hell we're in for!? The THD is next week!"

Nearby, Lee yelped and fell out of his seat.

Sasuke gaped at him. "It can't be!  _Already?"_

Students all around in a four-desk radius paled.

Deidara nodded. "I heard last period from your stupid friend, un." And no one questioned Naruto's knowledge of Sarutobi's machinations. He was  _always_  nosing about that man's office (when not pranking people, running away from people he'd pranked, or being forced to attend classes).

Sitting back, Sasuke passed a hand over his face. "Maybe I can arrange a mass food poisoning…"

xXx

"… and so I was wondering if I could get a casting of your most excellent posterior for practical appliance," Sai finished, empty smile in place, putty in hand and so  _very_  serious.

The earnestness of his request was all that was saving him from a face plant into the wall… however, it was doing nothing to help his maybe-model recover from her shock.

"Sai-kun…" Tenten began, stopped. Shook her head. Started again. "If you get me extra large coffee with a double shot of espresso, I will consider it."

He lit up like Christmas, and tucked the box of putty back into his leather bag. "I will return! If the teacher asks, take no responsibility. I'll take the detention." Eagerly, he spun away and took off through the mass of students hurrying to class.

Five feet away, enjoying the luxury of fourth period free, Tobi grinned widely. "Tobi finds it so refreshing to see Sai-kun making such special friends!" he gushed.

xXx

The world around him was a mimicry of life. All the students plodding through the motions of heading to fifth period classes. By now there were so very few who didn't know the truth. Those poor naive idiots. How Kiba envied them.

"I wanna die…"

When he turned to go into his next class, he nearly knocked into a girl—er, Haku. "Oh excuse me…. Kiba-kun? Are you alright? You look… ill…" The poor guy was so clueless, it was obvious. He didn't have the same look of dread on his face as everyone else.

"I'm not alright." Suddenly, he had an idea. "You work with foods right? Do you know poisons? Something that can mimic death for just  _two hours_?" Kiba surged forward, hands up to reach for Haku's shoulders… but no… Haku was already shaking his head.  _Hope dies so fast…_

"I don't know why you would want such a thing, Kiba-kun, but I don't think it exists anyway." Haku tilted his head. "Maybe you should go sit down somewhere… Why are you so upset?"

For a moment, the halls had colours, sounds, dreams… Kiba sighed. "Nothing I do now will change what will come. We are all going to suffer. Suffer so very horribly." He snapped his gaze up to Haku's worried face. "And the  _men_  will suffer the most. Why is that, Haku-kun?  _Why_?"

The pretty male blinked at him, bemused, until somewhere down the hall someone let out a shriek of horror and started banging their head against the wall. He turned to look. "Oh dear… wait… Kiba-kun…" He turned back to blink at the Inuzuka. "Is this about that silly assembly?"

"Just tell me how to die… that's all I need to do now…"

The other male reached out then, and clasped both of Kiba's shoulders in a gesture no doubt meant to give comfort, or solidarity. "Cheer up! Sasori-san and the Akatsuki gang are gone. How bad could it be?"

Kiba took in a shuddering breath. Looked Haku dead in the eye. And burst into tears.

xXx

"… so he brought you a  _coffee_?" Deidara looked incredulous. He'd already been sitting with Hinata every day, and saw no reason to change that even though Tenten wanted 'space to think'. And so they were talking. "I mean, he actually went down… and bought it… and brought it to you by the next period, un?"

"From the specialty shop where Sakura-chan works at on the weekends, no less," Tenten replied, a little dazed. She let out a helpless little laugh. "Crazy, neh?"

Beside her, Hinata was busy pillowing her head in her arms and laughing. "You said…" she choked out, "… that you'd  _think_  about it?"

"If you go on any longer," Tenten deadpanned, "others are going to label you as one of those who cracked under the threat of THD."

Deidara cringed away from her at that. "Shut up!" he hissed, looking horrified. He glanced around briefly, and shuddered. "I heard that Uchiha snapped in fourth period and started trying to choke Akamichi." He shuddered again. "And then… Vomit, all over the tables…"

Rolling her eyes, Tenten reached over and playfully shoved Hinata, who was only now recovering. "If Sasuke-kun was going to do anything, he'd do it to himself, not others."

"Maybe he's testing out poisons?" Hinata offered between short tightly controlled breaths. "I hear that's the preferred method for this year." Her voice wobbled at the end and she held her breath.

"Yeah, running didn't work last year," Deidara said sadly. "Personally, I'm considering blowing up the basement with myself inside. If I survive, I'll be a hero for escaping the horror, un."

Both girls turned their heads, frowning at him. "If you're going to rig something," Hinata said severely, "then take out the projector, not yourself."

Blue eyes blinked. "I tried that Freshman year, un. They replaced it."

"That was  _you_?" Tenten burst out laughing. "Not only did they put up a new one, but they wheeled out a third just in case! And then Tsunade had  _two_  slide shows going at the same time!"

"Yeah. Tried distracting them too, un. Remember the bathrooms the year after that?" Deidara asked, grinning. "That was me."

Shaking her head, Hinata piped up. "Don't be too proud to say that so loudly, Dei," she cautioned. "I've seen Ibiki-san march through the quad on occasion. I think he misses chasing Kisame and Hidan."

Deidara glanced around and shuddered. Again. "That guy's a sadist, un," he whined. "Freaky as fuck." He paused. Blinked when his phone went off. After checking it, he grinned. "Yes! Plan B is a go! I could  _kiss_  her, un! Except… Itachi would kill me."

Frowning, Tenten glanced at Hinata who was tilting her head in thought. "I feel like I should know this," the pale-eyed girl admitted. "Something about fireworks?"

"Okay, I'm warning you two, un. Try to sit on the east side of the gym," the blond said, firmly, and grinned. Evilly.

Two pairs of dark eyebrows shot up. Then both girls nodded in unison. It was best just not to chance it.

xXx

"Neh, Ino? You're my friend right?"

The blonde girl blinked. "… when you're not being obnoxious, yeah, sure," she said, brows arching.

Shifting a little closer, Naruto nodded. "Oh, not being obnoxious right now at all. Actually, I'm desperate but determined. See, I know what's coming up."

She frowned at him in confusion. "What?"

"I believe I need to die. A single sacrifice to save all the students in this school." He waved a hand at the rest of the class and beyond. "And I think Sai would agree," he paused to gaze into her beautiful eyes, "it would be an honour to die of suffocation between your perfect breasts."

A beat passed, as Ino drew in a slow breath. And then sent Naruto flying into the wall. "PERVERT!"

xXx

There was a foot, nudging Shikamaru's hip. He tried to ignore it, but it only became more insistent. One grey eye opened, meeting blue. His harasser smiled. Widely. "Nara, you're comin' with  _me_ , un."

And then he was being kidnapped.

Good thing he had free the last period of the day.

xXx

When Deidara waltzed into the store,  _with his not-quite-boyfriend_ , Kisame's brows furrowed. He wondered what the blond was up to, but Deidara didn't approach him. Instead, he dragged the Nara toward the back of the store, where the lizards and bugs were kept.

Shikamaru only barely managed to glance Kisame's way before he was out of sight.  _What the fuck are they_ _up_ _to? No way Dei knew I was here… Mikoto called in sick just two hours ago._

A little while later (roughly five minutes), they came to the desk. With a bunch of tarantulas. "I want to buy these, un," Deidara said, with the kind of unarguable firmness common in men on a mission.

Beside him, looking fully supportive of this, Shikamaru nodded. "He needs to buy these," he reinforced the statement.

"Uh huh. What the fuck for?" Kisame took the small cages from the blond, carefully lining them up on the counter.  _Poor bastards._

Deidara blinked at him. "What the fuck do you think for? I wish to love them and hold them and pet them and teach them to demolish and destroy—"

"It's to avoid the THD. We'll pay double," Shikamaru interrupted, rolling his eyes.

 _Yep, poor bastards_. Ringing the whole lot of them through, Sharky gave Deidara an expectant look. "You're buying every single one of them lasers and sending me the videos, right?" To Shikamaru: "What are you, stupid? Don't pay for something the idiot's going to cover."

"When I say 'we' I mean him and the money Naruto filched from him  _last week_ ," the Nara corrected, and shrugged when Deidara shot him a livid look. "Well. I didn't say where I got the money…"

"Tch. Bastard. I'll make him pay later, un," Deidara said, eyes narrowed as he clenched his fists. Then he giggled, eye twitching, and Shikamaru stepped away.

Used to the blond's mental issues, Kisame loaded the cages into two cardboard boxes and held out a hand. "Two twenty-five even." He wiggled his fingers. "Pay up."

Shikamaru and Deidara both pulled out their wallets and between them indeed paid up. "I'll come by later for food," Shikamaru said as he reached for one of the boxes.

"You just want an excuse to visit your  _boyfriend_ ," Deidara said, smirking.

The Nara choked.

Kisame just snorted. "Hey fucker. Get laid."

Sticking his tongue out, the blond carefully picked up the second box. "He doesn't deny it." He sniffed and headed for the door.

If Shikamaru hadn't been holding a box of spiders, he would have facepalmed. "… he's lucky it would be too troublesome to destroy him," he muttered irritably.

"Get Naruto to lift some more of his pocket money and pay Kakuzu," Kisame drawled. "There, easy." Finally cracking into a wry grin, he reached out and lightly nudged Nara in the shoulder. "You know, you  _can_ walk away from me. He's not the only one who's noticed."

Blinking, the younger boy tilted his head and quirked a brow. "Nah. You're not bad company. Besides, it'd be too much of a pain to replace you." He grinned.

Kisame barked out a laugh. "Go me." He waved a hand at the box. "Get those critters out of here. And talk to Kakuzu. He might give you a discount since it's Deidara."

"Good idea. I'll give him a ring," Shikamaru said, smiling. He shifted the box. "See you later." And turned to leave too. (Especially since, divested of his own burden, Deidara had doubled back to glare through the window at him.) "I'm coming, I'm coming, damn girl…"

Grinning wide, Blue boy leaned back against the counter and cheerfully waved a middle finger at Dei. Despite appearances, the fucker had done him a favour by bringing up their status. Even after a few weeks, Shika was hard to read.

Speaking of Shikamaru… at the door, the boy paused. "You have any plans at about… 8AM next Thursday? I need somewhere to hide all day and pretend to be sick," he said, frowning.

Impatiently, Deidara jerked open the door, took the spiders, and stalked back to his truck.

"I'll be free," Kisame said, tilting his head.  _Damn, old man Sarutobi hit them early this year._ "Sooo glad I'm out."

"Lucky," Shikamaru said, smirked faintly, and went out to get into Deidara's truck.

Five minutes later, a mother and a small girl walked into the store. Three seconds later, they hurried right back out after coming face to face with Kisame's grin.

_And the manager thinks smiling is good for business. Fuck that shit._

xXx

Five minutes to the end of the last period, the PA system crackled to life. Students across campus froze.

"Ahem." Kakashi's disembodied voice sounded ashamed. And that was something, coming from a single sound. "Hey, I'm  _really_  sorry for saying this. And I'm sure you all know my views on—Ow! Hey! I'm not—" * _Crackle_ *

…

"—get on with it. Maah. Anyway.  _Yes_. The rumours are true, the torture will comme—OW! … The Educational Assembly will be taking place next week on Thursday… If you don't have your stashed doctor's notes ready now, you had better—Eeee!" * _Pop*_

…

* _Crackle_ * "—crazy woman… See? _This_ is why you don't have _…_ Oh crap.  **I didn't mean to** —"

…

Of all people, Shiranui Genma's voice came on. "In any case. The Assembly is not optional. Please be advised that any attempts at avoiding this Very Important Event will be investigated, innocent or not. You have been warned…" And just before the PA disconnected: "You people  _still_  can't do this right after all these years?" * _Pop_ *

And that was the end of the announcement.

xXx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell how much we have missed writing ridiculous situations? *grins*
> 
> Happy Holidays! Go out and enjoy yourselves!  
> (Or if you're like me, relax and entrench yourself in your latest RPG video game addiction).


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakuzu's back, and the first thing he does is procure time with Tenten. Go figure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to our second favourite crack couple! (Even if Tenten's still in denial.)

Kakuzu was seated in the Junk yard office, waiting for Hidan to return from his rounds. He had called out of work for the day, but he had still attended his afternoon classes. Then he'd killed time with Itachi on campus for a bit, checked in on Sakura—she was great, and thrilled to see him already going stir-crazy. (She signed his cast, snickering the whole time.)

When Hidan swung by campus on his way to work, Kakuzu had willingly let the albino drive off with him. Hinata was apparently already at work, and he didn't really want to pace around an empty apartment  _with nothing to do_. And so, the Junk yard.

At least here, he had his best friend. Hidan was an idiot, but he was entertaining. When he wasn't on his rounds.

Somewhere in the depths of his backpack, a Chinese tune—one of those cheesy jingle-like ones—made itself known. Kakuzu's brow twitched.  _Dammit, Hidan, stop fucking with my ringtones_. Nonetheless, he retrieved it to see that Tenten was calling. He answered. " _Moshimoshi_."

" _Hey! Just wanted to see how you were holding up_ ," Tenten's voice was strained, but she actually sounded cheerful. " _Still high on painkillers?"_

"Not as much. Had to hold off until after classes, so I only took them a little while ago," he admitted. "But I'm doing fine otherwise. What are you doing?"

" _Nothing important. This just feels really weird_ …"

Frowning, the money monger sat back in his chair, shifting his arm to try and get more comfortable. "What, calling me? You didn't have to," he pointed out, a little confused.

" _What? No, no. That's not it. Calling you makes sense. It's—Well, I'm participating in an after-school art project and Sai's using clay. It's really cold. And squishy. And I'm not supposed to move_." There was a pause as Sai's voice murmured something in the background. " _And I just wiggled too much. Dammit_."

…. "You…" Kakuzu was speechless for a beat. Then, "What the  _hell?!"_

"…  _And maybe I shouldn't have told you that_ …" Tenten muttered. " _Don't kill him, I did this consensually_."

He ground his teeth for a moment, fighting down the urge to get up and go kill something. He drew a deep breath, and reminded himself that she  _wasn't his girlfriend_  or  _anything similar_  so he had no right to be jealous. A few more seconds ticked by before he growled out, "Did  _what_  consensually?"

" _Uh… It's kinda hard to explain… No Sai, I don't think that would… No. Just no_." She sighed. " _Sai is planning on opening his own gallery eventually and… he needs models_."

A gallery. Money. He could understand that. "How much is he paying you to do this?"

" _Er._.." Tenten giggled. " _He got me really good cup of coffee_."

Too little. "Hold the phone to his ear," Kakuzu demanded.

She didn't respond right away. " _Why?"_

"He's not paying you enough. Put it to his ear, woman," Kakuzu huffed. "I'm not going to threaten his manhood or anything." So long as Sai was reasonable.

" _Oh god, I suddenly have an agent_." Mutinous words, but he could hear amusement. " _Sai.._."

A beat, then, " _Yes, Chuushin-sama?_ "

Cocky little brat. "Coffee is not adequate payment."

" _Oh? I see. What is, then?_ "

"No less than $200."

A beat, and a hum. " _$100_."

"$150."

" _$110 and a coffee every day for two weeks._ "

"Fine."

Sai's smile was audible. " _Pleasure doing business with you, Chuushin-sama! Here's Tenten back_."

Her laughter accompanied the transfer. And then: " _Oh fuck—Sorry Sai_.. _. Yeah, I'll be careful._ " She snorted. " _Especially now that this is apparently a job._   _Happy now, Kakuzu_?"

He scoffed. "No. But mollified," he admitted. "What are your plans for afterward? I have nothing else to do for the rest of the day,  _at least_." His doctor had  _strongly advised_  a couple of days off (considering Kakuzu's normal schedule, it was just easier to cut off entirely than to hold back), and Kakuzu had decided he needed sleep anyway so had accepted the advice… except for school.

" _You? Mollified? I'm amazed you know the word,_ " Tenten teased. " _Appeased would probably be a better term. Hmm… I'm heading downtown to pick up a few things. After that, I'm supposed to be studying from now till eight, but I won't be able to read those textbooks without falling asleep._ "

"You want company?"

She hummed. " _As long as it's just you… Sai, don't look at me like that… Shut up_."

Kakuzu snorted. "Yes, it is. Hinata and Hidan will both be working until late," he reminded her.

" _Right, hmm. So where am I picking you up from_?"

He shifted again, as Hidan stepped back into the room. "You know the junk yard just off highway eighty on the outskirts of town?" He waited for her affirmative hum. "I'm in the office with Hidan. This is where he works, you can pick me up here."

"Who's that, Tenten?" the albino asked, and smirked when his friend glared at him.

" _Okay… I should be leaving in_ …" Sai's voice again in the background. Tenten laughed. " _If I stay still, I can be free in twenty. I'll just call you when I'm on my way. Shouldn't be more than half an hour to get there_."

Kakuzu grunted. "See you then. I have to go beat up my best friend now."

Laughter. " _Shit—Sorry! Bye, Kakuzu! Have fun!"_

His brow furrowed. "Yeah…" He hung up, and frowned at his phone for a minute. "… I don't know how to feel about this…"

"What?" Hidan blinked at him.

"Sai. Sculpting."

"Tenten?"

"… yeah."

"He payin' her?"

"Yes."

"Leave it alone then." Hidan shrugged. "'Less she's uncomfortable…?"

Kakuzu shook his head and exhaled. "No. That's why I'm wondering." He scowled as Hidan burst into laughter, and reached for a nearby binder.

xXx

Tossing her phone onto her pile of clothing, Tenten tried to stop her giggles. "I'm really sorry. Really!"

"If you were  _really sorry really_ ," Sai said as he circled with more clay, "You would  _stop moving_. You're being  _very_  frustrating at the moment."

She held up her right hand. "I swear to stay still." And grinned.

For all the horrified and confused looks her friends gave her when she finally told the artist yes, this was actually fun. Just… cold and squishy. The smooth clay felt slimy against her skin even through the biker shorts she wore.

He snorted. "We shall  _see_ ," he answered, dubiously. And continued about pressing in the clay to smooth out the cracks or thicken spots that were too thin. A few moments of quiet passed, then, "I heard this… rumor…"

"Which one?" Tenten asked wryly. "There are several."

Sai grinned as he glanced up at her. "I would have asked Hinata-san earlier, but… this morning she was a walking zombie, and this afternoon she didn't have time." He paused, patting a place near her hip. "Did the… hm. Did Kakuzu-san really get his arm broken in a fight at the cafe?"

She  _nearly_  twisted around to face him despite her hips being locked between two mangled desks and a whole shit-load of clay. "Ah, that one. Yeah, he did."

He nodded. "Good," he said, firmly, and stepped back. "Now you just have to be still for a little while longer." He narrowed his eyes at her. "Can you manage that?"

Lips trembling, she grinned at him. "Just don't make me laugh and we're kosher." Holding her balance, she took in a slow breath, and then exhaled.  _Meditation practice come in handy in strange ways._  "Why did you say, 'good'?"

"You've been smiling more.  _That_ is very good," he said, sitting down. He tilted his head. "The books say excessive smiling means you're  _very happy_ , and so I must deduce that Kakuzu getting into a fight in that cafe was good."

Tenten frowned. "That's not… Hmm…" In a way… kinda. Yeah. "When it was actually happening, I certainly wasn't happy about it," she admitted, her brow smoothing out. "After though…" What was it? Three solid hours of being with Kakuzu from start to finish? "Huh, you're right."

He smiled at her. "So. How are you going to avoid  _it_? Or are you females immune to Tsunade-sama's terrorizing techniques?" He blinked.

"… Sai…" She turned her head to stare hard at a sculpture of feet. "Making me laugh is a bad idea…"

He frowned. "I was not aware that was funny to you, but I concede your point." He paused. "Actually, I am somewhat looking forward to the event. There will surely be some rather intriguing happenings… I understand Deidara-san is up to something concerning arachnids."

Tenten wrinkled her nose. "So that's what he's up to," she muttered. "He wouldn't tell us. Hmm…" Tilting her head, Tenten considered his question. "I don't find it as… horrifying as the guys do. I think mostly because girls aren't as focused on genetalia—" She broke off with a blink. "Well, not  _ours_ , anyway." She recalled on sex-ed course in grade six. The girls in her class giggled constantly over the diagrams in the  _blue_ half.

"Mostly, the men are concerned for the continued existence of their genitalia," he responded blandly, and smiled.

Tenten snorted, then stilled as Sai's eyes narrowed at the movement. "I'm good, I'm good!" she protested with a smile. "And I don't blame the guys for wanting the continued existence, but we girls don't  _feel_  the threat as much as you boys do. I think the guys are just playing up the drama, which I get too. It's kinda fun, neh?"

"I think more of them are more afraid of it than you think," Sai said, amused. "I mean, most of them haven't lived their entire lives enduring the threats of others… Not like me." He considered that. "I'm more used to it."

Stomping down on the urge to laugh, Tenten beamed at him. "Yeah, I bet you are."

He just echoed the smile.

xXx

Ten minutes after Kakuzu had been picked up by Tenten, the door to the office opened. "Forget something fu—" Hidan had looked up, and his words froze in his throat. Panicking a little, he scrambled to his feet. "Eh, er, hi, Hyuuga-san…" He stared at the man who was looking curiously around his place of work. He'd  _known_  this was coming eventually, but he'd honestly expected it sooner.

Somehow, the albino felt like he should be doing something that at least  _looked_  like work, rather than just standing there gaping at the man. So, to busy his hands, he reached out to fake tidying the papers on the desk.

"Can I help you?" he asked as he shuffled around.

Even while standing three feet inside the shabby office, leather shoes firmly planted on grungy (read never-been-washed- _ever_ ) scuffed grey floor, the Hyuuga man still managed to pull off cool, pristine, and… unrelentingly austere. How the fuck did Hinata deal with him for all her life?

"Hnn." Hiashi cast a glance at the couches and the armchair—Hidan did  _not_  wince—and dismissed them. "My apologies. I did not warn you I was coming." One eyebrow twitched. "Have you been here at this position for long?"

That little piece of Hidan's brain—far smaller than most people had—that contained his 'stay on people's good sides' suggestion (otherwise known as a filter)—shut off. Or maybe sputtered and died. Either way, Hidan opened his mouth. "Hell yeah, I have. Since fucking eighth grade." He'd always been crazy; Kakuzu said it was his most irritating and endearing trait (okay not in those words). And back then, even though he'd been much smaller, it had landed him the job.

Which suited him just fine. "Got somethin' to say about it?"

Those dark eyebrows swept upwards. "Only that it is a large responsibility for a teenager to hold, especially throughout the night. Have you always been the only one here for graveyard?"

Hidan eyed the man suspiciously. That sounded uncomfortably close to appraising. Or maybe calculating? Aw shit, he was bad with this… "Yeah. 'Less I was in a  _coma_ …" And hadn't that been an interesting thing to wake up from. Deidara had looked like he wanted to  _cry_ , before Kakuzu smacked him. "I'm always here. Ain't anything else gonna stop me."

Nodding, the Hyuuga half turned, taking in the bookshelf of binders, the coffee pot, the dusty aluminum blinds… "You don't plan for anything else?" He paused and stared right into Hidan's eyes. "Any ambitions?"

Hidan almost demanded what business it was of the older man's. Then he reminded himself that Hiashi wasn't just Hyuuga Neji's guardian, he was Hinata's  _father_. "Got plenty ambitions," he retorted. "Most o' them got a lot to do with Hinata."

The old man's posture tensed right up. "For instance?"

The albino smirked; point one went to him. "Like dinner, Saturday night," he said, and scoffed.

"Aah." Hiashi settled back on his heels and considered that. "Do you have a place in mind?" he finally asked, in a  _very_  neutral tone.

Looking unimpressed, the boy shrugged. "Nope."

"Do you know the name of her favourite restaurant?"

A beat past.  _Point two, Hyuuga. Fucking hell._  "… no?"

Hands clasped before him, Hiashi sucked in a breath. "I have a proposal," he said in a tight voice. "It is obvious Hinata cares much for you, of which… I cannot understand. However," he held up a hand, "my opinion in this matter, is of very little importance." Hiashi paused, back rigid, lips pressed thin. "I wish to… understand you. If you would  _allow_ us to… talk… for a short while, every so often, then I will give you insights such as Hinata adores the Fresh Box sushi restaurant as recompense… Please."

 _Blink_. Another brief silence. Hidan now had to tell himself that laughing at the man wasn't going to help  _at all_. And hell, if  _Kakuzu_  could restrain himself to beating Neji senseless instead of hospitalizing him (or killing him), then it'd be really embarrassing for Hidan to forgo  _possibly_  making Hinata happier for a laugh. He held his tongue until he was sure he wouldn't laugh in the man's face.

"Alright. Heh," whoops, "we can try. But I'm only doin' it for brownie points."

Hiashi relaxed far enough to  _sigh_. "And you believe I am doing this for any other reason?"

Hidan grinned widely. "Hey, I like honesty! Maybe this won't be so bad after all," he said, and flopped down into his chair. "Sit. Let's chat."

Grimacing slightly, Hinata's dad glanced down at the sofa again, and with the air of suffering in silence, sat down across from Hidan. "I am glad then; we have some common ground."

"Fair enough. I'll do you a solid, then—when I have something to say, I'll fucking say it, and I won't lie to you," Hidan said, firmly, thoughtfully. "And I won't lie for you. Least, not to Hinata."

"The purpose of these visits is to gain an understanding of you," Hiashi said mildly. "It would be rendered pointless if you were to act differently than who you are." His brows lifted. "You are most welcome to relay these conversations to my daughter. In fact, your honesty would do nothing but help my cause."

The albino nodded. "Sure. Whatever 'helps'." Air quotes included. "How you wanna do this?" He paused. "Also, if we're gonna do this while I'm at work, you'll have to put the timer on pause every half hour. I have rounds I need to do."

"Perfectly understandable." Hiashi frowned slightly. "How did you catch my daughter's attention?"

 _Blink_. Hidan considered that a moment, then mentally shrugged—he'd asked. "I asked her for a fuck."

Hiashi's pale face went even paler. The old man didn't say anything for a good few seconds, just tightened his hand over the other until Hidan could swear he could hear the bones grinding. " _And her response_?"

Hidan grinned.  _Third point,_ _ **me**_ _._  "No. Duh. I thought you  _knew_  your daughter?"

Pale eyes glared. Oh, they fucking  _glared_. "When it comes to  _you_ , she is a different person."

At that, Hidan's humor faded a little. "Yeah, you mean she's not a mouse." He leaned back, crossing his arms. "And it's a good fucking thing too. Suits her better, not being afraid to speak up for herself."

Hiashi looked away. Neither spoke as the old man sat and stewed in thought. "She is happier this way," he said quietly, gaze slowly coming back to Hidan, "and grown in spirit and character since moving away." Blowing out a sigh, the man nodded. "Hinata is an astonishing young woman in her own right."

 _'Bout damn time he admitted it. Any of them. Fucking Hyuugas._  "Yes. She is." He glanced at the clock. "Got any questions or anything you wanna get out of the way before I do my rounds?"

Still distracted, Hiashi shook his head slowly, then seemed to think of something. "Will my visits cause you trouble if I continue to meet you here? Or would you prefer we meet outside of your workplace?"

Shrugging, Hidan considered that. While it was true that any of the other guys could happen upon these meetings (and subsequently give him shit for it), it was also a risk meeting the man any other time. Like hell he was sharing his time with Hinata with her  _dad_. "Nah. It'll be fine… just, if an old guy with a penchant for alcohol comes in, you're an artist." He grinned a touch smugly.

Hiashi's brows shot right up. "I'll be sure to bring a sketchpad next time," he murmured, lips twitching.

Hidan laughed outright at that. "Just don't let 'im convince you to sketch something," he snickered, and got up. "I'll be back, man. Don't touch anything." He glanced toward the camera in the corner, pointedly, and grabbed up a baseball bat. Then seemed to reconsider. "You wanna come with?"

xXx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if there are mistakes in here, I kinda rushed this out!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Nope. Sorry, but I've already been informed that using actual bodily fluids will get me fired. Again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! If you're hungry (or even just a tad peckish) the beginning of this chapter will not improve your situation.

Kisame's house was in the suburbs, which was both odd and enlightening at the same time. When Shikamaru had gotten the address, some of his disbelief might have shown because Kisame had laughed and asked if it was really that surprising. After seeing the guy's back yard though, it wasn't that hard to believe at all.

The Hoshigakis had a _huge_ pool out back. As in, it took up most of the yard. There was maybe four to six feet of slate around the water, no grass, and enough toys and summer accessories to fill a small shed. Which it did if you considered that Kisame's dad had to park out on the driveway because there was no more space in the garage.

On a side note... the _female_ Hoshigaki-san rode a motorcycle and Kisame got his colouring from her. His mom was a paler blue than Kisame, but the eyes and the skin were definitely hers. And Hoshigaki-san didn't seem to be older than... maybe Arashi Asuma.

Said Hoshigaki-san was giving her son the stink eye.

"And you were going to tell me we were going to have a visitor _when_ , kingyo?"

"Definitely today," Kisame replied, grinning. "In fact, right now. Kaa-san, meet Nara Shikamaru. Shika, Kaa-san." Leaning around his mom, the younger shark whispered, "Careful, she bites."

"Excuse me?!"

Shikamaru looked between them, and quickly interrupted before Kisame got himself into serious trouble (somehow, he felt like Kisame did often). "It's nice to meet you, Hoshigaki-dono." He offered a deep bow, thinking maybe his mother's insistence that he _learn_ manners wasn't a bad idea in the long run.

(Just because he rarely used them didn't mean he _couldn't_ after all.)

Turning back to face him, Hoshigaki-san huffed. "It's good to finally meet you as well, Nara. Not sure what you see in my kid... but, eh. C'mon in." She stepped aside, shoving her son back to clear the way. "There's nacho material in the kitchen, kingyo can be a proper host for once... I'm sure he can do _that_ at least."

Kisame rolled his eyes as he moved out of the way of her elbow. "Hai." Reaching out with one beefy arm, he hugged his mom around the shoulders and kissed her on the cheek. "Have fun, and don't forget, grandmas are only ten points, squirrels are fifty."

"If you get doubles, you get an extra ten points, Sai informs me," Shikamaru told the other male, and smiled when the woman glanced his way. "Have a pleasant day, ma'am."

Blinking once, Kisame's mom snorted. "All of a sudden, things are becoming clearer. Right, I'm off. Don't trash the house and don't forget, Tou-san is back at six. Don't be naked."

"Er..." Evidently, Kisame had lost his tongue. As he stood opening and closing his mouth, Hoshigaki-dono patted his bright purple cheek, beamed at Shikamaru, and slipped out the door.

The Nara leaned back against the wall, shoulders slumping and muscles all but giving out. "I haven't expended that much energy since I helped Naruto prank Uchiha," he grumbled. _What a pain._

Kisame chuckled sheepishly. "You want food or the couch?"

"That's a serious question," Shikamaru responded, gaze drifting in the direction of the living room. "... eh. Food _then_ couch."

Smirking, Blue Boy nodded and lead the way to the monstrosity of black granite and stainless steel that the Hoshikagis called their kitchen. "Nachos okay?"

"Sure. Can they be spicy?" the younger male asked, hands stuffed into his pockets.

"Hell yeah. Kaa-san's a wimp at it, but Tou-san and I keep the good stuff for ourselves." Rounding the corner of the middle island cabinet, his host gestured at the stools lining the counter. "Take a seat, this'll take maybe five minutes."

Shikamaru nodded and flopped down onto a stool, practically draping himself over the counter immediately following. "Kay." A beat, as he listened to the rustling of a chip bag and the sound of the fridge opening. Then, "Got coffee?"

One blue hand lifted from the fridge door to point at the counter on the other side. "Machine's over there; help yourself," Kisame replied around the double doors. "Just pick a capsule and pop it in."

Grunting, the darker-haired boy pressed his palm against the countertop and shoved himself up. He slowly made his way to the coffee pot and poked it. "... How much did this thing _cost_ —? No, don't answer that, it's too troublesome to contemplate."

He shook his head and reached over to grab one of the little containers stacked in two neat rows to the side. He popped it into the slot and frowned. Eyed the... _tank_ , for lack of a better word, attached to the side. The water was okay, so... he opened the door immediately above the machine, finding mugs, put one in place and pressed the start button.

"... Okay. That was simple."

"Eh, Kaa-san doesn't like waiting for a whole pot."

Shikamaru turned to look at the other boy, head tilting slightly. "I can empathize with her," he said. "Though... I think Ino would more than me. Personally, I don't mind the time I can nap between turning the pot on and getting the coffee." Unless he was in a hurry… which wasn't often.

Setting a jug of salsa down next to the guacamole, jalapenos, cheese, and chips, Kisame snorted. "You and sleep," he said, spreading chips over a metal plate. "Oh right." Reaching back, he tugged open the fridge and a tomato joined the lineup.

"What, _you_ don't like sleep?" the Nara asked with a quirked brow.

"Not as much as you." Kisame slid a knife out from the block and started in on the tomato. "Dude, you take it to an addict's level."

A shrug. "If we're being technical, sleep is _the_ most addictive thing in the history of _ever_." Quirking a grin, Shikamaru added, "Ever tried going without? Indefinitely? Your brain starts screwing you over."

Tossing chunks of red among the chips, Blue Boy grinned. "Uh huh. And how long have you ever been awake for?"

Pause. Blink. "... five hours?"

"What for?" Glops of mashed avocado was added via spoon as Kisame tilted his head.

"I was running from mom," Shikamaru admitted. "She kept finding me. Was trying to cut my hair. Eventually I went over to Choji's and hid in his closet... where no one found me for... like, an entire day." He paused, thinking fondly back on those gloriously hassle-free twenty four hours. "Luckily, that was where Choji hid his food stash."

Snickering, Kisame reached over and batted at the spikes of his ponytail. "Obviously, she got to you in the end. What was so bad about getting a haircut?"

The younger boy leaned out of reach, mock-frowning. "I was ten. She was cutting into my quality 'alone' time." He paused, reconsidering. Actually, that wasn't entirely accurate, if he were honest with himself. It'd had more to do with being _just like dad_ than it had with being alone. "Or something like that. And yeah, eventually she got me anyway. That woman's tenacious."

Kisame nodded as he finished up the nacho plate. "Tell me 'bout it. Kaa-san's been on my case about college since I was twelve." Holding it up, he turned and slid it into an over-sized toaster oven. "Sweet, almost done."

"Cool." Shikamaru paused, wondering what else to say.

Not that he really needed to... That was one of the things he kind of really liked about hanging out with Kisame. The older boy was troublesome sometimes, but there were other times that it was just... really relaxing. No demands, no worries, no wondering. Completely chilled out.

The Nara's phone, in his back pocket, beeped, proving to be quite contrary to his thoughts. Blinking, he pulled it out and looked at it. His brow twitched. "Definitely talking to Chuushin," he said decisively.

Standing by the coffee machine, Kisame grinned as he grabbed a glass cup from the cupboard. "Left my phone upstairs on purpose."

Shikamaru nodded, and the phone beeped again. And again. "You've gotta be kidding me... really, man?" he mumbled, scowling as it beeped twice more before going silent. _That's not clever at all, Toji. Really, it's not._

On the screen, declared almost _cheerfully_ , was the old children's rhyme about trees and marriage and kissing. Only the last line was edited from 'baby in a baby carriage' to 'baby from an orphanage'. "Your friend has the maturity of a ten-year-old girl."

"The type that gets kicked out from the cool group. Trust me, I know." Still amused, the shark crossed the kitchen and peered over Shika's shoulder. "Make that repeatedly kicked out."

Shikamaru sighed and clicked the power-save button, stuffing the device back into his pocket without replying. "Then why haven't you kicked him out yet?"

Shrugging as he moved on to the fridge, Kisame answered over his shoulder, "Kakuzu needs a punching bag that _isn't_ Hidan. Pyro fits the job just fine."

"And why hasn't _Chuushin_ —" Shikamaru stopped, brow furrowing. "Nevermind," he groaned and shook his head. "Anyway, I'm just hoping someone tapes the assembly. Should be entertaining, but I wasn't going to stick around to find out."

Kisame looked up from pouring himself a cola. "Asuma will have footage. Between him and Sarutobi, fuck, not much gets missed." He blinked at Shikamaru's expression. "You didn't know that?"

There was a beat, during which Shikamaru allowed his view of the world to realign itself. Then he sighed and shook his head. "I shouldn't be surprised," he admitted. "Sarutobi-sensei and Naruto are really close... It's ridiculous."

"The old man's a sadist. Plain and simple," Kisame said with a grunt, shutting the fridge. He turned with a frown. "Oi..." * _Ding_ * He grinned. "Perfect." Slipping on an oven mitt, Kisame gestured at the living room. "I'll bring the nachos over. Can you grab the drinks?"

Shikamaru blinked, but nodded and fetched both his coffee and his date's cola before heading toward the indicated area. He set them down on coasters on the coffee table as the blue teen dropped a thick towel over the wood and set the nachos down on it.

Dropping down on the opposite couch, Kisame pulled off the mitt and grinned. "So what was Dei gonna do with those spiders?"

The younger male took a careful sip of his coffee and shook his head. "I'll let you wait to see the footage," he replied flatly, but the corner of his mouth twitched. "Suffice to say... Naruto would be proud—will be, is—there will be a mob of people out for the blood of those responsible, and I get to be _here_ where it's not loud and possibly fatal to so much as be _male_." He paused. "Also, I think Shino was _very_ happy when Deidara started enlisting."

Kisame blinked once, slowly. "Shino... is the kid with the fangs?" He motioned at his cheeks with a chip. "And the red marks?"

 _Snort_. "That's Kiba. Shino's the guy with the hood and the sunglasses and the penchant for high collars," the younger corrected. "You know, the one that hid in the tree back during that water thing in Suna, and ambushed Naruto and Sakura." He paused, eyes narrowing slightly at Kisame's continued blank look. "No? Oh well."

"Sorry, must have been dodging snow balls at the time," the shark said with a shrug. Then he grinned. "Man, the Kiba guy was pissed when I dumped him in the tub!" As Kisame chomped down on another chip, Shikamaru realized that if he didn't start eating soon, the nachos would be gone.

Sighing, the Nara reached out and scooped up a chip, keeping his free hand under it so none of the topping would fall onto the floor (or the _couch_ ). "Yeah," he muttered. "He whined about it for a while." And stuffed the snack into his mouth before it had any more of a chance of possibly falling.

Smirking, Kisame hummed around his own mouthful. Smug and content, he picked up one of the three controls on the table and pointed it at the sound system. "Hm... Meh." He must have hit the random button, because some Korean pop song came on mid-verse. Kisame blinked and rolled his eyes as ' _Hey, sexy lady_!' boomed through the room. "Fucking hell—Shut _up_." And he changed the track.

The other male choked on his second chip, but somehow managed not to laugh as he chewed. When he swallowed, he grinned at Kisame. "Please tell me that's not yours," he said, reaching for his coffee.

"Worse. It's Tou-san's."

This time, Shikamaru _did_ laugh.

xXx

After all was said and done, there were only—perhaps—three males in the entire student body that were unbothered by the horrible experience that was the Sex Ed Assembly. Only three. Sai was cackling over it for hours, more pleased than anything else (he'd gotten good material, was his only explanation). Haku thought the lot of them were ridiculous and needed to grow up, and would not offer anyone any sort of condolences (or memory powder, no matter how many times Naruto pleaded). And Tobi?

Well…

"... and then he hid under my seat! Tobi has never been more happy in all his life," the boy sighed from his spot beside Hinata. His lunch was thus far untouched, since he'd been wasting so much time babbling about the exciting experience.

A muffled giggle made its way past the thermos Hinata was drinking from. When she lowered it, her eyes were crinkled in amusement. "There's not much room under there, is there?" she asked with a smile. "How long was he like that?"

"Until Tsunade-sama found Shino-kun and was distracted by him. Then Deidara-san went and hid with Naruto-san in _that_ place," Tobi said, beaming. "I think they're still there!"

Humming, Hinata looked out over the quad. "You know… A year ago, I would not have imagined all of us getting along so well." She nibbled on her chicken sandwich. "Kind of amazing, isn't it?"

Tobi blinked, derailed at the sudden change of subject, and eyed her for a beat. "Yeah," he said finally, brow lifting. "Um… Are you okay?"

She blushed prettily and her gaze dropped into her lap. "I had a talk with Hanabi-chan last night. She misses me… so we talked about what it was like when I still lived at home." Hinata fiddled with her napkin. "Made me think of Neji and when we used to eat together. Not that eating with you isn't wonderful!" she added in a rush, raising her head, eyes large. "Just… that it was different then."

The boy considered that for a few minutes, using the time to catch up on eating, then hummed. "Well, we all change. These are the years we must use to learn to be adults…." He paused, head tilting. "Not that things cannot be like they were, Hinata-kun." One hand reached out to pat hers, and he smiled widely. "At least in a way! You made up with Neji-san, didn't you? And you can be friends with Naruto-san, and Tenten-san. Maybe, even, your family will eventually learn to accept that you're different, and things will be like they were. But better! Are you going to eat that cupcake?"

Without a word, Hinata handed over the cupcake. But she seemed to be really thinking, so that was alright. Besides, Tobi had a chocolate cupcake now! "Thank you!"

xXx

As usual, the first thing Gekkō Hayate heard walking into the classroom was one of the Three. This time it was Lee, newest to the class after Tobi transferred out.

"Naruto-kun! I am surprised at you! Nobunaga-sama would _never_ have said that about his son!"

Two other mouths opened to shout—whatever it would be, Hayate didn't care. "Hello everyone!" he called out. "Heads up, I have an announcement." In a strange way, he was actually going to miss this bunch. Shaking his head, he strode to the middle of the room, taking in the grudging regard from the class. It had taken him a whole month to get to this point and now… _Ah, what a waste_.

There were a few mumbles from one part of the room, where Naruto was looking annoyed at being interrupted. Nobody else spoke up, and they were all waiting. Particularly Sai, whose expression was open and rather… Well he was probably up to something again.

Hiding the smirk, Hayate clasped his hands at his back and cleared his throat. "It has been an interesting two months, but I am afraid that I will no longer be teaching this class." In the back, Kiba dropped his jaw. Choji, who sat next to him, frowned and right on cue…

"But Hayate-san! You can't leave!" Lee had shot to his feet." Have we caused you distress? Has something happened? Why—"

"Hey, that's not fair!" Naruto was, of course, yelling over his friend. "I was starting to like you!"

Sai was now pouting a bit, and woefully making some note in the journal before him. Others looked like they wanted to interject, but at that moment—the door burst open suddenly. Several students startled badly, two falling right out of their seats.

And his purple-haired replacement was waltzing in with a huge grin like she _owned_ the place. Poor bastards. "Yo! How goes, you nutsos? Nice to meet ya, I'm Anko! Just Anko, you call me by my family name and I'll punch you in the throat. He's already gone over everything, right?" The confused, horrified looks were answer enough, and the woman blinked as she looked at the clock. "Damn, early. Whoops."

Hayate coughed, hiding a grin behind a fist. "Just a bit," he murmured, then straightened to meet the betrayed, and a few accusatory, stares. "Class, meet Anko-san. She's taught this course before so she knows exactly what she's doing. No, Lee, it's not your fault, or anyone else's. Things just… happen." _Surprisingly well orchestrated in this case_ , Hayate thought, taking a step back as Anko took the 'stage'.

As her voice rose, Hayate bowed himself out. He sighed when the door clicked shut behind him and turned to the man waiting in the hall. "I _like_ those kids," he admitted.

Genma snorted. "No you don't. Or you would have told them she's sadistic too."

"Compared to you, she's easy," Hayate shot back, shoving his friend's shoulder as they ambled towards the exit. His desk was already cleaned out and the school material returned…

Turning around just outside, Genma raised a brow at Hayate's hesitation on the threshold. "You know Sarutobi's gonna call you for random security detail, right? You'll be back."

Grunting, Hayate stepped out into the watery sunshine. "That's kind of what I'm dreading." He grinned. "I'm looking forward to what Naruto-kun's going to have prepped for me." Cuz all the world knew that Naruto knew _exactly_ who his grandad called in, and when. "So! A wood shop? Do you even know anything else?"

"Shut up, drama queen."

"Make me, Pinocchio."

Meanwhile back in the classroom…

"... and that's why you should watch how you behave—" Anko was saying, but Naruto had apparently had enough.

"Waaaaiiitt a second!" the blond shouted unnecessarily. "Weren't you here at the THD last year?"

Sai blinked. "She was?" He hadn't noticed. Then again, he'd been distracted talking with Kisame about… something he couldn't recall.

"Yeah!" Naruto snapped, arms crossed.

Anko was grinning.

In the crowd, Kiba was nodding. "She handed Konan the spork," he said, a grin spreading. "Best display of teacher-student planning ever."

"But Konan-san _hurt_ that random-student-whose-name-I-can't-remember," Lee objected, trailing off with a disturbed expression.

Down at his feet, Choji glanced up. "I can't tell if you're more upset that she resorted to violence or that you can't remember the poor kid's name."

Lee blushed and sat back down as Kiba laughed. "The guy had it coming, Lee," Kiba assured him. "He was staring at her _ass_."

"He _touched_ her ass," Anko corrected mildly, looking unbothered at being caught.

Sai raised his hand, tilting his head. When Anko blinked at him, he took that as leave to continue. "Was it a spork, or a spoon? I've heard both," he said.

Anko blinked a few more times and actually seemed to be considering the question. "Spork," she decided eventually. "I think. I don't know why I would have been carrying around a _spoon_ …"

"You mean you had a reason to be carrying a _spork_?" Haku asked, brows furrowing in concern. It was hard to tell, but he may have been wondering about the sanity of his classmates… and probably the teacher too.

"Obviously," she said, but didn't go into detail, and yeah, okay that was really worrying. Huffing, she leaned back against the desk, surveying them all in their various seats on the rather comfortable furniture in the room.

"Alright, so I've been debriefed on all of you—not that I don't know you each by reputation alone, of course. And I've got this to say—Naruto, if you prank me, I swear to the gods, you will get a punishment that will make _Tsunade-hime_ cringe. Kiba, if you let him, or talk him into it, you will share in that punishment. Sai, don't you have anything better to do than talking people into dropping their pants? Choji—no eating in class unless it's part of the lesson. _Make sure_ it's part of the lesson." Her eyes narrowed. "Lee, if I hear the word 'youth' come out of your mouth, I will go and kick Gai in the balls." She paused to let Naruto and Kiba snicker themselves out, amused at the paleness of Lee's face. "Haku, nice to meet you."

The pretty boy in question offered a smile in response. "Zabuza-san says you're welcome to dinner any time," he said cheerfully.

"Yeah that so figures," she muttered, and sniffed. "Any questions?"

Kiba raised his hand. "Can we use real blood in the show now?"

Anko laughed. "Nope. Sorry, but I've already been informed that using actual bodily fluids will get me fired. Again."

Naruto slumped. "Dammit." Dog boy leaned over to whisper something in his ear, and he perked. "Hey, what about getting the art classes to be or do props?"

Actually, that wasn't a bad idea. She pretended to consider it, then nodded slowly. "Alright, that could be do-able, however, I leave it up to you guys to speak with the art teacher, and the students."

"Could it be an extra credit deal?" Sai piped up, fully on-board. "That'd get more volunteers."

Good to know the volunteer bit went without saying. "Yeah. I'm willing to give a 100 percent grade to anyone that manages to get more than three people to volunteer, and I'll award the same to the volunteers." This might go over more smoothly than she'd hoped.

Grinning widely, Kiba snickered. "Is Duck-butt still behind in credits?" he asked Naruto, none-too-quietly.

"He's always behind in credits," the blond scoffed. "He keeps having to dodge Karin."

Both boys leaned back a little when Lee beamed at them. "Ah," he cooed. "The love of— _Agghhhck_ …" It seemed as if the boy had swallowed his tongue at the sudden sharpening of Anko's attention. He coughed. "Er. _Innocent_ love is so beautiful, don't you think, Choji-kun?" he finished determinedly.

The moon-faced boy turned to give Gai-sensei's protégé a smile. "I'm sure it is, Lee," he said amidst the chorus of snickers, "but I don't think it applies to Karin-chan."

"Choji-kun!" Lee spluttered.

Anko tried not to laugh herself sick. No wonder Hayate had liked these kids so much! Sai was even then twisting around on his stool to give Lee a flat look. "Karin is not _innocent_. Just ask Shokubutsu-san," he said, and grinned.

Haku gave the boy a startled look. "Zet—" he began, before cutting himself off and shaking his head firmly. "No, nevermind, it's not my business."

"I hear Two-Tone has brothers in a different school," Kiba added in a whisper. "Think Karin is interested in group activities?" His eyebrows waggled.

From the strangled sound coming from Lee's throat, his world and reality were finally communicating. Pity. Gai would be crying into his cups tonight.

xXx

As the last bell rang, the students long gone, Kurenai exhaled slowly. Relief was foremost, because dealing with that many traumatized teenagers wasn't _ever_ easy, and add _spiders_ on top of it— _A_ _uughhh…_ She shuddered. She would never look at spiders the same way again.

She was definitely going to have words with Toji first thing in the morning.

A knock on her classroom door drew her attention up, and she smiled genuinely for what seemed the first time that day. "Asuma," she greeted, standing, and waved him inside. "Come in. How'd it go?"

"It's a good thing those critters aren't poisonous," he answered with a grin. "I've been bitten three times already, though Kakashi is boasting he's had five." Leaning in, he brushed his lips over hers in a quick kiss as his arms wrapped around her. "You?"

"No tarantula sightings here," she said, arms sliding up around his shoulders. She rested her head on one. "Just lots and lots of freaking teenagers jumping at shadows. And last I heard, Kakashi was saying seven. I think he's keeping one in his desk."

The muscle under her cheek rose and fell as he shrugged. "Wouldn't be surprised," he muttered. "Hey, feel like skipping tomorrow?" For a fellow teacher, he should not sound so eager about shirking responsibility.

She straightened and frowned at him. "Really, Asuma?" she demanded, trying for her best scolding tone. "I'd _love_ to… unfortunately, I really don't get paid enough to do that." She gave him a regretful smile.

"That's what sick-leave is for," he shot back grinning. "Gotta look after your own personal mental health, right? All that stress, all that worrying… all those raging hormones…"

Kurenai was grinning just as widely by the time he'd finished. "You're a _horrible_ influence," she chided. "What did you have in mind?"

Humming, he nuzzled under her ear. "Three day weekend at the onsen sound good to you?"

"Hm. Depends on which onsen and whether or not you're paying," she teased, eyes fluttering closed.

Asuma chuckled. "The old man already paid for the trip in more ways than one and it's four hours due south." Meaning far away from any worries she'd have from here. "Sarutobi also made sure Naruto, Kakashi, and Jiraiya are housebound. Though, he can't vouch for Sai-kun," he tacked on as he kissed her pulse. "So? Your boss says we can go. What do you say?"

Laughing softly, she pulled back to meet his gaze. "Well, when you've gone to such lengths, how can I refuse?"

"Hmmm, I love it when you give in." He kissed her lightly on the nose. "Love it even more when you object." Laughing at her eye roll, Asuma dropped his arms and stepped back. "C'mon, let's get out of here before Deidara finds a way to add fire to those spiders."

xXx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first run though, I had switched Hayate's name around. Clueless as I was, Lost let me carry on thinking Gekkō was his given name for a whole scene. Yay me for catching it... what, years later? Ugh.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Yours too, of course. I like your breasts the best!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a bit late. Got distracted by life being... needy.  
> I'll try to make sure the next chapter is still on schedule!

Hinata had just walked into the kitchen when she saw the new hire's elbow nudge the stack of plates. Unfortunately for Kankuro-kun, she was too far away to help as the stack crashed down.

"Crap." Kakuro sighed as he stared down at the minor mountain of shattered porcelain. Out in the serving area, they heard several chuckles. "Sorry, boss!" he called out, nudging the pile with his foot.

"That's coming out of your paycheck," the owner sang out cheerfully.

"Whaa… Oh, fine." Grimacing, Kankuro took the broom Hinata offered him. He blinked at her once, then nodded. "Thanks, Hinata-chan."

Smiling slightly, she shook her head. "There's no point in pulling double shifts if this happens, Kankuro-san." Though, they really did appreciate him coming in to cover Rika's shift.

Cheap pottery scraped across painted cement as he swept the shards into the dustpan. "It seemed like a good idea at the time," he groused. Which was probably why the owner was so quick to bill him; overtime paid well.

"Make sure you sleep tonight, neh?"

"Yes, yes. Get to work," he said, raising the broom in mock threat.

Hinata graced him with one last smile as she picked up a tray of clean dishes and took them out to the front counter.

Deidara was waiting there for her, looking especially closed down for once. And it was scary when _Deidara_ , one of the most passionate people in the face of _ever_ , closed down. "Hey, Hinata, can I ask you a favor, un?"

"Of course, Dei-kun." Setting the tray down, Hinata frowned. "What's wrong?"

He hesitated, and sighed. "Um, can you talk Hidan into letting me stay for a bit? Like, I'll take a… a couch or something, un," he said, staring at some point over her shoulder. "I need a place to crash; mum kicked me out."

 _Blink_. "I'll make sure he says yes," she assured him. "Do you want to talk about it?" It wasn't that long ago that she had been afraid of the same thing happening to her. "Do you want some tea? Muffin?"

He met her gaze briefly, then looked down. "Yeah, I could use a muffin. I got money." He'd probably stolen it from his mother, knowing Deidara's sometimes spiteful anger. "And a cappucino, may as well, un."

"You get caffeine only this once," she told him with a smile. "And you're sitting in the kitchen." The owner had caught her eye and had pointed to the back. Putting him in the kitchen was better than chancing an encounter with a regular customer. She loved Dei like a brother, but he was just so high-strung. "C'mon."

He straightened and grabbed a beat up duffel from the floor beside him. He'd been wearing his backpack through the whole conversation. "Thanks, Hinata. I'll make this up to you, un." He finally broke the mask, smiling a little for her. Already he was looking better.

Gesturing at him to come around the counter, Hinata beamed at him. "Get over to this side, I can't give you a hug if you're all the way over there." The kicked-puppy look _deserved_ a big hug, even if it was just to make it go away.

His smile widened at that, and he circled the counter, dropping the duffel, and just threw his arms around her. Lifting, he almost immediately stumbled, and set her down again. "Hah, you're heavy."

"You've got a strange way of saying thanks," she said wryly, with only a light smack to his shoulder. Still, she hugged him tightly. When she let him go, she snagged a black forest cupcake from the display case as he picked up his baggage. "Will you behave if I give you an upgrade on your order?" Hinata waved the cupcake under his nose, one brow raised.

"And suddenly I have a new understanding of Hidan's life," Deidara said with wide eyes. "Yes, ma'am."

"Good boy," she quipped, handing the treat over. "Now we've got a new guy back here, so please be nice." Leading him through the hall, she knocked on the door frame to get her co-worker's attention. He was turned away, probably on his second pass for the tinier shards. "Kankuro-kun, you've got company," she announced as he turned.

xXx

There was a scuffle as someone else moved, probably right up behind Hinata. "Sabaku?" a familiar voice yelped. "You're in town? You have a _job_ in town?!"

Kankuro frowned. "Yeah… Who?" He finally got a good look at the guy as Hinata-chan stepped to the side. "Toji! Hey! How are you?" Flashing a grin at the girl's confused expression, Kankuro explained. "We know each other… Wait. _You_ know each other? How?"

Toji snickered as he stepped around the bemused girl, walking over and dropping his bag beside the wall. He grabbed the sole stool in the room and set up right beside his bag. The backpack on his shoulders went beside the duffel. "She's dating one of my posse, un," he said, glancing toward Hinata and grinning all the more at her hard eyeroll. "Yeah, that's right, I _said_ it. You are dating a posse member."

" _You_ are such a gangster wannabe," Hinata told him. And Kankuro blinked at the comfortable way she spoke. Easy and _confident_. Kinda changed her whole image actually.

Toji was shaking his head. Emphatically. "No, no, no. _Cowboy_. I'm a wannabe _cowboy_ , un. They've got the posses." His eyes sparkled with amused glee at this. "I need to get some boots."

Somewhere between gangster and boots, Kankuro's brain clicked back on. "Hold on. Back up. _Who_ are you dating?" If it wasn't Toji himself, then… Itachi was taken. It couldn't be Kisame…

When Hinata opened her mouth, the blond inserted quickly. "That albino cock-sucking bastard." And he smiled innocently at Hinata.

" _Cowboy_ there means Hidan, of course," she replied tartly, one hand held out to the blond. "Gimme the cupcake."

Kankuro blinked. Unbelievable as it was… he could actually see her with Hidan. Especially with _that_ tone.

"I'm payin' for it!" Toji said, jaw trembling faintly. "I'll give up the coffee."

Pausing, she seemed to consider. Finally: "No more bad-mouthing my boyfriend and you'll get a coffee when you leave, okay?"

He exhaled in exaggerated relief. "Yes'm."

Snorting, Kankuro dumped the last of the mess into the trash before propping the broom against the wall— _away_ from the dish rack. "So? What's up?" he asked, looking first to Hinata and then to Toji. "Don't tell me _you're_ going to work here."

Blue eyes blinked, and Toji cackled. "Yeah fucking right," he said, and sniffed. "I have other things I do if I need money."

Shaking her head, Hinata grinned. "I'll let Dei-kun explain himself, I've got to get to work." She waved at them both before slipping out.

Kankuro whistled. "Is she always like that?" If so, he'd been blind.

"Like what?" Toji asked, and took a bite of his cupcake.

 _How to explain?_ "She's a quiet, low-key girl," he attempted. "At least, I thought she was. You know, the kind of girl you don't even see." And it was a good thing she was out of earshot!

Toji blinked at that one. "Wha—is she—? Aww, I thought we got her past that…" He shook his head. "Guess it's easier to slip back into old habits, un. When we're not here, I mean."

Brows crunching together, Kankuro leaned back against the counter. "Hmm. Then again, I usually have the day shift, so maybe she's just shy around me." He shrugged. "Only knows me through work, right? And I'm new."

A beat passed as Toji munched, not looking up from the sweet in his hand. "Why _are_ you here, anyway?"

Kankuro coughed. "Dad." He grimaced and rolled his shoulders, remembering extremely tense dinners and long lectures he had tried not to listen to.

"Ah. Right." Toji winced.

The two of them lapsed into silence before Kankuro groaned. "As fun as this is, I gotta work. And if you laugh at me, I'll dunk your head."

The blond frowned. "Why would I laugh at you, un?"

In answer, he waved at the sink beside him. "I'm the dishwasher here," Kankuro muttered. "And some of the cleaning. So… yeah." Pride taking the loss, he turned to the sink and twisted open the hot tap. "Anyway," he said over the sound of running water, "if you're not here for work, why is Hinata-chan hiding you back here?"

Toji cringed, _audibly_. "Had a fight with my parental unit," he said, sarcastically. "She kicked me out, un. She was kinda pissed about the Assembly—ah, but you don't know about that, huh?"

Carefully lowering a stack of plates in—like hell he was breaking any more of the things—Kankuro paused to look over his shoulder. "No… is it something important? Our assemblies were pretty boring." Then again, he was used to his dad giving speeches.

The other male cackled. "Dude, these are the worst assemblies known to man. They're horrifying, mind numbing excuses for the teachers to make sure we never have sex. Like they're trying to curb the masses. I'm pretty sure that's why Kisame's gay." He grinned. "I interrupted today's. First in history to do it, un!"

First Kankuro had to turn the water off, then he turned around completely. "Uh, good for you, but… Kisame, _Shark Man_ , is _gay_?!"

"Yep," Toji snickered.

 _Whoa_. Shaking his head, Kankuro went back to washing dishes. "Huh, didn't see that coming. Thought it would be _you_ , if anyone in that group was gay." _Blink_. "I actually said that, didn't I?" He sneaked a look at the blond.

Who was giving him the most unimpressed of stares. "Yeah, you said that out loud."

"Sorry," Kankuro said quickly—Toji had a pyro reputation after all. "Forget I said that, okay?" There was no way to get his head out of his ass now. "It's just my opinion."

The blond sighed. "Yeah, well it's a popular one, un," he grumbled. "Everyone seems to say that."

Cautiously turning back to the dishes, Kankuro shrugged. "Yeah, well, when you finally find a girl, we'll stop thinking that." He picked up a plate and frowned at it. _What the hell was on this? Tar?_ "It makes sense, right?"

"No, no you won't," Toji retorted. "I'm not exactly a virgin, y'know."

Kankuro rolled his eyes before he turned around _again_. "Okay, then find a girl, _keep her around so that others actually see her_ and then we'll stop."

The blond looked far from convinced, popped the last bite of cupcake into his mouth, and made a face at him. "So how's Temari and Gaara? Sakura whines about them occasionally."

"Gaara's gonna be moving here eventually, I think," Kankuro answered, a little relieved at the change of topic. "He's been planning that for months. Temari's fine." He shrugged, scrubbing at the plate. "She's busy of course, last year of school, but nothing's stopping her from doing what she wants." Dad included.

"Sounds like her," the blond said, sounding amused. "Why is he _moving_ here?"

"What? It's not obvious?" Kankuro drawled, finally rinsing off the plate. "It's because of Sakura."

A snort. "Stalkerish, much?"

Kankuro laughed, though it came out weak. "Like you wouldn't believe."

Toji sighed and tossed out the paper from his cupcake. "Good thing his sight's set on _Sakura_ , un."

"It's… not quite normal," Kankuro said, brow wrinkling down at the soapy water. "Okay, no, _nothing_ about my brother is normal, but that's not just it." He sighed and leaned back from the sink, hands grasping the edge. "She's his first friend. And I think he just wants to be around her. All the time. I don't think he knows the difference between friendship and love." _How can he? He's never had either_. Wincing as the latter was more truthful than he liked, Kankuro stuck his hands back into the water.

There were a few seconds of quiet, and then Toji chuckled. "He'll get along with Hidan, probably. Maybe Kakuzu, un, but that's harder."

Cringing back from the thought of his psychotic brother willingly hanging out with the Zombie brothers, Kankuro groaned. "You're giving me nightmare material. Though, if he does find more friends, I'll be happier. The kid's so unstable."

"Dude, stability is not in the vocabularies of _anyone_ we know. Except maybe Hinata, and even then, I wonder sometimes."

"It is in mine," he retorted, grinning back at the blond. "I like to think I'm actually reliable, you know? Makes it easier to keep a job." Kankuro shrugged at the skeptical look from Toji. "Look at it this way. I live with a psychotic younger brother and a marginally less explosive sister, staying sane is the only option at that point. I _gotta_ keep my head to keep up with those two."

The blond paused a beat. "Okay, I guess that makes sense. Just don't expect anyone else to be sane."

"Story of my life, Toji."

xXx

Sai was working on the last coat of bronze enamel when he heard the classroom door close somewhere behind him. He shifted his weight, glancing up into a mirror set on the desk behind the one he used, and spotted blonde hair. He didn't bother turning, his visitor's identity confirmed, as he nudged slightly with the flat-edged pallet knife into a groove, urging the enamel deeper, then sprayed with the can again before smoothing the outer edges.

"Hello, Ino," he said after her footsteps had stopped behind him.

He heard a soft intake of breath. "That is _not_ my ass."

He tilted his head a little, teeth clenched in his concentration as he carefully turned the lazy susan he'd put the model on. "No…" He frowned, lifting the pallet knife to fix a rough edge near the top.

"Whose is it?" she demanded angrily, prompting a smile from the artist. Jealousy? That was actually rather touching. "And how did you convince her to let you!?"

Squinting once he'd evened it out, the boy then leaned back and turned the thing slowly. He set the can of bronze paint down and turned his head to smile up at her briefly, even as his hand reached down to dig the gold out of his duffel. "Tenten-san's. As for the negotiations for permission, well, that was mostly Kakuzu-san. Although she did make me get her a coffee before she'd even consider it."

Now Ino just looked baffled. "Sai… why do you even _want_ to make a bust of a girl's ass?" she asked, hands propped on her hips.

He blinked and looked over again, can lifted toward the sculpture. "Technically, it's a model, not a bust," he replied, brows furrowing slightly. "A bust is the upper part of the body. This is the ass."

She rolled her eyes hard, and he turned to eye his art. "That wasn't an answer, Sai!"

"I like them. I think the female form is beautiful," he replied distractedly, mapping where he'd need to darken the sculpture in places with the gold. Perhaps in the crease there… No, definitely there, the natural shadows weren't doing enough.

Ino didn't answer, but eventually went to sit on an empty desk nearby, to watch. Neither of them said anything for a long time, until he sat back after making the final adjustments, letting the model dry. When he looked at her, she smiled at him uncertainly, and he spoke up before she could even ask. "Yours too, of course. I like your breasts the best!"

The blonde looked like she wasn't sure whether to throttle him or be embarrassed, and settled for scowling. "You're taking me out for a late dinner tonight, pervert!"

His grin was wide. "Yes, mistress."

xXx

It wasn't very often Itachi was surprised, but looking down at the game pieces placed on the checkerboard, he found himself wishing it would happen more often. Pressing the corners of his twitching lips down, Itachi raised his gaze to take in the opposition.

Across from him, his big blue friend chewed at his lip and frowned down at the war zone and frowned. "Shit…" Kisame muttered. "I fucked up, didn't I?"

Itachi blinked once at his friend's words and surveyed the board again. "If you have an overall strategy you must follow, perhaps," he offered. "Taking out my rook at this stage of the game isn't necessarily a bad thing, Kisame."

"Tch." Kisame scowled down even harder, but waved a hand at him and sat back to nurse his beer.

Curiosity piqued, Itachi leaned over, pushing forward with his active bishop and claiming his friend's last knight. He had barely lifted his hand away from the board, than Kisame reached out, plucked his second to last pawn up and knocked Itachi's second rook off the board.

This time, Kisame sat back with a milder frown.

"Careful," Itachi cautioned, eyes roaming over the game. "That was almost hasty."

"At least I wasn't annihilated in the first three moves," the other teen grumbled, turning his bottle around and around in his hands. For a man with a deadly poker face, Kisame barely bothered with chess.

"Hnn." With a little more consideration than the norm, Itachi moved his queen forward and watched with amusement as Kisame's brows slid up. "Yes," he drawled. "Now I'm being serious."

With a cackle, Kisame shifted forward in his seat and cracked the knuckles of his left hand. "Finally!"

Letting his own grin slip free, Itachi reached for his beer and clinked bottles with his best friend. "About time."

xXx

Hidan yawned as he shambled into his apartment, absently kicking his shoes off onto the rack by the door. It was nearly two AM, and he was aching all over. Some dickhead had decided to pick tonight of all nights to sneak in and try and steal shit. Which was fucking stupid, since he could have asked during daylight hours and gotten his way. It was just trash, after all.

Anyway, Hidan had sprained his wrist swinging the bat (and probably broke the guy's arm), and then wrestled with the crazy fucker! Of course, that was before the bastard's fucktard friend decided he was going to play hero. Holy shit…

Heading for the soft light of the kitchen, Hidan nearly passed right by the blond crashed on the couch. He thought about waking the crazy fucker, but after a second, left him be and went into the kitchen. As he'd hoped, Hinata was waiting there, and so was Kakuzu. "Hey fucker, Goddess," he grunted, making a beeline for the fridge (and the beers). "Any leftovers, or am I gonna have to cook?"

"If you like cold nachos with an exuberant amount of banana peppers, then yes, there's leftovers." Hinata met him at the fridge, arm winding around his waist. A tactful one-sided hug that allowed her to get a good look at the scrapes up his left forearm. "Alternatively, I made turkey club sandwiches again."

He tugged her against him, kissing her enthusiastically for a moment before snagging a beer and letting her go. "Both? Fucking _starving_ ," he complained.

Kakuzu rolled his eyes. "The hell happened to you, cunt?" he demanded. "Get into a fight with a cat?"

Hidan flipped him off. "Coupla bitches broke into the Yard, and I had to fucking fend them off before I could call the cops." He grinned proudly. "Sent 'em away on _fuuucking streeetchers_." The last was half-sung as the albino looked over to the table.

A low noise of exasperation came from his side as Hina carefully shoved him towards the bastard. "Sit down already," she told him, already pulling open the freezer. "I'll feed you." Contrary to her words though, the first thing she gave him was a bag of ice cubes.

He grinned up at her, accepting it to drape it over his wrist. "Have I said you're fucking gorgeous lately?"

Kakuzu sneered, nursing a mug of tea.

Humming, Hina bent over to pull out something or other and moved to the oven. "Often enough to keep me interested," she replied, Hidan raised his focus from her ass to her face as she turned around and was graced with an eye-roll. He just grinned back. "Anyway, we gotta talk about Dei-kun."

"I was wonderin' about that," he admitted, after swallowing a gulp of the beer in his hand. "The fuck's that guy doing here, anyway?"

Kakuzu set down his mug. "His mother kicked him out. For good this time. She said if he came back, she'd have him arrested."

The albino whistled softly. "Well fuck."

"Apparently, Toji-san really didn't like spiders," Hina added, "and Dei-kun had kept two dozen in the basement right under her bedroom overnight." Giving the oven dial one more glance, she went back to the open fridge and took out a plate of sandwiches. "And I mean the big and hairy kind of spiders."

The green-eyed male hummed. "Well, I think there was probably more to it than that- but he wouldn't say," he commented. "He asked if he could bunk here for a while. Either 'till he finds his own place, or school ends. Which is just till the end of the year at most."

Hidan huffed and accepted a sandwich. "Fucking figures." At their looks, his brows snapped together in irritation. "The fuck am I gonna say? No? Seriously."

Smiling, Hina leaned over and kissed his ear lightly. He tried to catch her lips in decent lip lock, but she went even further and hugged him. "Thank you," she said softly, her hair tickling his throat.

Grumbling, he hugged her back, then dragged the teasing minx into his lap for a good kissing. Kakuzu grunted in annoyance and finished his tea before leaving for bed. Eventually, Hidan pulled back from his girlfriend and grinned at her. "I'm gettin' fucking brownies tomorrow from the store."

Hina giggled. "We'll need milk then. And since Dei-kun's going to be around, maybe a second fire extinguisher."

"Good point," Hidan agreed, smirking. "We'll make _him_ go to the fucking store, then."

"Mmm…" Hina's eyes unfocused for a moment before she blushed bright red and had a sudden interest in nuzzling his neck.

His grin inched wider. "Awww, that's nice and all, but now I'm fuckin' curious. Penny for your thoughts?" he asked teasingly, nudging her shoulder.

She _almost_ distracted him by biting down on his own shoulder, but another prod had her mumbling something about "firemen" and "costumes" just under his ear.

Hidan was grinning so wide it hurt. "Did you, my sexy goddess, just suggest sex cosplay?"

The heat radiating off her cheeks would rival the sun. "Nooooo…?"

"You _did_ ," he said, as if she hadn't said anything. "That is the hottest thing _ever_."

"Maybe… Maybe there's a fire hydrant costume I can hide in…" Hina really meant that to be as uninteresting as all hell, but all Hidan could imagine was mini hydrant tops as nipple pasties.

He laughed. "Oh man, please tell me I ain't fucking _dreaming_ ," he begged, kissing her head.

Under his lips, Hina shook her head. "No, _please_ tell me _I'm_ dreaming." She moved away, but only within the circle of his arms and only to look up with a pout. "I thought we were talking about food?"

"Hey you're the one that started talking about firemen costumes," he shot back, still smirking. "But if you insist, I know all sorts of fruit-and-sweet-related ways to make things tasty."

Poor Hina. She blinked once… twice… then her eyes went wide and her mouth dropped open. "Meep!" And she was back to hiding under his chin. He could imagine the meltdown going on between her ears.

And he was going to enjoy every second of it.

xXx


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gaara. Yeah, that kid.   
> Oh, and more Kakuzu and Tenten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! *dodges stampede*  
> ^^; Sorry!

At first, he didn't know why he was awake. Hell, he wasn't even sure what his _name_ was, never mind what time it was. Then he heard the ringing of his cell and he rolled over, arm snaking out and silencing it.

For a moment there was peace, and he dropped back asleep.

Only for the ringing to drag him up again with a vengeance.

"Fucking _hell_."

Grabbing the damn phone, he hit the green button ready to verbally flay his caller to the bone. "What the _fuck_ —"

" _Kankuro_."

 _Oh my God_.

He inhaled so fast, he started coughing.

His brother was still on the line when Kankuro could finally talk again.

"Yeah?"

" _I want one. No. Three. Or more. As many as you can get._ " By his tone, Gaara was deadly serious, and it was sort of terrifying.

"Huh?" He tried to think, sluggish thoughts grinding through the chaos of two hours of sleep after a sixteen hour shift. Self-preservation instincts kicked in first. "Yeah, sure... But Gaara, as many of—what?"

A beat of silence, and the distant crinkle of paper. " ** _Spiders_** _, Kankuro. Sakura told me about the assembly. I want them. All of them. Or most of them. Whichever._ "

"Oh. Yeah. No problem." Where was he going to keep them?! "Will do." Wait. "Uh… how am I going to ship them to you?" It's not like he could box them up and send them post. Right?

Again, his brother was quiet for a moment before he sighed. " _You should—…. I'll come get them. Yes. I'll come there._ " The line abruptly went dead.

Silence ringing in his ears, Kankuro dropped the phone back down on the nightstand and stared at the clock. Then blinked and scrambled out of bed, one thought dominating his mind.

Gaara was coming to Konoha. As in _immediately_.

xXx

Hidan was woken up at almost seven AM by a shriek from the living room, which was suddenly and abruptly cut off. "Fucker!" he yelled.

"Cunt," Kakuzu called back, and Deidara wasn't making another sound.

Hidan glanced at the sleeping goddess and pulled his pillow over his head, going back to sleep himself.

Only to be awoken two minutes later by Hinata's alarm blaring for her to get ready for school.

xXx

There was a very loud, very slow, very deliberate knocking on Sakura's dormitory door. Konan was starting to stir with angry grumblings as the pinkette's phone went off near her ear. And then again. And again.

"I'll kill them," Sakura said, cracking open one eye. A bleary moment later, she grunted and accepted the call. "I'm going to kill you," she assured her caller. "Then I'm going to resurrect you. And then I'll let my roommate kill you. And I'll help her display your remains for Sai to paint."

Ino giggled on the other end; that _couldn't_ be a good sign. " _Uh huh. And then you'll never find out who's in town._ "

"Eh." Sakura tossed a grey plushie at Konan as the other girl made a face. ' _Hug that_ ,' she mouthed, to which the blue-haired woman made a very expressive angry face and rolled over. The toy shark firmly pressed to her chest. Sak smirked. _Kisame will never believe where Bruce is now_.

" _I'll give you a hint- he's creepy, and Naruto has taken to calling him 'Tanuki',_ " the blonde continued undaunted in her ear, her voice a bare murmur on the other side of the door.

Sak turned over on her bed and pulled the blankets up over her head, phone and all. "How many spiders did he have?" she asked, ignoring her insane best friend's presence on the other side of the door.

The blonde snorted loudly. " _Dunno. Some. I heard from Kankuro, whom has apparently been running around like a chicken with his head cut off trying to find them all._ _ **He's**_ _somewhere on campus._ "

And it was at that point Sakura's phone decide to do a silent jig in her hand. "Poor guy," she said with feeling. Gaara apparently _still_ had his older brother on his toes. "Anyway, time for me to get ready. I'll talk to you later after class, Ino!" Slipping out of bed and heading for the shower, Sakura smothered a giggle as she headed past the baleful glare of Konan. "Buh bye!"

She could hear Ino's delighted laughter in the hall, trailing off as the blonde left obligingly. Konan threw something at the door and Sakura shut herself into the bathroom.

xXx

It was so strange. The employee's parking lot in the back didn't look all that different from the staff lot back at his old job. A few of the cars Gekkō even recognized. There was Genma's battered blue Dodge truck sitting in between Chuushin's death trap and Kyuubi's eternally soon-to-be-restored Beetle. The weak drizzle just added to the nostalgia.

And no sooner had Gekkō locked his car down, than Hoshigaki's dark grey beater rolled into the lot. _I guess he went out for breakfast_? The guys started at before dawn, so at quarter past ten it was no wonder they were getting hungry. He waved as the teenager parked next to him. "Mornin'."

There was a muffled low growl and a short yelp, followed by Hoshigaki exiting his car. "Good morning," the boy muttered with a sharp nod, then marched through the rain and into the building, brown paper bag sheltered under his left arm.

 _Uh oh_. If he didn't know better, Gekkō would have thought he had just seen Chuushin in Hoshigaki's skin. He was about to follow the grumpy teen, when he got another surprise. _Toji_ was now coming out of the car, a tray of coffee balanced in each hand.

The blond, sporting what looked like a fresh bruise on his jaw, paused and grinned at the other man. "Hey, Hayate-san!" he chirped in greeting, then glanced toward The Workshop and lingered. "Didn't know you were coming…"

"Ah, good morning, Toji-kun." Gekkō counted the cups and raised a brow. Eight cups for potentially five people? "Yeah, I wasn't supposed to come in today, but I got a text from Genma. Said I should drop by." He waved Toji to precede him towards the shelter the Workshop promised and was surprised when the young man hesitated.

With a sigh, and wary reluctance, the boy walked ahead of him into the building. Kyuubi was just inside the greeting lounge, and smiled wanly at them. "Ah, finally, Hayate-san. Shiranui-sama is in the office, I believe. Erm…" He glanced at the blond.

Toji squared his shoulders and lifted his jaw. "I'll just bring these, un," he declared fearlessly, and walked through the door into the workshop proper.

Turning back from watching the young man seemingly walk to his doom, Gekkō looked at Kyuubi. "According to rumor, _everything_ and _anything_ around Toji is combustible."

Kyuubi shook his head. "Including Kakuzu-san's temper," he agreed mildly. "Unfortunately."

"Ouch." Gekkō shook his head even as he smiled. He wished the man luck, and ducked into the back hall towards Genma's cave. _The guy could have any room in the building, and he picks the darkest one without a window._

It did however have an entire wall devoted to an HD projector. "The porn must be fantastic on that thing," Gekkō said, walking in through the open doorway. "Provided you've got the speakers set up yet."

"I don't want to know what your definition of porn is," Genma replied, frowning up at the dissected video from his position leaning on his desk. "It's probably centered about Kabuki dances or something."

"Ha ha." Rolling his eyes, he hung his jacket on a nearby coat peg and stood next to his friend. "So? What did you call me in for?"

Genma gestured at the projected image. "This is the security footage from last night," he said, expression a mix of bemused irritation. "Take a look at the second to top left feed."

Raising a brow, Gekkō looked up, finding the video in the grid like visual… and blinked. "Is that Inuzuka Kiba?" Shaggy dark hair, a hoodie, stocky build… "No, he's too tall." And where was Akamaru? "And what the hell is he doing?"

The Mystery Male peered under bushes, poked under trash cans, and finally wandered around the corner to sift through leftover wood scraps. And doing so in last night's downpour.

"I have no idea." Genma shrugged. "He didn't try entering the building, he didn't take anything from outside, not even the empty pop cans. I checked where's he been looking, and didn't see anything new."

On the screen, the man tossed a chunk of wood back into the pile and stood up from his crouch, seemingly at lost. Then he turned and walked away from the building.

"You don't know who that was?"

"No," Gekkō replied. "Sorry."

xXx

The usual group had gathered for lunch, Karin making doe eyes at Sasuke for most of the time, until Naruto fell off the bench he was sitting on, flailing. "HE'S HERE?!" he yelled, eyes wide. "Since when!"

Shino, his news—overheard from Sai, who'd been told by Ino - imparted, frowned slightly. They could barely tell behind the high collar. "Your reaction is telling. You know the Evil Tanuki?" he asked.

The blond burst into laughter, realizing that he, Shikamaru and Teme were the only ones that knew who _Tanuki_ was. "Oh _yeah_! Maybe he'll come see my frogs!"

"I don't understand," the baffled bug-lover admitted.

"It's Naruto. What is there to understand?" Teme said, batting away the empty juice box Naruto threw at him. "But you said E.T. was here? Where did you see him?"

"Oh, Sai told me," Shino replied with a shrug as Naruto was getting up. "And Ino-san told him. Apparently, she is quite excited about it. Why? I haven't the faintest."

Naruto snorted and resumed his seat. Karin's nose wrinkled. "Who's E.T.?" she asked.

Beside him, Sasuke very carefully smirked into his hand and shot Naruto a look. ' _See? Aren't I smart? I've got people thinking Gaara's an alien!_ ' said the look. The smug bastard. Naruto thought _Tanuki_ was far more fitting. So there. "E.T.," Sasuke began, his grin dimmed down to a condescending look, "is a person from far away, who has come here to find something or someone …"

The redhead gave him a dubious look. "That's very vague," she said mildly.

"He's a vague person," Naruto inserted, always quick to come to his best friend's aid- even if he was a Teme. All the time. "Anyway… What class does Ino have right now?" He turned his head to look at Shikamaru, stretched out in a patch of sunlight by the bushes. "Hey! Shikamaru, what class has Ino got?"

"History," was the reply back, though Shika didn't even bother to open his eyes.

Naruto frowned and opened his mouth, then startled when a figure came cackling into their immediate area, only to run through without stopping, with a chirped, "Heeeeyy!" as he passed.

A beat of silence followed this. Then… "What the hell?" the blond asked.

"I claim no fault," Teme said immediately. "But whoever gave that guy pop rocks should die in a fire. Managed by Toji. And funded by Chuushin." Sasuke frowned as Fukumen disappeared through the cafeteria doors, startling students as he went. Then he glanced at Naruto. "Well?"

The blond grinned, and together they darted after the crazy boy.

Inside the cafeteria, Tobi had rushed up to an unfamiliar young woman, and was giving her money for a box she was holding. The girl beamed at him, there was a brief exchange, and by the time the other boys caught up, he was turning to grin at them. "Tobi's a good boy," he told them. "I'm helping Kankuro-kun!"

"Uh…" Teme never sounded so intelligent as now. Though, to Sasuke's credit, he seemed to quickly catch on, because he was squinting at the box thoughtfully. "Is that… alive?"

"Duuuuh," Tobi said with a wide smile. "What use would it be if it weren't?"

Naruto's brows furrowed. "Good point. Uh. Just one question?" They both blinked at him. "What's that?" He pointed at the box.

xXx

"I'm sorry. Could you repeat that, please?" Hinata squinted up at her friend as they shouldered their bags and passed through the side exit. Tenten on the other hand, muttered and coughed. "Excuse you," Hina said obligingly, "but that _isn't_ what you just said."

Her lanky friend cut her dark brown eyes Hina's way and sighed. "Ino isn't talking to me. At all."

Waving at the ever-excited Tobi who was rushing past with a grin and a stack of shoe boxes, Hinata waited until they were at least off the school grounds. And then waited a little longer as they walked down the road towards the cafe.

"Yeah. You're right. It's not that big of a deal," Tenten said finally, rubbing a finger against her temple. "I still wish she hadn't threatened me in the middle of the hall though."

"You can't tell me you didn't see that coming, Tenten." Hinata let her grin grow even wider. "Sai _did_ put his hands all over your ass after all."

Tenten groaned and made a shushing noise. "Could you possibly say that any louder, Hinata? I don't think the people across the street heard you properly."

Hinata shot her friend another smile before letting her confusion show. "Why did you agree to it anyway? It's not like you know Sai very well and aren't you dating Kakuzu? Never mind Ino, I'm amazed Kakuzu isn't hunting down Sai. Like… last week."

A rather aggravated groan came from Tenten. "I agreed because Sai's a nice kid and he's clearly not interested in me. And _no_ ," she added with a frown, "I'm not dating Kakuzu."

"Tenten, you're out with him every other night." Denial will only go so far.

Her friend rolled her eyes. "That's because I'm either with you, or at the cafe. The fact that Kakuzu shows up where I happen to be, is _not_ my doing."

"Uh huh. And you picking him up from Hidan's workplace was not at all your suggestion."

Flailing one arm, Tenten stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. " _Once_ , alright? Just once!"

Now it was Hinata's turn to roll her eyes. "Not just—" And she was cut off neatly by Tenten's cell trilling out the Imperial March. She burst out laughing as her friend scowled.

"Shut up."

"So? What's he saying?"

"You know, just because he's your boyfriend's best friend does not mean you have the right to know."

Hinata crossed her arms and raised a brow. "You really think I won't find out later?"

Scowling down at the phone, Tenten shifted her backpack a little higher. "He just wants to know if I'm busy for the next while. That's all."

"Tenten."

"What?"

"Just call him already. I'll meet you at work." Hinata pivoted and waved a hand over her shoulder. "Or not. However the call goes."

"Smugness is not becoming, you know!" Tenten shouted after her. And Hinata grinned.

After all, Tenten wasn't following.

xXx

"See ya, Teme!" Naruto yelled after his friend as Sasuke closed the door of Itachi's car behind him. Apparently they were going off for 'sparring' or whatever.

Grinning, the blond hoisted his bag higher up on his shoulder and started down the side walk, having decided to take the slow way home today. It wasn't like he had anywhere to be, and Ero-Sennin was in Mizu for the afternoon with Sakura-chan's dad. His excuse had been a signing, but Naruto wasn't fooled in the slightest.

As he reached the end of the block, a sleek expensive car rolled up to him, and he eyed it warily when the window rolled down. "Hello, Naruto-kun," a slightly rough voice said from the dark depths inside.

Frowning, the blond squinted in an attempt to see who it was better, to no avail. "Who're you? Have we met?" he asked, confused.

The person in the vehicle, just a dark outline to him at the moment, chuckled. "Ahh, apologies, Naruto-kun. We have, but not since you were very very little… I was a close friend of your father's."

His eyes went wide, and his fingers tightened on the strap of his bag. "Tochan?" he asked, surprised. "Really?"

"Oh yes. Most definitely. We were… business partners, of a sort, for a time. Would you like to join me for dinner? We can talk more about it," the voice said.

"Ehhhh…" The blond suddenly remembered Tsunade-baabaa screaming at him once about trusting strangers. "I don't know. You haven't even told me your name."

The man paused at that, and leaned forward a little toward the window. He was _ancient_ , with slightly choppy but mostly neat salt-and-pepper hair. Light brown eyes, one slightly different in color, surveyed Naruto thoughtfully, the lines of his face deepening. He appeared to be wearing a business suit. "My sincere apologies, again, Naruto-kun," he said after a few more seconds ticked by in silence. "I had hoped you'd recognize me. I am Shimura Danzo. Pleased to meet you again."

Absently, Naruto echoed the words, and shook his head. This guy was rubbing him all sorts of wrong ways, and he couldn't explain why. Shimura-san hadn't been anything but polite so far, and he'd known Naruto's _father_ … Naruto barely remembered _anything_ about the man. "Um, I'd like to and all, but… I'm supposed to meet my godfather downtown," he said, a small fib. He'd go find Sakura-chan, maybe, if she wasn't in class. Or even Hinata-chan. _Or just go hang out with Lee at the dojo… actually, yeah, gonna do that_. He should have taken Tanuki up on his offer to hang out. "But it was, eehhh, nice to meet you again too." He gave a tiny bow, stepping back. "We can talk later, maybe, I'm sure Jiraiya'd like to see an old friend of my dad's."

Shimura-san leaned back, face falling into shadow again. "We'll see what happens. Until next time, then, Naruto-kun." The window rolled up, and after a second, the car pulled away.

Naruto didn't move until it was out of sight, and then he booked it for Lee's family dojo.

xXx

Scowling at Hinata's back really didn't solve any of her issues, and it certainly didn't provide any entertainment. It made her feel better though. For all of three seconds. And then she looked down at her phone and huffed. Procrastination had never been her vice, but it was tempting. So tempting.

 _Then again. I'd be delaying out of spite._ Sighing, Tenten pushed a few buttons and listened for the ring. _He doesn't deserve that though_. If she were honest with herself, Kakuzu didn't deserve a lot of what she was putting him through.

He answered on the second ring, cutting it mid-way through. " _Hey. I take it you got my text._ "

Humming, Tenten stepped to the side, putting her back against the white plaster of some tiny watch store. "Yeah, I did. And no, I'm not busy. What's up?"

" _Wanted to know if you'd like to join me at the Workshop. Dei's been a little shit lately, and…_ " A pause. " _Well I like you so much better than him._ "

Catching sight of her reflection in the shop window, Tenten rubbed a hand over her mouth and its huge grin. "Good to know I rate higher than the city's pyro," she said, sheepishly waving at the shop owner who was staring at her from inside. "You're sure it's okay if I go in there?" Even if Hinata was alright with her loitering at the cafe, there wasn't anything at the Kakuzu's work that she could buy in a flimsy excuse of patronage.

He snorted. " _Yeah. It's fine. It's not like you'll be getting in the way. I work in the office, mostly, or the front room. So there's little risk of you getting hurt. Where are you? I'll pick you up._ "

"Um…" Tenten looked up and blinked. "I'm at a shop called Steam Clock Wristwatches." Actually, it had some pretty neat stuff. "I could meet you at Hell' Cup if that's easier," she offered, thinking to spare her wallet from curiosity.

" _I have to go get something from my room anyway, so the cafe works_ ," he replied. " _Meet you in… twenty?_ "

Wallet be damned, that silver broach was too pretty to pass up. "Yeah, twenty is enough time." Not like the cafe was far. And the less time she had to browse the better. "See you then."

xXx

He arrived at Helluva Cup exactly 20 minutes later, and quirked a brow - and a smile - at her as she climbed in. "Hey."

Tenten smiled back at him, tucking her backpack under the dash. "Hey yourself. How's the arm?" she asked as she strapped in.

"Manageable," he replied with a shrug. "I don't need as much pain medication anymore, thankfully. Shit's expensive."

It took all of four seconds for Tenten to notice what was new on his person. "Hidan's got strange ways of showing love," she managed straight faced before breaking down into snickers.

The large teen rolled his eyes and pulled away from the sidewalk. "Yeah, he's a bitch," he replied flatly.

"At least he didn't draw anything on there," she said, grinning. "Or use bright pink." No, the fucker hadn't used pink, he had used fuchsia and _magenta_. "Cheer up, Kakuzu. It's not forever."

Sighing, he nodded and cast a glance her way. "I know. It's still a pain in the ass." He scowled, and turned out of campus. "... how's the idiot faring, anyway?"

"He's…. alright." At Kakuzu's unimpressed look, Tenten faked a careless shrug, but he could see the way her shoulders tensed. "I only see him a few times at school and he—We don't talk anymore." She flashed him an empty smile. "No reason to, you know?"

His only response was a thoughtful hum. A few minutes passed in quiet, before he was turning onto a side street, and then almost immediately into the parking lot of the Workshop. Kyuubi was standing outside, drinking canned juice with a familiar head of curly cerulean hair. Both glanced over as Kakuzu shut off the truck.

"One of our customers," he grunted, shoving open the driver's side door. "Do me a favor and grab the manilla folder out of the glove box, please?" He was pulling the keys out of the ignition as he spoke, and turned his head to look at her.

Tenten was already reaching into the small compartment, humming an affirmative. "Ah, here you go." She held out the paper packet, a smile dancing across her lips. "You really can't get away from work, hmm?"

"Never," he lamented, and gave her a tiny smile before getting out.

Kyuubi and Kami exchanged a look. "Hello, Chuushin-sama," the blue-haired college student greeted with a half-bow. "Pleased to see you again. Who is your friend?" He pasted on a curious smile as Tenten walked over.

Shrugging, Kakuzu gestured with the folder at her, then the boy. "Tenten, Kami," he said, to which Kami bowed again to her.

Shooting Kakuzu an unreadable look, Tenten quickly bobbed a bow in return. "Um, nice to meet you too," she said, giving the boy a scrutinizing look that made Kakuzu frown. "It's a little weird of me to say, I know…" Why was she then? "But do you have a brother?"

Kakuzu snorted as Kami blinked and tilted his head. "Ah, no, I'm an only child… Why do you ask?" He glanced over as Kyuubi pushed away from the wall.

"I'm getting back to work, now that Kakuzu-san's back," he explained with a smile, and went inside.

When Kakuzu turned back to the conversation, Tenten was smiling again. "I know someone with hair a lot like yours. That color is really noticeable."

Blue eyes blinked, then widened as understanding lit his face. "Ah! Is it Isao?" he asked, suddenly so cheerful it was almost painful to look at. He didn't wait for an answer, though, going on with a stupid grin on his face. "Yes, he's my boyfriend."

Tenten choked.

Kakuzu's brows lifted while Kami beamed at her. "... does _he_ know that?" he asked.

"Oh my," Kami replied, which wasn't an actual answer _at all_ , and chuckled.

No, somehow Kakuzu hadn't thought so. "Anyway, we have business to attend to, right? Stop wasting time- time is money."

Kami bowed. "I quite agree. I'm mostly just here to check on things… let's go inside, ne?" He turned and went in.

Rolling his eyes, Kakuzu caught the door and gestured the lone female ahead of him.

"Really? I can't believe… Wait, is this? What if… Does Isao even...?" Apparently, Tenten was still in shock. Thankfully, she was being very quiet about it. "... Should I…?"

"Please don't," Kami chirped from where he'd sat down on the couch in the receiving room. "I have matters well in hand, and it's not your business, Tenten-sama."

Kakuzu lifted a brow but went to sit down.

Tenten blinked once at Kami, then nodded, albeitly a little dazedly. "Uh, yeah. You do have a point. Sorry." She glanced at Kakuzu and then sat down. A few seats away from him. Then sprang back up. "Sorry, I probably shouldn't be here if you're talking business… Um, Kakuzu? Which way's the office?"

He frowned and considered it, then got up and opened the door to their left, from which loud noises were emitting. "Sasori!" he boomed across the cluttered space.

The redhead, looking like he was about to throttle Deidara beside him, looked over. He shoved the blond out of his way and stalked over. "What?"

"Fucking chill out. Take Tenten here to the office," Kakuzu said flatly.

Sasori looked past him at the girl, and frowned briefly. "Fine. This way."

"Okay." Tenten shouldered her backpack and smiled at the rest of them. "Nice meeting you, Kami. Bye." And she slipped out after Sasori, the door closing with a thud.

Twenty minutes later, Kami's interest in their progress was satisfied, and the young man departed with a promise of coming back that Saturday. Then Kakuzu let out a sigh, and slipped out of the receiving room. He glanced around for anyone not busy, spotted Kisame on his break, and walked over. "How much longer do you have on your break?"

Kisame raised a brow, but glanced at the clock on the wall. "Six more minutes," he answered, took a sip of his water, then, "What do you need?"

"The specs for the Mizunai project you were doing this morning," Kakuzu replied. "I'll be in the office."

For a moment, Kisame's brows furrowed, but they smoothed out just as fast. "Yeah sure. Do you need to change them or can Sasori and I keep working on a copy?" He waved at the redhead in question a few yards away. "We're starting fabrication today."

"No, keep up with what you're doing. I just need to keep track because he keeps waffling on the little details," the money monger muttered. "He's emailed me four times changing his mind. He recently changed it _back_ to what he'd decided originally, so at least for the moment you don't have to worry. I'll let you know if he does it again."

Kisame groaned and drained the last of his water. "As long as the man doesn't expect us to keep the original ship date if he changes it late in production." He tilted his head and gave Kakuzu a sharp smile. "You _are_ charging him for each confirmed adjustment, right?"

Dark brows lifted. "Obviously," he replied. "At least it's profitable…" He shook his head. "Anyway, I'm going to go to the office. See you." He waved absently and turned to go find Tenten.

Unsurprisingly, he found her perched on the couch, feet tucked under her as she skimmed through her school notes. The four textbooks that were spread out over the cushions took up more room than she did.

He glanced around the rest of the office to see Genma kneeling by a filing cabinet, grumbling as he went through it. "What are you looking for?" he asked, prompting the girl to look up at him. He nodded to her, even as he went over to glance at the tracker open on the desk.

"Hmm… The credit file for the Korsach brothers," Genma sat back, aggravated. "I must have dropped it into another folder by accident or something. I needed to call up their references today."

Kakuzu hummed thoughtfully. "Korsach…" He stepped over to another filing cabinet and tugged it open, spotting the file. "I was wondering what it was doing over here. I meant to ask you about it." He held it out to his boss.

"Ah!" Genma took the papers with a relieved grin. "Excellent. Thanks." He shoved himself to his feet and brushed a hand through his hair. "Alright, I'll be in the front room if you need me." Genma nodded to Tenten, who returned the motion with a smile. "Try not to tidy up too much, kay?"

The monger scoffed and went over to the desk without an actual answer. Genma left. For about ten minutes, neither of the remaining two in the office said a word. He was catching up with what had happened since he came to work last, and she was doing her homework. There was a brief visit from Kisame, who dropped off the desired specs, which sent Kakuzu into a zone on his work.

A couple minutes after that, he glanced distractedly up at Tenten, only to do a double take when he realized she was watching him. Or perhaps staring off into space in his direction, but… it looked an awful lot like watching him.

He blinked at her. She blinked at him. Then she seemed to catch herself because her eyes widened and suddenly her notes had all her attention.

"Is there something on your mind?" he asked after a beat, during which he fought the insane urge to smile. Really.

Tenten coughed. "Astrophysics," she said, lying through her dainty teeth. He _knew_ she didn't have any courses in that area.

"Uh huh." He leaned back in his seat, shifting his arm in his lap, and lifted both brows. "Try again."

She snuck a look up at him, but didn't even bother to hold his gaze, shifting instead to flip a page in a textbook. "Seriously. Astrophysics would be more interesting than learning about what glands of certain animals secrete—You know what? I'm not going to finish that."

The smile slipped out before he could stop it this time, and since it was just them, he didn't bother to tame it. "No, please, go on. I'm very interested in what animal glands _secrete_."

"Beavers." Tenten shuddered. "I swear. I'm going on an all-chemical diet when I'm done with this course."

He chuckled and moved his arm, stretching it out, then letting it settle back in place before reaching for his pen. He settled in as if to write, but stopped, considering. "... you know, I won't sell your secrets."

Tenten lifted her head to give him a puzzled look. "While that is sweet of you," one corner of her mouth quirked at his twitch, "but I'm pretty sure when we part ways, my info is up for auction." The puzzled look had since then morphed to resignation thinly veiled as humor.

At that, Kakuzu set the pen down again. "No, it isn't. And anyway, why the hell would we 'part ways'?"

She blinked at him, once, twice, then frowned. "Why? Because that's life?" Tenten gave him a small smile, but it didn't remove or dull the sting of her words.

He eyed her. "Tenten…" He sighed. "I don't intend to drop our friendship, and unless I've read things wrong, neither do you. So, why would you think we'd stop being friends?"

"It's not that…" She broke off, shaking her head. "No, never mind what I said. Sorry, I'm just… in a weird mood right now." Waving a hand down at her books, Tenten shrugged. "I'm being an idiot really, so I'll go back to studying now." And she did just that, without waiting for his response.

He almost pushed it. Except he hesitated, taking in the tense set of her shoulders and the way her lips were pressed together into a white line. Sighing, Kakuzu shook his head and looked back down at his paperwork. A few minutes passed before he glanced up to see her shoulders slowly untensing, and opened his mouth-

Which was when Deidara started screaming somewhere in the workshop. "Fucking idiots," he snarled.

Worse, now Tenten was getting up, shoving books from her lap. "Do you think he needs help? Where's the first aid kit?"

He groaned and sat back. "It's fine, they've got it. He probably just pissed off Sasori again."

Slowly settling back against the cushions, Tenten visibly waited for another scream. When only faint cajoling and raised voices came through the walls, she relaxed completely. For a moment, the girl blinked down at the books. Then she sighed. "Dammit. I have no idea what I was looking at just now."

Kakuzu snorted. "Want a soda?" He pointed with a pencil toward the fridge in the corner.

"God yes." She made her way over—how she moved so silently was mystery—and paused at the fridge. "You guys have a lock on this thing… why?"

"Paranoia?" he offered with a shrug when she looked back at him. "Don't touch the brownies." He got up and went over to unlock it.

"I won't _now_ ," Tenten promised fervently, "especially since that warning's from you. I'm going to guess they aren't just happy brownies?" Ever the good girl, she looked away while Kakuzu punched in the number code—going by memory as he watched her.

When he straightened, he motioned for her to help herself and stepped back, but didn't return quite yet to the desk. Instead, he continued to watch as she perused the different kinds of soda, before finally picking out a rootbeer.

"Do you want anything out of here?" she asked, crouched down by the floor. Her profile was to him as she waited.

He shifted his weight back onto his heels. "Sprite," he murmured, eyeing her. He couldn't help but think, again, that Hyuuga was a moron, and Tenten was beautiful, even when she wasn't trying.

His loss.

Made even more obvious, when Tenten turned and offered up the Sprite with a self-conscious smile that was still bright.

xXx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm never saying anything about schedules ever again. Ever. I'm so sorry.  
> If there are mistakes in here, I'll get to them later. Just hit me up with a note to let me know.
> 
> Thanks for all your patience!  
> And cheers to Hellste and tearsofemeralds!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kankuro is tired and Tenten is being set up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This. This is how guilty I feel.

Somewhere out there, someone else was walking into work with the same kind of bone-creaking relief that Kankuro was experiencing, he was sure of it. He couldn't be the only one seeing work as a refuge. Because home was certainly not safe. Not with his brother cooing at all the different spiders and the threat of Naruto showing up eminent.

It was a near thing though. He almost didn't find a replacement for his shift yesterday, but Chizu was all too happy to switch for a Saturday off. Which left Kankuro with a full shift of constant dishes and a different shift manager.

For several hours, Kankuro blanked out. He roused himself out of the exhausted daze only when he realized someone was grabbing a dirty mug out of his hand. He blinked and made a half-hearted attempt to take it back.

"Sabaku-san," the _very_ tall manager said. "Your shift ended 15 minutes ago."

Oh.

Something must have shown on his face, because Yoshimoto-san patted him on the shoulder as he placed the cup back on the tray. "You've don't have to go home," he said, brown eyes brightening with humor, "but you can't stay here."

Kankuro blamed his very tired brain for the hazy moments between nodding and hefting his backpack up on his shoulders. Spacing out like that couldn't be very good.

_I'm not disagreeing, Toji. It really isn't a good thing. You don't have to look at me like that._

A hand on his shoulder stopped him so hard he nearly fell over. "Dude, really? Walking corpse, much, un!"

Again, Kankuro couldn't deny that, and so just nodded his head. Still, he needed to get milk and something decent to feed himself and his brother… and what did spiders eat? Flies? Did pet stores sell flies?

A cupcake was shoved into his hands at that point, before two long fingered hands took him by the shoulders and started marching him out of the shop. They were heading to a sort of familiar beat up dodge. "We're going to the store, then the pet store, then your house. I gotta see how those spiders are doing, un!"

Kankuro found himself staring out the windshield, buckled up—when did that happen?— and still holding the cupcake. He honestly wasn't sure what he was supposed to do with it. This wasn't his. "Uh… this isn't mine."

"Eat it," Toji advised with a snicker. "Who do you trust most, Sakura or Kakuzu?"

Giving his head a little shake, Kankuro lifted his gaze up from staring at the swirled sugar to the other person in the truck. Was that a trick question? "Trust them both. But Chuushin's 'spensive."

"Sakura it is," the blond responded.

Time passed, Kankuro wasn't sure how much because he may have passed out. Next thing he checked, Toji was hanging up a phone and the truck was sitting in the parking lot of a grocery store. There was a plastic tub with crickets in it between them on the seat. "Yo, sleeping beauty, we're here, un." The cupcake was gone, but he spotted it tucked into the cup holder. "You got a list? I can run in and get you whatever while you nap..."

He did have a list. Somewhere in his back pocket… or maybe his wallet. Well, he needed both.

Toji looked amused, but Kankuro managed to put two twenties in his hand and a scribbled list on the back of the previous grocery run's receipt. He might have told Toji to "keep the change," but he wasn't sure.

He barely woke when the door closed some time later as Toji climbed back in and then again as the car stopped.

Finally, a hand was shaking his shoulder, and a grinning blond was standing beside the vehicle. "Feeling more human yet?" he asked, eyes dancing, and held a familiar streaming mug up for the brunet. It was his own mug, from home. They were outside his apartment complex and the groceries were nowhere in sight.

"The hell?" Kankuro scrubbed a hand down his face. "How bad was I out of it?" He peered at Toji through the open window. "I better not be dreaming," he added, feeling much more aware and thus alarmed, "cuz that smells really good."

Toji snickered. "Don't worry, un. Unfortunately, you completely missed the strippers."

Kank snorted. Then he reached out and took the hovering mug of caffeine. For some reason, the home brew tasted so much better than work's. One long pull and Kankuro let out a sigh, head turning to look at Toji. "Thanks."

"Anytime. Your brother was easy to distract, at least, un," the blond mused as Kankuro climbed out. He blinked when the cupcake was offered again. "Eat."

Kankuro took the now familiar cupcake. "How did you even know which apartment was mine?" he asked as they strolled towards the front of the building.

Toji snorted. "You told me, un." He shook out _Kankuro's keys_ and unlocked the door, holding it open and stepping back to let Kankuro precede him. "It helped that little red and scary was lying in wait."

"He was what?" Where was his phone? "What time is it?" Kankuro asked even as he pressed the button to wake it up. "Five?!" Ack. He had _not_ meant to squawk that.

"Yeah? You got somewhere to be?" Toji's brows arched, even as a door opened down the hall and a head poked out.

"You're late, he says," Naruto greeted as they approached. The younger blond squinted at the pair of them, even as a large spider climbed over his shoulder. Then he blinked and picked it off, ducking back inside when Gaara murmured something.

Toji caught the door before it closed. "Shut up, un!" he snapped back at the laughing boy as Naruto retreated back towards the kitchen.

Kankuro took a bite of the cupcake and thought about his life. His brother, he could cautiously handle on a good day. Naruto, he could handle… for probably fifteen minutes before the urge to strangle the kid came up (Sakura was very emphatic about this prediction). Toji, he could probably deal with on a regular basis. All three in a small apartment meant for one bachelor for an indeterminate amount of time in the immediate future? The cupcake vanished in three bites, and by then Kankuro had made his decision.

Strolling up the door, he absently shouldered Toji over so he could yell down the hall. "Gaara, you know how to cook ramen, right?"

There was a delighted squeal from the bowels of the apartment alongside Gaara's scoff. "Yes, Kankuro, I can handle dinner." The kid better be able to, Kankuro had some damned good ingredients listed for today's shopping trip. "I'll call if you're needed."

"Great!" Kankuro backed up away from door and the pyro. "Later!" And he closed the door on Naruto's excited chatter. There was bound to be a bench or better yet his own car he could crash in. Speaking of. "I kinda remember you saying something about towing my car?" _Oh yeah_. "Also. Keys. Now, please." He held out his free hand, sipping from his mug.

Toji handed them over without argument. "Pinky was gonna bring it over, un."

"And you're driving her home, after?"

"She's using Kakuzu's tow truck," the blond replied in amusement. "He was busy anyway."

Kankuro blinked and glanced down at his keys, honestly surprised that his car key was still there. "Ah." Maybe he should stop waiting for the shoe to drop, but Toji was being really _nice_. And seriously, sleep dep with only a short doze didn't help his brain at all. Shit, if this was how messed up his thinking was, he was amazed he didn't break any dishes during his shift. "I guess… I'll see you around then?"

"I guess." Toji glanced toward the door thoughtfully. "Do... Eh, if you want, you can nap on my couch. Well, Hidan's couch, un. He won't be back till after midnight, and Kakuzu lives on campus. Long as you don't stay the night, should be fine. If you want."

It was probably the mention of a nap that had Kankuro yawning. It was definitely the couch that made Kankuro consider it. Gulping down the last of the hot coffee, Kankuro pushed himself away from the wall—he didn't even remember leaning into it. "Sounds good—"

At that moment, there was a burst of laughter from inside his apartment. Kankuro glanced down at his empty mug and then to the closed door. _Fuck it_. "Well, I don't need anything out of there." _I'll just bring it with me._

Beside him, the blond snickered and lead the way out of the building. "Yeah, you want food? Or just a nap? There's probably some takoyaki left in the fridge, or we can hit a drive thru."

Kankuro blinked as yet again his body reacted as if on spoken command. The growl was loud enough to quirk Toji's eyebrows. "Drive through."

Toji's chuckle was soft as they climbed into his truck. "Got it!"

"Ugh." Kank slid his mug into the holder as he settled in the passenger seat again. "I must have been a zombie for the whole entire day. I don't remember what I ate before the cupcake."

The blond snorted enroute out of the parking lot. "Nothing during work. Your manager seemed convinced you were on something, un." He shot Kankuro an amused look. "And that cupcake disappeared pretty quickly!"

"Well, yeah. If I haven't eaten—Wait. How do you know I haven't eaten anything?" The shift manager he could handle, Toji spying on him all day… Kankuro didn't know what to think. Or maybe the sugar and the coffee hadn't kicked in yet.

"Your manager told me, un," Toji responded as he slowed for a light. "How else would I know?"

Right. Uneasy manager with a zonked out employee. Clearly the sugar hadn't kicked in. Kankuro slapped a hand over his eyes and sighed. "Yeah. Which means I left my lunch in the fridge at home, probably. Maybe." And if the manager told Toji… He probably also asked Toji to pick up his obviously high friend. "Thanks for coming to pick me up. I owe you one."

"It's cool, they wouldn't give me coffee anyway, un. Damn Hinata and her caffeine Nazism." He scowled at the road and hit the gas as soon as the light turned green.

Kank choked out a laugh. "I heard the story." It was almost as good as Konan on pixie sticks. Like in the buzzing psychotic must-stab-something-now kind of way.

Toji sniffed, slanting a look at him. "Hey, so that sister of yours, Temari, right?"

"Yeah?" Oh, this was going to be good. It also explained Toji's… considerable attention.

"I heard she's into wind engineering, that true?" It was impossible to tell what the man was thinking, but whatever it was, he had a manic half smile on his face because of it.

Kank blinked. Okay, that was a new angle to come from—Temari might actually be indulgent.. "Aerodynamics? Yeah." He patted down his pockets and pulled out his phone. "You want her email address?"

Lighting up, the blond nodded quickly. "Yeah! My phone's in the cup holder." He nodded to the indicated space below the dash, then frowned. "Also, wind engineering, not aerodynamics. There is a difference, un."

Rolling his eyes, Kank shrugged. "Don't care. You can check with her later." He picked up Toji's phone and raised his brows at the lack of security. "Seriously? You hang with that crowd, and you don't lock your phone?" he asked as he pulled up a new profile.

Toji smirked, slow and malicious. "Phones are off limits for pranks, Itachi's orders, un. After summer before last, it's no surprise." He looked way too pleased with himself.

"Uh, right." After a few taps, he had his sister's name and paused, looking up. "You're only getting her email, if I give you her phone number, favor or no, she'll rip off my nads."

The blond laughed a bit madly and pulled into a drive thru for Burger King. "That's cool, un. What are you getting?"

Humming, Kank input Temari's near impossible email address. "Bacon double cheese." He finished and hit save, looking up to squint at the menu two cars ahead. "You? I can pay for us both since you're driving my ass around."

"Hmm." Toji eyed Kankuro thoughtfully. "Large fries and a coffee."

Reeling his attention from the lit board to Toji, Kank felt his eyebrows wing up. "That's it?"

Pausing, the artist eventually shrugged. "Yeah, that's enough," he agreed, and inched the car forward when the line moved. They pulled up and ordered, then Toji pulled to a stop again, with one car at their window ahead of them.

"So what's it like living with the Zombie brothers?" Kank had tried to imagine it, but his brain had reminded him that _Hyuuga_ was over there too. And that it worked. Harmonious and Hidan did not belong in the same zip code.

His companion laughed. "Strange, man. I've lived with them before, of course, but Hinata living there makes it a bizarre situation, un. Though Kakuzu mostly sleeps in the dorms, so it's quiet when he's not around."

Kankuro snorted. "You're trying to tell me that without Chuushin, but _with you around_ , Hidan is calm and peaceful?" He shook his head. "Hyuuga must be some kind of miracle worker."

The blond scoffed and looked at him like he was slow. "Who fucking said calm and peaceful? I said quiet, un." And he shrugged. "Yeah, besides that, Hinata is sorta a genius at Bastard-wrangling."

"Huh." They crawled forward the last few feet and Kankuro handed the money over to the guy at the window. A minute later, Kank had a lap full of food and a pocket full of change. 'Uhm, what are you gonna be doing while I'm napping? I mean, the sofa's your bed, ain't it?"

Toji blinked at that. "Oh, I have something to build. I'll be in the kitchen for a while."

Kankuro paused in the middle of popping a fry into his mouth. "It's not gonna blow up is it?"

xXx

Hidan was laughing as Hinata got handed her ass... Again, and the glare she shot him made it totally worth it. Truly, when indignant and angry, his girl was a sight to behold, especially while gasping for breath like that. "Hey, you can do it, Hinata, seriously. Kick his fucking ass!" he shouted, because while she was hot pissed, she was still his girl.

"Shut… up!" A gasping, red, and sweaty—breathless—girl.

Standing over her, Itachi shook his head and helped her up. " _Footwork_ , Hinata-san. I've told you before, you over extend your reach and then when I grab you, you don't have the stability to counter." He really was in full on sensei mode.

Grimacing, Hinata was consciously set her feet as she assumed a defensive stance, arms up and loose. "Yes, sensei."

Of course the resident masochist was snickering. "Sensei." He looked up as someone stepped into the dojo to his left. "Uchiha-dono! Greetings." Even he knew better than to be anything but polite to this woman.

Across the mats, Hinata quickly echoed Hidan and dropped a quick bow while Itachi paused, eyes swinging up to the clock in faint alarm.

His mother gave him a knowing smile. "You've all officially missed dinner," she declared sweetly. "Your portions have been packed up into the fridge, so when you decide to eat..." Her amused gaze flicked over the pale faces. "Just be sure to clean up after yourselves."

Hidan edged away from the woman a bit, as quiet as possible so as not to draw her attention. Fortunately, she was focused, brow arched, on her son.

"Aah. Thank you, okaasan, for your kindness," Itachi dipped into a shallow bow. "I apologize for my oversight." As he rose, he gave his mom a smile. "Unfortunately, I did not keep track of the time. We'll be finished in a few minutes."

Beside him, Hinata has straightened, and was giving Itachi a grateful look. Looks like someone was getting tired.

"Okay. You kids have fun, then," Mikoto-san replied with cheer, and turned away.

Once she was gone, Hidan, who had managed to inch his way over to stand beside Hinata, leaned back and sagged. "Holy shhh... I almost wet my pants, dude."

Hinata shot him an exasperated look. "She's not that scary."

"Like fuck!" he shot back, grinning at her. He cackled and gestured toward Itachi. "These fucking Uchihas." The masochist held up a finger in emphasis. "One minute, they're smiling and nice, then you turn your fucking back," he ranted, stepping up to stand toe to toe with her, "and bam, they've fucking stabbed you." His wine red eyes were full of mischief as he met her gaze, even as he danced away from Itachi's lazy kick.

It was way worth it to see the smile curling over her face, though. "It's a good thing I've got Itachi-sensei then," she said, not even glancing over as Itachi advanced on him. "As long as I follow his instructions, I should be safe, right?"

"Hnn." The bastard apparently agreed, because he narrowed his eyes on Hidan. " _Your_ footwork is good," Itachi noted, ignoring the sputtering from his official student, "but your defence is horrid." Well, they all knew the reason for _that_. Hidan's answering grin only confirmed it. Itachi huffed and turned to Hinata. "We will go through the kata again, only this time much slower and I will stop you for corrections as you go."

Chewing her lip, Hinata nodded and settled into position again with a deep breath.

Three moves later, Itachi shook his head. "Stop." Moving forward, he stalked over to her right side and nudged her right foot further back. "Do you feel the difference?"

She frowned, then nodded.

"Good," Itachi said and moved back again. "Continue."

"Yes, sensei."

And on that went for another five minutes. By the end of that little song and dance, Hinata was looking tired, but happier and Itachi had sent her off to shower.

Hidan watched her ass until she was out of sight. "So, grub?" He smirked at the Uchiha. "I'll heat 'em up."

Over by one of the walls, Itachi nodded. "Appreciated. Don't wait for me, either. I'll be here for a few more minutes cleaning up," he paused to sweep a critical eye over the dojo's floorboards. "It seems that someone has been forgetting their chores."

"Cool," Hidan replied, brightening, and went to heat their dinner in the otherwise empty kitchen.

About ten minutes later, he grinned when Hinata came into the room. "Hey, goddess!"

"Hey, yourself," Hinata said, smiling as she walked up and gave him a hug. "Oh, that smells delicious," she murmured, face nestled in close under his chin.

"Uchiha-dono's cooking is seriously legendary," Hidan replied with reverence, and handed over the plate that just came out of the microwave. "Here."

Hinata carefully took the plate and took a long appreciate sniff. "I believe you," she said, walking it over to the table where one other steaming plate was set. "Are we waiting for Itachi?"

He waved her on. "Nah. Eat, gorgeous." He slid the absent Uchiha's plate into the microwave, punched in the time and hit start before walking back over to the table. "How ya feeling?"

Rolling her shoulders, Hinata frowned for a moment then smiled. "Better than last week" she answered brightly. "It really helps having a hot shower right after, the muscles don't have time to lock up." Picking up her chopsticks, she tapped them against her lips in thought. "It's getting easier to understand his instructions too," she admitted. "Sometimes I know what he's going to correct right before he calls me on it."

Hidan got up again to get himself something to drink. "That's pretty impressive. You're a quick learner, though, so it'll get much better quickly. Want some juice?"

"Yes, please!" Hinata bent down to eat, and Hidan spotted rosey cheeks. This girl, so easily embarrassed.

He poured them both some orange and put the jug away, then walked back over to drop a casual kiss on the top of her head in passing. He set her juice in front of her when she lifted her head. Grinned. "Here."

Hinata covered her mouth and murmured, "Thanks." She pointed at something dark brown and meaty on her plate with her chopsticks. "This—" she swallowed "—is… I don't know what it is, but you have _got_ to try it."

Hidan laughed, and obligingly dug in. Which was all he did for the next twelve minutes until Itachi walked into the kitchen. The albino, mouth full of the last of his food and girlfriend looking on in amusement, waved toward the Uchiha mutely.

Nodding absently, Itachi made a bee line for the microwave, popping it open to check the temperature and setting the timer. "Hinata, Hidan, I'll be going to see Sakura after dinner, would you like to come with me or will you two be going straight home?" he asked as he snapped the microwave closed.

"Erm," Hinata thought for a moment. "I'd like to see her too. Hidan?"

He swallowed his food. "Yeah, sure," he agreed. It'd been a while since the four of them hung out.

"Excellent." Itachi leaned against the counter and pulled out his phone. "I'll let Sakura know I'm bringing you." Pausing, he reached over to nudge the fridge door open and peered in. Then huffed a laugh. "What are the chances that Kakuzu has eaten?"

"Slim to 'What's food?'" the albino scoffed. "She make a lot?"

"Hnn. Enough to pack an entire serving into a take away container. And you know what her bentos are like." Hell yeah. Those things were _stuffed_. The Uchiha heir let the fridge close and went back to his phone.

Beside him, Hinata hummed. "Itachi-san, when's your mother's birthday?" When she found both men looking at her, she blushed. "I-it's just so I c-can get her something." She waved at the scattered dishes. "She's been so nice."

"June first," Itachi replied. "If you'd like, talk to Sakura about presents. She likes to go shopping at odd times just see if anything comes of it."

Hidan shrugged. "That's a while away, though."

Itachi _may_ have grumbled, "That's what I said too," but when Hidan looked at him, the microwave dinged and the Uchiha was retrieving his plate.

"Hmm, I'll do that. Thanks, Itachi-san." Ever the polite girl, Hinata stood up to give Itachi a bow, then took her dishes to the sink.

Hidan thought about asking, but decided not to. Something told him it'd be less interesting than it seemed. "Anyway. Hinata, wanna help me con Tenten into a date with Kakuzu? The bastard is mooning again. It's pathetic."

There was a strange cough from Itachi as he sat down and the water shut off from the other side of the kitchen.

"I can't do that Hidan," Hinata said, scrubbing at a bowl. "First of all, that wouldn't help Tenten at all. Second, Kakuzu would get really angry."

"Yeah. It'd be hilarious." Why was this not more entertaining to her?

"Mhmm." And the sigh. Hidan grinned. "Alright. What's your idea? I'm not saying yes, but tell me first. At least then I'll know whether it has a chance of working."

"Just arrange to see a movie and bail," he replied with a shrug. "Maybe kick Dei out and have our own date." He smirked.

Hinata blinked at him. "Oh! I thought you meant something else." She gave him a sheepish smile. "I think I've been hanging around Itachi and Kakuzu too much." Shrugging, she frowned. "If Kakuzu asked, Tenten would go. She wouldn't see it as a date, but she's in denial anyway." Looking up, Hinata blushed.

"And why do you think she's in denial?" Itachi asked from across the table.

Looking to the side, Hinata sighed. "She goes to him whenever she can. And the only reason why I'm not angry about that is because Kakuzu goes to her whenever she lets him."

Hidan made a vague gesture. "He doesn't care about specific people often. But when he does..." He shrugged with a meaningful look at his girlfriend, then went on. "What about dinner instead?"

Canting her head, Hinata hummed. "Somewhere nice, where none of our schoolmates would ever go, private, but still public enough that there's no danger of indecency—Oh wait, this is Kakuzu we're talking about." She arched a brow at Hidan. "Itachi-san? Do you know of any good high end restaurants you could get them into?"

Itachi scoffed. "What's Kakuzu's typical budget?" he fired back, at both Hinata and Hidan. "I know what he spends on casual outings, but Tenten is a whole different matter."

"Huh. He could probably blow a hundred on a dinner if he really wanted to," Hidan said thoughtfully. With all that work he did, plus conning people, plus having school funds from his loans and scholarships... "Without hurting himself, I mean." Of course, it was Kakuzu so that didn't happen.

Hinata took a seat at the table and looked from Itachi to Hidan and back. "What if… we bought a gift certificate with a due date - and Tenten's name?"

"And the reason for such a specific gift?" Itachi asked, one brow raised.

Grimacing, Hinata shrugged. "That she's in denial and needs to give Kakuzu a decent chance?"

But Itachi was shaking his head. "Such a blunt tactic has as much chance of working as Kakuzu's truck breaking down."

"Kakuzu's truck!" Hinata sat up straight, eyes wide.

Itachi blinked. Hidan twitched, opening his mouth to protest.

"There's a costume tournament that's on the weekend before Halloween," Hinata explained quickly. "Tenten used to go when she was younger, but a few years ago she had to stop, no one was able to go with her, and it's an eight hour drive out of town. Her cousin won't let her go on her own. But if Kakuzu goes with her…"

Hidan brightened. "You're a fucking genius, babe." He smirked. "So we drop her that hat."

"And Kakuzu gets her all weekend!" Hinata said with a wide grin.

"Genma will be glad to get Kakuzu out of the office for a few days," Itachi added. "A week if possible."

Hinata giggled. "Overtime _is_ expensive."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: I don't have much left after this...


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gaara. So many lasers (world's collide!) and so much texting...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: [ _Text messages are in square brackets now!_ ][ _It's a thing!_ ]

The dual notice of an incoming text and a knock at the door would have been an automatic Ino assumption, but there was no way Ino-pig would be up at seven am if she could help it. Not on a Sunday morning.

Sakura scowled at the shuffling in the hall she checked her phone… and then lurched for the locks a moment later.

"Gaara-kun!" she belted out as she pulled open the door because there stood Gaara alright. Hair shaggy and perma-frown in place. "Hi! Naruto said you'd be dropping by. If you give me a minute? I can get dressed."

"... Fine. Hurry up, I'm getting you breakfast," he said, and made himself comfortable against the wall.

Rolling her eyes, Sakura took two steps forward and hugged him tight. And just as quickly, she let go, stepping back to grin. "It's good to see you again. Be right back!" Holding back a giggle at his huge eyes and slack mouth, Sakura slipped back into her dorm, shutting the door.

In the other bed, Konan was a lump of blankets and sapphire hair. _Thank goodness._ Sakura tiptoed past, picking up leggings and a dark green dress from the open closet. Another moment was spent grabbing a pair of socks and her boots—it was pouring outside—and she managed to sneak into the washroom without waking her roomie. Not that Konan was bad… Okay, who was she kidding, Konan was terrifying before eleven am on a weekend. But she also had a habit of oggling Sak's ass if they ever changed in the same room.

A few minutes later, Sakura was snagging an umbrella from under her bed and was bouncing out the door, purse slung over her shoulder. "Okay! All set! Where did you wanna go?"

The redhead shrugged and started down the hall with her. "It's up to you," he replied, which probably meant the only restaurants in town he knew of were Naruto's favorite ramen stands.

"Hmm… Let's go this way." She led the way to the west entrance and out, popping open the umbrella so that it shielded both their heads. Gaara of course didn't offer to take the umbrella, but by now Sakura only smiled and hefted it a little higher. The rain was sheeting down, obscuring most of her view, but thankfully there wasn't any wind. Diagonal rain was just sadistic. "So? How are the spiders?"

His smile was the same as always, quick and severe, and then not there anymore. "They're good. Naruto tried to name half of them 'Geko'."

Sakura snorted. "And how many did you end up with?" Deidara hadn't told her how many were to begin with and Naruto kept adding to the number as the texting continued. _Three hundred, pssh sure._ Threading her arm through his, she pulled them around a small but deep puddle and down the cobble path towards the tiny plaza. _I feel like pancakes…_

"Twenty four," he answered, not shifting her. He hesitated, but went on shortly. "How has school been?"

She glanced at him from the corner of her eyes and lifted a brow. "You ready for this?" she challenged, mocking a grave tone. Her friend didn't react and she looked forward again—no sense in getting mud on her boots. "It's brutal," Sakura confessed, nose wrinkling. "The only reason why I'm coming out this morning is because I'm still in first year and I've already finished what work I could. They really don't seem to _care_ if the students pay attention. Maybe it's the size of the classes? The number of classes on their rotation?" She shrugged. "You only get attention if you go to them out of class hours, otherwise you're on your own."

Beside her, she could _feel_ the scoff building, but she bobbed her head pre-emptively. "Yeah, I know. I know. It's part of growing up. Being an adult. Yadda yadda." She nudged him sideways and skirted another puddle. "It's still so _different_ though."

He made a noncommittal noise and fell silent as they paused on a street corner.

"Hey, you did ask." Sakura was still content though. It had been months, and while he did send texts and emails… Well, distance did make a difference. "What about you? How's home life? I hear Kankuro moved out, though I haven't seen him here yet."

"He works at Hyuuga's cafe," he replied with an puckered brow, not answering her question.

Sakura waited for a moment, quietly enjoying the stoic stroll towards fresh pancakes. A bit longer, and then she shook her head. _Fine then._ "I'll have to ambush him soon then," she said, spotting a smiling face and jiggling the umbrella in acknowledgement. "It's nice to know that there are other people beside me and Hina who have been sucked into a coffee house."

He nodded. "I think he's overworked." He slanted a glance her way, then looked ahead again. The restaurant she was aiming for loomed ahead of them, a haven of dry warmth and breakfast goods. "IHOP?" He sounded so incredulous that she had to laugh, which predictably made him frown.

Grinning she pulled him inside, collapsing the soaked umbrella to the side. "I figured, you could get a traditional breakfast any time you wanted back home, but I have never seen a western breakfast nook over there. So. Yes. IHOP." Beaming at the girl at the welcome counter, Sakura held up two fingers. "For two please. Corner by a window if possible." As the girl, Nariko, nodded and pulled two menus, Sakura eyed her reticent friend. "Have you even had pancakes before?"

"Of course I have," he muttered, a bit too quickly. He eyed the waitress like she might bite them, but followed Sakura without complaint. Even so, the redhead gave off an aura potent enough that nobody got in their way enroute to the table.

Sakura hummed. "Oh, of course." She let the matter drop, thanking Nariko as they sat down. Tucking her umbrella and purse to the side by the wall, Sakura flipped open a menu and allowed herself a few leisurely seconds to peruse her options. Across from her, Gaara scowled and copied her… She affixed a look of bland self-preoccupation and ignored him.

A few seconds longer and he set his down. "I don't like this."

"Hmm?" Sakura raised her eyes from the bright pictures and waited.

"Living so far away from you and- Naruto." He scowled. "I don't like it."

Sakura blinked and sat up straight. _Okay, not the pancakes then._ "Are you gonna move in with Kankuro-kun?" It would make the most sense… temporarily.

The boy snorted but seemed to be considering it. "Maybe. Naruto also says he has a spare room. Apparently no one wants it."

"He always was threatening to kidnap Sasuke and keep him there," she said, thinking it over. Naruto's place would work well… if Gaara didn't kill Jiraya right from the beginning. Sometimes Jiraya had made rumbling noises about Kakashi staying in that room, but the teacher had always nixed those ideas fast. "That would be fantastic! And Kank—Oh! Quick, what do you want to drink? The waitress is coming over."

He blinked and turned his head to watch the woman approach. "Jasmine tea," he announced promptly.

"IHOP, Gaara. They don't… Actually, you know what? I don't know if they don't." Sakura let her bemusement show and shrugged. And when the waitress smiled and asked for their drink choices, Sakura learned that, yes, they did in fact have jasmine tea. _Huh_. And off Uno went with their order. Sakura had gotten orange juice.

"But yeah, it would be great if you could move over here," Sakura picked up her menu again. "Kankuro wouldn't complain, but sharing his "tiny-ass apartment" probably wouldn't work well for longer than a month." Naruto had been dismayed about the bachelor pad, but Sakura knew about rental prices and wasn't surprised. "Do you want help figuring out how to transfer?"

He shook his head. "No, the principal will help, gladly." He shrugged. "And if not, it shouldn't be too hard."

Sakura frowned for a moment. Gaara looked… uneasy. Stoic was his default setting, awkward was not often. "Well… if you ever had questions, just ask, okay?" Giving him another meaningful look—hopefully to really pound in her sincerity—she waggled the menu. "Now pick your pancakes already. I wanna see what you end up with."

Gaara almost smiled at that.

xXx

At some point in the last ten minutes, Sasuke had begun to regret his decision to team up with Shikamaru, Zetsu and Kisame. Not because any of them were particularly bad at this game, no. In fact, under any other circumstances, the Uchiha was relatively certain they would decimate the competition. Under any other circumstances.

Today, in the near-darkness of the laser tag room, they were being systematically destroyed. Their opponents? Ino and Deidara, of all people, on a team with the apparently diabolical Yuki-san, and Sai.

He wasn't sure how they were doing it, but Shikamaru had already "died" for the round, Zetsu was down half his hit points, and Sasuke had one left himself. Kisame was the only one with most his "life", but the pair of them had been forced to take cover from Ino-or-Deidara (it was impossible to tell which it was in the dimness of the room). "How the hell?" Sasuke muttered, eying in front of them, and the left "hall" while Kisame beside him traded shots with the blond keeping them pinned.

Kisame grunted and lurched to the side with a curse. "Fuck. That was close." Still hadn't lost any points though. Bastard. "I think it's both Yamanaka and Dei over there," Kisame said, grinning. "They pop up and down like fucking demented groundhogs."

Sasuke couldn't help a laugh at that. "Maybe we should leash them."

As he spoke, a shadow loomed to his right, gun aimed, and shot. Sasuke swore and ducked a second too late, taking the shot to the shoulder. His armor lighting turned red, signaling his "death", and a laughing Sai dove away from Kisame's trailing shots, only to take two from Zetsu a second later.

"I die with dignity!" the bizarre artist proclaimed as his blue lights flashed red too.

Snorting with laughter, Kisame rolled his eyes and nudged the downed Sai with the side of this boot. "Hey corpse, get up and get out." He glanced up at Sasuke and grimaced. "Shit. How is this even happening?" Shaking his head, Kisame stealthed past Sasuke with a consolatory pat to the shoulder. "See ya in half an hour." And he disappeared around a corner.

Shaking his head, Sasuke helped Sai up, and they headed out to join Shikamaru in the armor room. "I have a new respect for Haku-chan," Sai said as they passed into the brighter light.

The door swung shut behind them as both paused to let their eyes adjust. Sasuke waved to Shikamaru, heading for the frames set up to hold the armor.

"You have no idea," Shika drawled from where he sat in front of the monitors. "That guy is ridiculous. More so than the terror team that is Ino and Toji." He didn't sound happy.

Curious, Sasuke detoured to watch over Shikamaru's shoulder, absently undoing the buckles and straps of his armor as he did. His eyes widened as the slender boy actually scaled one of the dividing walls to get a shot in at Kisame, right in the back of his armor, then let gravity pull him back to safety, and quickly got out of sight. Instantly, Ino began firing to cover for him, and Deidara distracted Zetsu.

Sai sounded amused behind Sasuke. "We took Shikamaru out first on purpose. Haku-chan said you were the biggest threat."

"Gee, thanks."

Shaking his head, Sasuke went to divest himself of the foam and plastic body gear. Sai went on. "Ideally, Kisame or Zetsu should have been second, but opportunity came, so I executed Sasuke without mercy."

There was a beat of silence and then Shikamaru coughed. "Yes, I see." Then, "Oh for fuck's sake, Kisa. You're an idiot." And another pause. "Okay, granted, a successful one."

Sasuke had just gotten the last of his armor off when Ino slammed through the door, pouting. "You abandoned me, Sai!" she accused petulantly.

He beamed. "Come here, I'll make it up to you!"

"Pig!" she snapped, but didn't stop him from helping with her armor.

Sasuke dismissed the pair from mind and went back over to watch with Shikamaru. It was just the older boys, and Haku, now, and there seemed to be some kind of lull. "Where are they?" He could see Kisame there, hunkered down and waiting, but none of the others were on camera.

A hum from Shikamaru and then he pointed to a screen down to the right. "Zetsu is lurking up there a few feet from the ceiling, that's why it's hard to find him. You can see his foot on the edge. It took me a while to realize there was a gap there." Then he gestured at another screen, top middle. "Haku is underneath one of the stairs… There, you see the glow reflecting off the gun? As for Toji…"

There was a flash across the camera, blond hair and a shout loud enough they heard it through the wall. Deidara was racing right for Kisame.

Zetsu suddenly dropped down right behind him, the blond grinned madly... And ducked down as Zetsu fired. Three shots, right into Kisame's vest. Haku had come up behind the comically alarmed green haired boy, and took him out.

"And that's the game," Shikamaru groaned as he sat back. "That was very well played."

On the screens, Kisame was throwing his hands up and apparently ranting. However, even though his arms were waving, his grin was wide enough to see across the board.

Sasuke watched Haku revert to sheepish modesty, watched Deidara clap him on the shoulder, and Zetsu shake his head before heading for the doors. "I'm so glad Haku is our friend."

Beside him, Shikamaru snorted. "Can you imagine if your brother were here? I can't decide which scenario would be worse, them on opposing teams or on the same one."

"Can you not give me nightmares? Thanks." Sasuke rolled his eyes and looked to the door as the four came through.

Sai handed high fives out to his teammates, and Ino even hugged Haku in congratulations. "Let's get pizza, now. On the losers!"

Kisame heaved a loud sigh at Ino's demand, but shrugged. "Fuck. Yeah, okay, I can respect that." He turned and pointed at Zetsu. "You though—you _bastard_ —are buying me beer, because what the fuck man? Line of fire. C'mon, you know this shit." Racking his gear, Kisame started to laugh. "But _damn_ , Yuki."

Coming up behind Kisame, Shikamaru rolled his eyes and shoved the older teen towards the food court. "You can talk while walking, Kisa. _Move_ already."

Haku beamed. "I think it's cute that you have nicknames!"

Sasuke eyed him. "You're terrifying."

Sai threw his arm around the girly male's shoulders, grinning. "Don't be jealous, Sasuke-kun. It's not very attractive."

Sasuke twitched. Bastard.

Ahead of them, Kisame was letting Shikamaru push him out the door, Haku keeping pace. "I'm calling you "General" from now on, Yuki," the big idiot was blathering on. "I mean, how the hell did you get those two to work together?"

"What two?" Deidara and Ino yelped in unison.

Haku just laughed. "Oh any explosive can be managed, Kisame-san!"

Kisame tilted his head back in consideration, or maybe just to lean back further onto the grumbling Shikamaru. After a few steps, Kisame straightened up and looked down at Haku. "You know, Yuki, I think I'd be scared shitless, but I'm _really_ curious to know what your sex life is like."

Haku batted his eyelashes and looked ahead, lighting up. "Kakashi-sama!" he chirped and hurried ahead.

Sasuke blinked. 'Sama?' he mouthed at Shikamaru.

"I notice he didn't answer you," Sai commented to Kisame.

"It really... wasn't a question," Kisame replied, clearly distracted.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes at Sasuke, shoved his boyfriend forward, reached up and slapped Kisame upside the head. " _You_ are buying me pizza."

"Owww…"

Sasuke shook his head, eying Haku and Kakashi, the latter of which was smiling curiously down into Haku's face. And then he was smirking. Sasuke didn't want to know and hurried to catch up with the others.

Zetsu was obligingly buying a beer for himself and Kisame, while Kisame got a couple pizzas for everyone. Ino asked Sai for a soda and was granted it (though Sasuke noticed his payment was in the form of a boob-grope).

They'd just sat down when Haku rejoined them, sans Kakashi.

Across from Sasuke, Shikamaru wordlessly pushed the hawaiian towards the newly minted "General".

Haku beamed. "Thank you!"

"So, another round after this?" Dei asked eagerly.

Shikamaru traded glances with Sasuke. "That was the plan," Shikamaru said nodding. "We'll just have to wait for the current group in there to finish."

"That'll give us some time to come up with a different strategy, right, Shikamaru?" Kisame followed up with a sharp grin.

"Several actually," Shikamaru responded, and then added lowly, "and I think we'll need all of them this time."

Haku, across the table, only smiled.

xXx

 _This is a stupid idea_. Tenten bit her lip and eyed the clock. It wasn't too late in the evening. She was pretty sure Kuzu was still awake. Hell, knowing him, he was probably either doing paperwork or … Maybe she shouldn't bother him right now. He might be conning some unfortunate into playing pool with him.

For a moment, she sat back and smiled at nothing, remembering the night she and Hinata had gone to the bar to tease Hidan. Briefly she wondered if Kakuzu had been interested in her back then, but dismissed the thought. _Not likely_.

Tenten gazed down at her phone and sighed. _What am I doing?_ She made a face in the screen's reflection and felt a little more horrible. _First, I'm telling him I need time, then two weeks later I'm trying to ask if I can borrow him and his means of transportation for my benefit?_

It really didn't paint a pretty picture of herself.

He'd say yes. Of course, he'd say yes. _Oh, and isn't that decent of me, already taking him for granted?_

Tenten rubbed a hand over the soft material on her knee and tilted her head back to thud against the wall. If she did ask him, she'd be taking advantage of his feelings. If she didn't ask him, he'd find out somehow—because he just would—and then be upset that she _didn't_ ask him.

Of course, she could try asking someone else… Try being the key word there, as for the past few years, absolutely _no one_ was available to drop three days to make the trip. Even her old dojo mates weren't interested in going anymore. All too adult now. Far too childish to dress up and fight for candy.

_And besides, what would he even do while we were there? If, theoretically, we did go. By ourselves. For three days._

Honestly, it was a miracle in itself that Xi wasn't poking his nose more into her sudden interest in an old adventure and leaving her to figure it out on her own..

Or, at least, _almost_ all on her own. Whoever was driving her would have to pick her up from home… and say hello to her cousin.

 _Kakuzu and Xi._ Tenten groaned. This really was going to be a huge favour. Usually Xi would be easy, but… There was definitely down side to being a girl and youngest in the house.

Tenten groaned again and slumped over on her bed, curling to a fetal position. _Maybe he'll say no?_ She brought her phone up to her face and pulled up her text messages. Hina-chan's were at the top, but Kuzu was right under.

[ _Hey, I've got a really selfish request to make of you. Are you free to chat atm?_ ]

She stared at the draft for a moment, sighed, and hit send. Brownie points for being upfront?

Five minutes of watching her phone later, Tenten shook her head and went to take a shower. When she came back again, rubbing the water from her hair, she sat and stared at her phone some more.

She was just contemplating homework when her phone lit up, Kakuzu's text tone chiming.

[ _What is it?_ ] So simple, so to the point.

[ _There's a martial arts tournament out of town on the weekend before Halloween and I want to go. But it's a day of driving just to get there. No one can take me, so—_ ]

Tenten paused. _Well, obviously, he knows what I'm going to ask_. But she still had to ask. Making assumptions was not something she wanted to encourage.

[— _would you be up for going on a road trip with me?_ ]

"Gah…" Tenten muttered and hit send.

Several minutes passed. Then, [ _What time am I picking you up?_ ]

"Uhm," said Tenten. And then, "Damn, man." She knew he'd say yes, but… _He didn't even ask for payment. For anything. Like gas._

[ _I should mention it's a three day event… You sure?_ ]

Technically, it was just Saturday and Sunday, but they'd have to leave Friday morning… and book a hotel for two nights. _Oh my god, what am I doing?_

Several more minutes of anxiously peering at her phone later… [ _I'll have to move something, but yeah, it's fine. Bring food._ ]

She only had enough time to blink at that once before another text came in. [ _Also, we're splitting gas. You're doing me a favor. Believe me._ ]

Ironically, the mention of money made her relax. She raised her eyebrows at the favor bit though. _I get that he wants to spend time with me, but I don't think that's the only thing._

[ _Splitting gas is no problem. I still have a fair bit saved up from working with Sai, and my cousin has already agreed to give me enough to cover hotel fees for two rooms._ ]

She hit send, then huffed at herself and sent another message: [ _We'd be leaving my place Friday morning if we want to be in town at a reasonable time. It's over in River Country, Kentori._ ]

[ _Hang on, getting paid._ ] Five minutes after receiving that text, Kakuzu sent another. [ _Okay. You still haven't answered my question._ ]

Blinking, Tenten checked his previous messages and realized what he meant. [ _Details, details. You have a say in this too. I can leave anywhere after 8am. What works for you?_ ]

[ _I'll be there at 8:30_ ,] was the quick response. Another text followed it. [ _Should I be expecting to meet your family?_ ] Because of course Kuzu would think of everything. Sometimes, that was just uncanny.

[ _Um… just to say hello. Yeah._ ] Tenten cringed internally and added, [ _Xi might be… uh… protective._ ]

A full minute passed. The clock on her wall ticked annoyingly. Then, [ _I'll be there at 8. Also, if Hidan ends up dead, you're my alibi._ ]

Tenten snorted. [ _Yeah, okay_. _Thanks, Kakuzu_ ,] she sent back.

Blowing out a breath, she dropped her cell down onto her bed and rubbed both hands over her face. Now she had a ride and a fellow driver and… She was _going to Kentori for Halloween!_ "Eeeeeee!" Tenten squealed and jumped up.

She needed to tell Hinata. And then they were both going to find costumes. And then she was going to start stockpiling snacks for the trip. And talk to Sai to see if he wanted anything extra.

"Taka-chan?" _Oops._

"Guess what!" Tenten opened her bedroom door to find her cousin standing on the other side, looking amused and curious. "I've got a ride to Kentori!" she announced.

Xi grinned. "That's great!" he said, giving her a hug. "Good for you!" Leaning back, he tilted his head. "Soo… who is it?"

Like he didn't know already.

"It's Kakuzu-kun," Tenten told him and then straightened. "And you can't call me Taka in front of him!" she added, pointing at his wide grin. "It's embarrassing!"

"Awww! But it's true!"

"Don't you dare!"

"But _Taka_ -chan!"

" _Xi_!"

"You know, as your acting guardian, I am officially under the obligation to educate your _boyfriend_ on the proper way to address—"

" _No, you don't!_ "

xXx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it for now until life loosens its deathgrip and we have time to plot and write.  
> Thanks for sticking around!


End file.
